Time to write it all out.
So, Wednesday morning, around 9AM last week I finished reading Mockingjay. After staying up all night to finish I lay there crying for a while and then went to sleep. Then I woke up about 2 hours later, cried some more, longed for Peeta, and fell back to sleep again. Eventually I woke up again, I think around maybe 3 in the afternoon, cried some more and then thought that I shouldn't sleep anymore so that I'd be able to sleep later that night and I was feeling okay so I got up. I sat next to Emma in the lounge room, she was on her laptop and would talk randomly which helped to keep me away from my thoughts. Then my mum made me food, and Emma stopped talking because she was watching stuff and I couldn't hold it in anymore, so I went into my room and cried.
Honestly, I'm not even sure what I was crying about, I know it was caused by THG, but it was like I was crying about everything all at once (like everything I normally cry about plus THG). And then Emma found me there, slowly eating my pasta with tears running down my face. I kind of had a breakdown. She got my mum and dad and they were all like 'what's wrong?' and such, but all I could say was I don't know and cry more. After that I stopped speaking and just lay on my bed crying for most of the night. And when I say I stopped speaking, I mean I didn't talk again until like Monday. I also made myself sick, I hadn't eaten properly so my stomach was empty but my sinuses were full from the crying and so it all drained into my stomach and I threw up. Well, I did after I'd eaten again.
Yeah, so since then I've been avoiding tumblr, and watching all my favourite shows, and even listening to music (also talking...). I've been too afraid to do any of it and I know why I was afraid because I just saw a THG post on my dash and had a bit of a freak out. But mostly I was just afraid of seeing anything that might make me emotional (in a sad way). And I am still afraid. I'm going to have to take it slow I think.
I seriously regret the way I read the books. I must never read anything that emotional with so little sleep and food again.
I think that's about all.