#22:10

[purewasteland]

[biragacgibitekvehur]

[glimmerofawesome]

[sudenazzsblog]

Gözlerine bakarken, gözümü kırparak bir saniye bile zaman kaybetmek istemeyecek kadar çok seviyordum seni.

[d-e-s-c-o-o-r-d-i-n-a-d-a]

Me encuentro viviendo en una sociedad agónica...

Donde vivir para trabajar es una actividad común en la cotidianeidad,

Donde la gente misma reprime al otro, por sentirse a su vez reprimida por el sistema,

Donde la libertad se busca a través de la independencia laboral, el cual te conviertes en tu propio esclavo,

Donde demostrar cariño es considerado una demostración, ahora anticuadamente romántica,

Donde esta pasando de todo, y lo que se hace es hablar de cómo arreglar el mundo,

Puedo comprender todo, y lo veo tan ajeno...

[bibianxx]

#823

“Những người mà em thấy hoặc là yêu tốt hoặc là làm tốt việc,

hoặc là không làm tốt cái gì...

như em.”

[gac-nho-cua-mach]

Tổng kết 2018:

“Thời gian ấy đã trôi qua không dễ dàng.”

Gửi cô Mạch của 2019:

“Hey, ngưng vô dụng. Còn cuộc đời hãy rắc cho tôi chút ít dịu dàng, bão táp năm qua đã nếm đủ rồi.

Và ... làm ơn đừng bắt tôi “phải” nói lời chia ly với bất cứ ai, bất kì ai.”

[everyday-effing-therapy]

26/07/19

Hello!

Sorry I lied to you about posting yesterday, which I clearly didn’t do. I’m not trying to force excuses here, but I was dead tired from the trip, needing to hop under the shower ASAP and also really bored with retelling the same story from the previous five days again and again.

Let me just start off from the very beginning.

Let’s start with 20.07. I didn’t post on that day, cause I had manicure in the morning and then I slept, packed and overall got ready. I was planning to post at night, but I knew I already wrote about the hiatus and besides, it turned out that I had to arrive at V’s house on Saturday and not Sunday. Her mom promised to drive us some way to the seaside, but we had to leave early in the morning, therefore it turned out I had to arrive on Saturday’s night.

On Sunday, 21.07, there was Su’s birthday, who is our best friend, so we decided to call her two minutes before midnight, not to let anybody hold the line. Su was already by the seaside.

When I arrived at V’s house it was about 11pm. She packed, we went on a walk with her dog, called Su and then didn’t go to sleep up until 3 am.

At 3 am, Su called saying that she argued with her boyfreind, Opal.

Basically, Opal and Silver arrived on Saturday, Su and Z were already there on a holiday and me and V were supposed to come on Sunday. The six of us were to live together for 5 days and then Silver and Opal were supposed to stay with Black, Gold and another guy for the next couple of days and us girls were supposed to come back home.

Opal and Silver tried to get on well with Su’s and Z’s friends from the holidays, but they’re from two different worlds and Silver and Opal didn’t really have fun. Which is, well, their problem, but then they were mad that Z started to come after a lot of guys and they kept on chasing her the entire evening, so that she wouldn’t do anything stupid.

They obviously had their hearts in the right place, but some peple will always do what they want, even if it’s dangerous and Z is exactly that kind of person. Besides, if anything, they should be mad at Z, but they decided to get pissed at Su. During her birthday.

Which led her to call us crying.

We calmed her down, but the next day, after the 2,5 hour trip with V’s mom, during which we listened to Ed Sheeran’s new album (about which I already talked about) and the 2 hour train trip to the small seaside town, the atmosphere was not that good. We eventually got the house, planned how we were going to sleep and because Su was mad at her boyfriend, he slept with Silver, I slept with Su and V. Z slept alone.

The first day was shitty. We argued a lot, Silver said some very rude things to me because he was tired and well, that didn’t end well. We finished the day by having a bonfire at the beach, but we had to finish that a bunch of hours later, cause we weren’t allowed to do so.

The next day was a bit better, we had more fun because of a bonfire. We went to the supermarket and argued again, because Opal and Z really wanted to throw a surprise birtday party for Z (who had her birthday on 21.07, they have already celebrated on 20.07 and then anther partty on 22.07) and me and V knew that she didn’t want that. Silver was against the idea as well. Fortunately, the party didn’t really work out and we spent the night together, but Opal and Su again had a problem, so we went to nearby city to clear our minds - just me, V and Su. We had waffles, walked the pier, got matching henna tattoos, bought books and ate dinner. After that we came home for that party, but Opal was mad big time.

We woke up at 2 pm on 23.07. We travelled to another city, walked around and had so much fun. That was a really good day, I had an awesome time with Silver and the rest, but when we came home my ankle got so swollen, I couldn’t walk straight.

Silver offered to carry me downstairs, we somehow got down and I got into the bathroom. I wondered whether or not to lock myself, cause I was afraid of falling down, but I decided that nothing bad could have happened to that ankle and I didn’t know whether somebody wouldn’t just barge into the bathroom without knocking. I locked myself, thank god, because Opal felt sick and since he couldn’t get to the bathroom, he threw up outside. Silver stayed with him half of the night, to make sure he was okay.

On 24.07 Gold arrived. We went to the beach since I couldn’t really walk. Almost everybody got sunburnt, but V had it the worst. After that, we ate dinner, went to the beach again to take some pictures and packed, cause the next day was the day of coming home.

We woke up at 25.07, ate breakfast, got waffles and left the house. Me, Su and V took the same train, but V left the fastest cause she was visting family by the sea. Me and Su had to travel for a long time and it was very tiring, cause we didn’t have seating spots, but thankfully, we got home.

After that I had to unpack, take care of my ankle and I fell asleep, cause I had my driving class in the morning.

I didn’t have any driving class during the last two weeks, so let me tell you, it was the absolute worst. I still feel so bad because of that, but I’m trying to forget somehow. Today, I also visited my grandma and soon, I’ll prepare myself to sleep.

If you asked me about how I felt during the trip, I’d have to admit that mostly okay. I didn’t worry about anyhing that I worry about at home, my mental health was better, but we did argue, which in turn made me cranky. The swollen ankle didn’t help at all, but it’s better now.

I realised that I don’t love Silver. He said that he wouldn’t pursue anything with any girl now, so I’m letting go and it does seem possible now, finally.

I do miss Black a lot. I told Opal that i wanted to go to prom with Black, when Opal asked me about whether Silver and Opal finally made the decision between them. I also told him that Silver asked another girl out and Opal was genuinely surprised.

So, there’s that. I think I’m going out with my friends tomorrow, we’ll see how that goes.

Today’s light I’d like to send to Opal. He’s a really nice guy and is in a not the best situation right now, which causes him to hurt. I like him a lot, as a friend, but nevertheless I want him to be happy. I hope all the guys are having fun right now.

And you, have an amazing night.

Love,

C