Congratulations | 2jae
📝 summary : “Congratulations, you’ll never come back to me.”
📝 pairing : Jaebum, Youngjae (GOT7)
📝 genre : angst
📝 word count : 1k
📝 notes : uhm, ik a lot of people dont like first pov but i wrote it in first pov because it gives more emotions so yeah, enjoy :)
➢ 2
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Chapter 1 : Why
It’s been 3 months since you’ve left me hanging on the phone. I was completely bewildered. Winter was always so warm with you, but ever since you left, it was cold, freezing even. You always knew what’s best for me, you were the one who convinces me to rest when you think I’m working too hard, you put up with my shit a lot, especially when I accidentally yell at you after going home from work and took my stress out on you. Yet you were still there for me.
I miss your cuddles, it made me warmer even at the coldest winter. I miss your scent, your sweet kind-of strawberry smell when I sniff your head. I remember watching you argue with someone at the grocery store for that specific shampoo, you literally scared the shit out of that poor kid.
I miss the cute little faces you make, mainly the one you make when you’re frustrated. The pout you make adds to your cuteness. I miss kissing your moles, I’ve always love the giggles you make when I kiss them every morning when you wake up.
I miss your smile. They always make my insides warm in a comforting way, I would kill anyone just to see you smile. I miss everything about you. After I met you, my life seemed complete. You were the last missing piece I needed to complete my puzzle. But more importantly, I miss you.
It hurts when I think- no, know, that you’re never coming back.
I’ve always wondered where we went wrong. I thought we were going to last forever, I mean, even your parents loved me, but I guess I was the only one who thought of that. Pathetic.
I wish you could’ve explained why you just suddenly left me like that. One explanation could’ve sufficed, but you didn’t. Now I’m here like a fool waiting for you incase you ever come back.. will you?
If I ever have a chance to see you again, the first thing I would ask is why. Why did you leave? Why didn’t you answer my calls? Why did you have to disappear out of my life that night? Why? I have so many questions but so little- to no answers.
I could’ve been cuddling with you right now, having you right in my arms where I want you to be. I’ve always love the numerous times you would fall asleep on me, and that I’d have to carry you to our bed.
I love covering you with thick blankets and wrap my arms around you like a you’re little baby who needs protection. I love calling you cute nicknames, especially sunshine. You made my life brighter. I don’t think I even need to go outside anymore since you alone shine so brightly.
I love the nicknames that you call me. ‘Bummie’, that was my favorite one. I love your cute eye smile, just seeing it makes my day a hundred times better. I love taking care of you when you’re sick, even though you sometimes puke on me and boss me around, but by the end of the day, I would still love you, smothering you with kisses causing me to get sick the next day and you taking care of me.
I love the way you steal my hoodies and wear them, they would look so adorably cute on you since it was too big that it makes me want to pinch your cheeks and kiss it when it gets pink from embarrassment.
I love you. I’ve always known you love me too, but ever since that night, I’ve been wondering. Did you really love me?
Let’s take a break, you said. Let’s think about it, you said. What was there to think about? Why take a break? Those words of yours haunted me every single day and night. You don’t know how much sleepless nights I had thinking about you.
Whenever I try to eat, I ended up throwing up. Your homemade meals were so much better. Eating with you is so much better. I barely go outside anymore. Coming home from my job being greeted by silence made me even more depressed. Work became too stressful that I quit. I’m jobless, and without you, I’m lifeless.
Jackson came by sometimes, trying to cheer me up. It never worked. All I can think about is you. But of course I would fake a smile here and there but I’ve never really smiled after you left. How can I smile when you were the reason I smile every single day?
Jinyoung would also come a few times, since we’ve known each other longer, he could tell I was faking it. My smile, my bitter laugh, and almost every emotion I have. It’s sad. He forced me to go out. The sun that was shining so scintillating reminded me of you, you always shone brighter.
Jinyoung took me to the park. Little did he know that was where we first met. It was considerate of him to try to comfort me to get over you.. but I can’t. Your face that was oh so mesmerizing haunted me and caused me anguish. I can’t cure my disease that is to love you. Never. No matter how much it aches, I can never erase you out of my memory. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. And I broke down. I cried like a little kid who lost their toy, but for me, I lost you. I lost the love of my life.
When I was done weeping and went home, I thank Jinyoung for taking care of me and told him not to worry about me. It’s always nice to know that someone is still there for you. But, its not the same if its not the one you want.. not the one you longed for.
My other friends would still stay in contact with me and would give me little hope. They told me to get over you and find someone else. I tried considering it, but my heart would clench at the thought of cheating on you even though we broke up.. Did we really break up? I’m not so sure anymore. You’re like an enigma that can’t be deciphered.
They told me I could live without you. But you were my sun, and I was your moon. And without the sun, how can the moon function? Without you, how can I function?
Without you, how can I live?
