i started seeing this guy and I’m known to be a serial-monogamist so I’m terrified I’m just gonna build up his character and fall in love with him. he’s also a decent dude? kinda. he’s sweet but i don’t want to fall in love with him and i don’t want to be a dick either. i don’t want to end this either! i just wanna go slow. i think i can do that? i barely see him too :( but i like that he’s busy! it’s just with that absent time i can just build him up. if we actually date i fear i may acquire real feelings for him. i’ve always wanted to be his friend at least so there’s that but I’m always scared of other people’s intentions thinking I’m gonna get fucked over for caring but people prove their earnestness time and time again and we have to each other. every time we’re together he’s brought up sex and we’ve gotten close, building up each time until we were actually close enough to but tears were a part of that process. (don’t fall in love with him.) i’ve only seen him four times over three months (beach, lot, cruise, park). i don’t like texting so we don’t talk much which is good. don’t fall in love with him. he said sweet things. he thinks of me—I’m cool, funny, reasonable, have good ideas, and the sex is good. he’s happy to see me. he held me while i cried (he caused it). i can’t tell if he’s just telling me what he thinks i want to hear. or if i just want to like what he says. it’s fair. at most what he said is fair. it doesn’t feel like he’s lying. but he’s a scorpio there’s definitely more to what he’s sharing, that’s fair though! he’s not my boyfriend he doesn’t have to tell me his life and he tells me enough that it makes sense. i don’t think he’s outright lying. and that’s okay. i’ve read his birth chart. he’s a good guy on paper. and realistically sure yeah he’s rough (not dangerous “rough,” more like dumb), but he’s pretty smart. he’s just some dude. but he’s sweet. but he’s a dude. i just think he’s gonna disappoint me.