Emotions I’ve been feeling lately....
My therapist recently suggested that I take up painting as a method of emotion regulation. The last few weeks have been really hard for me, and I’ve been meaning to try painting again for a while (went to one of those “Painting with a Twist” things a while ago and really liked it), so I went with it. There’s this lady on YouTube called the Art Sherpa who does class-like tutorials on it, and I’ve been learning through that. I’ve been having a lot of fun with it, and I’m especially proud of the one I did last night (bottom).
This whole thing came about when I realized that I’ve been having a little bit of a problem with identity. I don’t really know who I am or where I’m going in life, and I’ve been using other people’s opinions of me to define myself and my worth. Taking up a new hobby like painting is an attempt to give me a stronger sense of self--that it doesn’t matter if I lose X person in my life, because I still have Y. That I have inherent value, regardless of what I put out into the world. Still working on the whole self esteem thing, but it’s a start. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so proud of something I made.