#22.37

[kalb-ivaveyla]

sesini duyunca daha çok özlüyorum

[kalb-ivaveyla]

ben mutsuz uyuyunca sinirli uyanıyorum

[thequakergoesdeaf]

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The Quaker Goes Deaf - Playlist 22.37

Beaches--Keep On Breaking Through--She Beats

Holy Monitor--Ocean Trail--Southern Lights

Moon Duo--Sevens--Occult Architecture Vol. 2

The Asteroid No. 4--A Castle Built For Two--Tones of the Sparrow

The Hanging Stars--I Don't Want To Feel So Bad Anymore--Hollow Heart 

Alejandro Escovedo--Teenage Luggage--The Crossing

The Estranged--Doubts and Regrets--The Subliminal Man

Viagra Boys--Creatures--Welfare Jazz

Kill Shelter/Antipole--A Kiss in the Rain--A Haunted Place

Flat Worms--Antarctica--Antarctica

Au Pairs--We're So Cool--Stepping Out Of Line

Live Skull--Shadow War--Saturday Night Massacre

Datura4--Journey Home--Demon Blues

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds--Albert Goes West--Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!

Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever--French Press--The French Press

Sad Planets--Yesterday Girls--Akron, Ohio

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin--Stepbrother City--The High Country

Bleached--Sour Candy--Welcome to the Worms

Gallows Birds--My Lambretta--Quaranteenage Kicks

Hollywood Sinners--That's All She Wrote--Disastro Garantito

[okunmayanadam-blog]

Derinden sevmek

Hem öyle güle oynaya derinden sevmek olmaz. Hızlı inersen dibe ya da gözün korkar hızlı çıkarsan dipten , ciğerlerinin patlayacağını bilmelisin. Zamanında çıkmazsan dipten boğulacağınıda bilmelisin. Yani diyeceğim o ki sevda denen bu derya da herkes derine inemez.

yüzmeyi biliyorsan sev beni

[oavye-blog]

This song has an important part in this text.

I want to cry to it. Though I refuse to believe it's because of the lyrics, because the lyrics is a love story and the only "love story" I've had is with Newton and I refuse to believe that I am addicted to him and especially that I am in love with him in any level. Because that's not how I feel. I don't feel like that's an option. I don't feel like it can be possible, because I feel so neutral towards him. I think. Ahhhh fuckk.

I think that this song reminds me of other sad moments. From movies I think. Like Titanic, though I don't think it's a good movie any more. I don't know... "country music" has a special effect on me. And I don't mean what I usually mean with effect. I mean that they search through my entire soul and memory for small pieces fo... I donät know.Something deep inside of me, in small piecies, seperate pieces, that can me puzzled together. OR SOMETHING. I can't be bothered to make a proper text about this I need to get this out öalsjfaösjfaökdsj

I hate what I've become. 

Well stop fucking think like that, it's OK and it's enough, just stop sobbing about nothing. God for fuck's sake stop. Don't compare yourself with others and don't think that you have to fill up other's expectations.

This song reminds me of... The Beauty and the Beast. The Disney movie. The open fields that Belle sing on. I'd like to imagine my summer like that. And. On those places, nothing matters and I can be satisfied with myself god I feel like shit how the fuck is this possible I don't know what's happened

I want to make sure that Newton doesn't think that I'm in love with him. I. Am. Not. Yet I am so clingy. Shit. Half of the time I just feel stupid in his presence so how can I ever be so eager to be with him? Sigh, I'm obsessed. I will just... lock myself in my room and not think about this. Hah, luckily I can limit myself.

Why do I talk as if I actually am in love with him and can potentially do him harm?

Sigh

Someone stab my mind because I can't handle this right now.