#2.26.15

[busydancin]

[itsawildwordxoxo]

I really, REALLY need to get my own place. Living here is such a struggle. I hate being talked to and treated like I'm a child while trying to live up to the expectation of maintaining adult responsibilities. Now I realize why people on my father's side do not like my mother. Someone who is so undeniably self righteous and hard-headed is very difficult to live with peacefully. Literally, trying to explain things to her is like speaking with a brick wall. How ironic it is that a nurse, someone who lives to serve others, can be so cold and so unwilling to understand another's perspective if it doesn't align with her own. I pray to God that I raise my children with more apathy and willingness to understand why they feel and act the way they do. I refuse to be a mother whom my children do not feel comfortable voicing their opinions and concerns to. For my sanity, I desperately need to leave.

[purenumbers]

2/26/16

2 - 2 + 6 = 1 * 6

Also:

(2 + 2)! = 6 * √16

Also:

2 / 2 = 6 * 1 / 6

Also:

2 = 2 = 6 - √16

[thatweirdskeleton]

As soon as i heard gay marriage was legal, i noticed it became a lot sunnier where i was

THIS IS A GOOD SIGN

[dailyghcaps]

[dailyghcaps]

[carolinaylee]

let me tell you about my Lover

Another night of many tears and revelation. Fear is a bully and it torments me, looming over me and cornering me until I'm cowering under its shadow. It tells me to shut up, to close my heart, to violently snatch away any parts of my heart that I may have "foolishly" and "mistakenly" given away. It drills rejection into my mind and tells me that in order to avoid being known yet not loved, I must make myself neither known nor loved--the risk is not worth it.

But in a split moment of sweet surrender, Perfect Love bursts in and in seeing me, knows me; in knowing me, loves me. When I'm lost in fear of the things I've done in the past and of the contents of my heart, Perfect Love stares deeply into me with His burning eyes and affirms, "I am not afraid of your heart. I won't run away." Perfect Love not only comes, but He remains. He stays close to my heart and reassures me, "You don't have to close your heart; its contents won't shake my love for you, they won't change the way I feel about you. I've seen your heart--your weaknesses, your fears, your messes, your beauty, your treasures, your passions, your dreams, your insecurities, your desires--and I'm not going anywhere."

You see, Perfect Love rejects the idea of being known yet not loved and the idea of being neither known nor loved; instead, He perfects the idea of being both deeply known and deeply loved. Perfect Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. He is patient and kind, ever waiting upon my heart.

Suddenly... the bully that once tormented my thoughts and demented my path has no say over me, because Perfect Love casts out all fear. And in a sweet moment of wary surrender, Perfect Love takes over, embracing me whole and making His home in my heart.