#20.4.19

[faithinthemoment]

How to describe the dark and sensuous beauty of this song? This ode to women. The music that hypnotises. God, I adore this song. A b-side gem for the assembled masses at Albert Hall. Yes, Suede.

[devonjwerkheiser]

[devonjwerkheiser]

[devonjwerkheiser]

[devonjwerkheiser]

[devonjwerkheiser]

[godsnameisjoy]

Mental Echo

Date : 20 April 2019

Duration : 25 minutes at bedtime.

Depth :

The mental voice with which I chant along with my breath, sounded different to me last night ! It sounded like a mental voice in a roomy mind ! ‘Didn’t know that such a thing was even possible. Since there are a bunch of meditation milestones that I haven’t read about, such experiences surprise me pleasantly. It didn’t last too long though. This happened with the early onset of suspended breaths. After a moment of observing the phenomenon, my deep subconscious insisted that I give some of my attention to it.

Now that I have written it out, I feel that maybe this is how one gets to hear the sound that sounds like Om. Once meditation has taken you to a quiet roomy chamber in the mind where mental voices seem to echo, what could possibly drown sounds from spaces that are deeper yet. Anyway, that’s just another working theory that I have come up with.

With regards duration, I did something smart last night. I had finished long before the 25 minutes reminder bell rung. After completing the closing ritual, I told myself to sit a bit longer. I ended up sitting until the bell rung. Cool.

[imkeepingtrack]

Recap: 20.4.19

My mum and B1 were out this evening and B2 didn't do anything he was supposed to. My mum doesn't care. What the point in telling him to do things if there are no consequences to him not doing them? It's the reason he never does what he's told. Because a significant amount of the time nothing happens if he doesn't do it.

I got my mum an Easter egg. It's huge. Also a couple of smaller chocolate things.

The choir practice this afternoon was good. The lower parts of the choir I'm in are sitting with the lower parts of the main choir which is a lot better than how it used to be, when the 2 choirs would sit separately. I can actually hear someone singing my part!

Not a lot happened today. I'm so ready for Monday though. 36 hours or so until we'll leave. I'll probably pack on Monday morning. I might get round to some of it tomorrow evening, but it seems unlikely.

I'm going to Tesco on Monday morning, to see if they have cheap Easter eggs. Hopefully they will. Also I need to get some cloths and antibacterial cleaning spray to take to college.

I have to get up early tomorrow morning so we can do an Easter egg hunt before my mum and B1&2 have to go at 8. Given it's almost 2 now, I'm going to really enjoy that. I might be able to get some more sleep once they're gone. Who knows.

Chatted (via text) with M about the college we're both probably going to from September. Neither of us are particularly optimistic. I used to be terrible at giving problems to "tomorrow me", but now I think I've got far too good at it. I just don't care. If everything falls apart, whatever. It doesn't really feel like stuff could be a whole lot worse than it feels now, so what's the point in trying to do anything?

I'm worried about going back to college. Not the residential bit, the actual college bit. In biology I've just been sitting on the floor going on my phone, often with music on. Last lesson the teacher came over, asked if I was up to writing some notes, I said I don't know, and he didn't come back to me for the rest of the 45 minute lesson. Whatever. It'll probably be a bit different if M's there, but idk. I also can't go to 3 out of 4 of my maths lessons as well so that's great. And the one I can go to is on a Monday so won't be happening this week.

I wrote out my 6 mile walk plan on my phone today. Went through it on Google maps just to make sure. I think it'll be good. I want to do it on Monday but I'm not 100% sure I will because I'm hoping to take my mum and B1&2 up a hill near college, and I'll need to unpack once I'm back. I guess I could unpack after walking in the evening. We'll see.

I definitely need to go to sleep now.