The Beauty Behind SZA's (only) Studio Album, Ctrl
SZA is one of the biggest female artists in the music industry. Having received 21 awards for her music, there is no doubt that SZA has made a name for herself in the R&B music scene. That said, it comes as a surprise that she has only released one official studio album to date: Ctrl. All it took was this one album for SZA to take the world by storm. This record is a powerful compilation of slow-paced angelic vocals, deeply personable memoirs, and dreamy background instrumentals that offer a brutally honest look at the aftereffects of being in unhealthy relationships.
The release of SZA’s debut album, Ctrl, was long-awaited by underground-music fans who happened to stumble upon her self-released EPs from the early 2010s. But, this album is much different from her past work; It is a complex musical diary decorated with trap beats, offering raw lyricism surrounding the perils of being a woman in today’s dating world. Despite what the title may suggest, the album Ctrl seems to be more about SZA losing control than gaining it. She discusses her inability to balance her relationship with herself and her lovers. The opening track, "Supermodel," sets the tone for the rest of the album, serving as a confessional song directed towards a past boyfriend of hers:
Let me tell you a secret-
I been secretly banging your homeboy
Why you in Vegas
All up on Valentine's day?
SZA mentions in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that the narrative discussed in this track is based on true events and that it would be the first time the ex-boyfriend would hear about her revenge. When listening to this honest recount of SZA’s turbulent past, you cannot help but feel the same way you would when offering a listening ear to your best friend as they vent about their struggles with finding love. That feeling of comfort in knowing they can confide in you, but the hurt in knowing that you have felt similar pain before.
Before we go on, let's get one thing straight: Ctrl is by no means a sorrowful collection of tearful, self-pitying ballads. The record is an empowering reclamation of self. Tracks such as “Normal Girl” and “20 Something” tackle themes of womanhood and self-discovery. These are the types of songs you play on the anxious car ride to your hair salon where you plan on getting the cathartic “post-breakup haircut.” They are the songs you sing aloud with your friends after having bittersweet “remember when…” conversations. The songwriting in both songs is painfully relatable and captivates the listener through moody instrumentals and graceful singing.
The standout track, "Drew Barrymore," is a melodic song that speaks to every young woman who has ever struggled with body image and self-acceptance. Consider the following lyrics:
I get so lonely, I forget what I'm worth
We get so lonely, we pretend that it's worse
I'm so ashamed of myself, think I need therapy
I'm sorry I'm not more attractive
I'm sorry I'm not more ladylike
I'm sorry I don't shave my legs at night
In these strip-backed lines, SZA acknowledges the high societal standards placed on women. She proceeds to apologize for not behaving or portraying herself in the ways that the “ideal” woman should. As revealed in a Rolling Stones interview, the title of the track is a direct reference to the iconic female roles played by legendary actress, Drew Barrymore, who SZA felt were representations of self-proclaimed outcasts who are still worthy of love despite their flaws. Ultimately, this song acts as a statement piece for SZA, as it is an excellent display of honest self-perception and vulnerability, reminiscent of the self-deprecating lyrical style of Amy Winehouse.
Although SZA managed to create what most of her fans have deemed a “no-skip album,” there are a few misfires throughout the record that are hard to ignore. Take the track “Doves in the Wind'' ft. Kendrick Lamar, for example, in which the word “p**sy is repeated 28 times in under four minutes. The provocative lyrics suggest that the objective of the song is to expose the sexual desperation of men while simultaneously honoring the divinity of the female body. But, idle wordplay and nonsensical lines such as “P**sy can be so facetious, the heavyweight champ. P**sy is so undefeated, let's amen to that” read as satire and fall short of effectively expressing the central theme.
Ultimately, Ctrl, to its core, is a deeply personal and beautiful representation of where SZA’s mind was at when navigating her mid-twenties. Her ability to frame her painfully honest personal stories in a way that feels like a warm hug takes great creative foresight and musical talent. The vulnerability of this album makes for the perfect soundtrack for those seeking a musical journey of self-discovery and reflection.
