#2ruin

[infinit8worlds]

✦ : your portrayal of both conrad and belly blow my mind ! you really dig deep into their emotions in every piece of writing you send to me and i admire the fact that you can write in first person. i've tried and i just can't... make it work ! but you write in first person so flawlessly and somehow the emotions feel so much stronger reading it in first ??? you are honestly such a talent and i am so honored to be able to write with you. i'm in the trenches rn, writing your reply to belly from jere !! I ADORE U SM PERAL AND I CAN'T WAIT TO EXPLORE MORE DYNAMICS WITH YOU !

JINX EXCUSE ME??????????????????? HOW DARE YOU???? how dare you come into my inbox and say such beautiful things and make me cry AT WORK?????

no but really, your words mean the absolute world to me, so thank you. knowing that you love the way i write both belly and conrad and the way i do the first person, it means everything to me. because belly is so important to me and i really want to be able to do her justice. and lets not start with YOUR WRITING??? because it's flawless and i admire you sm. the way you also write belly and all of your characters, it feels so natural and i can see how each and every one of them mean so much to you. i'm so grateful that we get to write together and that we're also friends. i love our conversations on discord and even if you're a boston fan, i can forgive you for that 😄 you mean a lot to me and i'm so so SO EXCITED for our bellyjere and everything else that we're about to create together!!!!!

[infinit8worlds]

They say time heals. They’re wrong.” / taylor jewel to belly conklin.

the salty air feels cool against my skin as i lean back on the porch railing. the ocean stretches out in front of us, but my mind isn’t on the view. it’s stuck on taylor’s words: they say time time heals all wounds. they’re wrong.

i stare at her, those words echoing in my head. she’s right, i know she is. time doesn’t heal anything. it doesn’t heal the way my heart still skips a beat when i see conrad, how his face can still make my chest tighten with something i can’t even name. the ache doesn’t fade. it just stays, quietly there, like a shadow. sometimes, i think i could forget, but then something reminds me of him, and everything comes rushing back. but hearing taylor say it... it almost makes it worse. like she’s calling out the truth i’ve been trying to avoid. that time doesn’t fix anything. It just makes you learn to live with it. and then, a thought flickers through my mind. why is she so sure about this? i mean, why is she so convinced that time doesn’t fix wounds? is she speaking from experience? i turn to look at her more closely, and there’s something in her expression, something like she’s carrying around a weight she’s not saying. she’s been acting different lately. quieter. more distant. and i can’t help but wonder… is she trying to convince me, or is she convincing herself? ❛❛ why do you think that, though? are you trying to tell me that time’s really not going to fix everything, or are you just convincing yourself? ❜❜

the words slip out before i can stop them. maybe i shouldn’t have said it. maybe it’s too much. but something about taylor’s whole vibe lately — her way of deflecting, of acting like nothing’s wrong — has me questioning what she’s really hiding. i watch her closely, waiting for her reaction. i think about how she’s always kept things inside, always tried to act like she’s fine when i know she’s not. and right now, i can’t help but feel like this isn’t just about me and conrad. there’s something else going on. something to do with steven. i bite my lip, trying to keep my gaze steady. i don’t know why i’m suddenly so sure, but i am. maybe it’s the way taylor’s been acting, like there’s a part of her she’s not ready to face. and i can feel it — she’s pushing something down. i look away, feeling the weight of everything between us, everything i haven’t said. part of me wants to back off, but another part of me can’t ignore it. maybe it’s not just about time, not just about conrad. maybe taylor’s been trying to bury her own feelings.

and maybe that’s something we’ll never talk about.

[infinit8worlds]

2ruin asked: Promise me one thing—don’t pretend this was nothing. / from jeremiah fisher to belly conklin.

i can feel my hands trembling even though i’m trying so hard to steady them. the dress is heavy, the veil scratching at my neck, and every sound — the chatter of the guests, the faint music in the background — feels like it’s coming from another world. because this world, this moment, should be him. conrad. and it’s not. it’s jeremiah. and i’m supposed to be happy, and i am, but… not in the way i thought i would be. i keep seeing him — conrad — in my mind. the way his eyes used to find mine without trying. the way he could make me laugh when nothing else could. and yes, part of me will always love him a little. a little piece of my heart will always belong to him, no matter how much i try to shove it down. but that’s not the same as choosing him. choosing him would mean throwing away what i have with jeremiah. choosing him would mean ignoring the way my heart beats faster when i see jere smile, the way his hands feel in mine, the way he makes me feel like i belong, truly and completely.

i swallow hard, forcing down the panic that rises in my chest. i have to tell him — jere — everything. he deserves the truth. he deserves to know that i’ve been honest about conrad, honest about my heart, honest about where i want to be. ❝ nothing happened with conrad, ❞ i whisper to myself, the words barely leaving my lips. ❝ not at christmas. not ever. not since it's been you and me together. ❞ even saying it makes my throat tighten, because it feels like i’m defending myself against ghosts he’ll never meet. but it’s true. and it has to be true. because my heart is here. with him. even if a part of me aches for what could have been with someone else, the bigger, braver part of me knows that choosing jeremiah is choosing real love. choosing the person who sees me, who loves me, who fights for me. I love conrad, yes — but i need jere. i need him more than i’ve ever needed anyone.

promise me one thing — don’t pretend this was nothing, he says, his voice low, almost breaking. my chest tightens, and for a second i can’t breathe. how could i ever pretend? every memory of him — the laughter, the late-night talks, the way he made me feel like i mattered more than anything — it’s all stitched into me. i take a shaky breath, trying to find the right words. ❝ i could never pretend, jere, ❞ i whisper, my voice trembling. ❝ it wasn’t nothing. it could never be nothing. it’s every bit of me, every moment we ever had, and it always will be. everything i’ve ever felt for conrad, it could never compare to what i feel for you. ❞ i pause, letting the words hang between us, hoping he can feel the truth behind them. ❝ i love you, jere. i always have. ❞ the words spill out before i can stop them, raw and trembling. ❝ and yes, conrad will always be a part of me. a little piece of my heart will always belong to him — but the rest of me, the part that matters, that’s yours. that’s the part i’m choosing. you. i want us. i need us. and i can't be without you, i don't know where i end and you begin. ❞ i take a shaky breath and hold his hands in mine, like holding on will somehow make it real. ❝ please… please don’t think i’m pretending. please don’t think i’ve forgotten what we had, what we are. but I’m here, jere. i’m here, and i’m choosing you. today. tomorrow. always. ❞

[buckley-halztead]

SC.   ── neon  signs  glistened  against  the  freshly  waxed  countertop  of  the  bar  table  they'd  all  but  invaded  for  the  night.  molly's  was  dead.  a  couple  of  regulars  had  shown  up,  a  few  members  of  truck  lingered,  +  he  was  sure  kev  was  still  around  ...   somewhere.  maybe.  he  hadn't  seen  him  in  a  few.  truth  be  told,  he  hadn't  seen  anyone  in  a  few  because  his  gaze  had  been  dead  set  on  the  woman  in  front  of  him.

hailey  upton  (  @2ruin  )  was  no  one  to  play  with.  he  wished  he  would've  known  that  before  he  sat  down  across  from  her  with  a  half  shuffled  deck  of  cards  in  his  hands,  but  it  was  more  of  a  learn  along  the  way  kind  of  night.  besides  ...  he  was  already  three  rounds  of  bullshit  too  deep  to  seriously  consider  quitting.   ❛  yeah,  y'know  what  ?  ❜  there  wasn't  a  part  of  him  confident  enough  to  be  as  cocky  as  he  was,  but  if  there  was  one  thing  he  was  good  at  it  was  pretending.  fist  met  hand  as  a  toothy  grin  entered  the  conversation,  tongue  clicking  in  feigned  disappointment.  ❛  i  think  you're  full  of  crap.  bullshit.  ❜

[gareis]

her aroma turned sweet, the fragrance of blood pooling just beneath the surface of the young woman's bruising knees, terrifies matthew to no end. thankfully the girl's skin hadn't broken, precious flesh cushioned by the green droves of THE KNOLL & THE GRASS that covers it, thus providing him with the much needed ability to maintain a grasp on his (at times) threadbare sanity.

if not for this, mattie might have leapt at the first drop of her blood ... shedding what minuscule fractals of humanity he has left, to trade them for the vampirism that wishes to devour HIS PRECIOUS SOUL.

having not come to that, of course, the young vampire instead offers a hand to the fallen woman out of a mortal kindness that has not yet left him, not so swiftly driven out of the young man as it has been in many others of his kind, turned long before him.

" are you okay? " concern is subtle, quiet, but most certainly there. his eyes, though portraying a certain level of discomfort, do not aim the fault on the human... but instead leave the stranger to question and wonder what truly causes it, to leave his blackened eyes so haunted.

closed starter, as written for @2ruin's : belly conklin ! like for your own starter, here.

[salvatoraes]

dawson’s creek ! 🛶

send me series and I’ll tell you my, no longer accepting.

favorite character : joey potter you will always be loved by me !!!!!

second favorite character : ooo it's a tie between pacey & jack, i relate so much to jack and i love him dearly but pacey is PACEY, ya know ??

least favorite character : ugh it has to be drue, he was insufferable as was abby. rip abby or whatever.....

the character I’m most like : like i said above, jack !!! i see myself in him so much, that's my beloved <3

favorite pairing ( s ) : of course pacey & joey, but listen ... i was a fan of joey & eddie as well as pacey & andie & pacey & audrey. and people might hate this ( idk who people are but sh ) but i loved dawson & gretchen tbh.

least favorite pairing : it's not that i hated them but jack & toby were an odd pairing to me, and do i even have to say pacey & tamara ..... shivers. i can't really think of any that i was like heavily against ?

favorite moment : there's so many but when pacey got joey the wall, that's a great moment ! as well as the ask me to stay scene man....

rating out of 10 : honestly 10 / 10, dawson's creek is such a good show !!!

[infinit8worlds]

@2ruin asked: we both know this is over to conrad from belly

conrad knew the moment she said it. the moment her voice thinned, like she was bracing for impact. we both know this is over. the words didn’t surprise him — not really — but they still hit with the force of something he’d spent months pretending he wasn’t afraid of. he stood perfectly still, the way he always did when the ground shifted under him. he didn’t trust himself to move, not when he could feel everything inside him starting to fracture. there was a part of him, the quietest part, that had believed he could outrun this. that wanting her, loving her, holding her that summer, had to count for something. but wanting had never been enough for him — not with anything, not with her. he could feel the apology rising in his chest, the instinct to say you’re right, i ruined it, i ruin everything, but he swallowed it. he didn’t want her remembering him like that — desperate, unraveling, clinging to something she’d already let go of.

and still, god, it hurt. it hurt in that familiar way, the way he’d learned to breathe around her ever since he was a kid — quietly, privately, like pain was something you handled alone. he looked at her, and it was almost unbearable. because he could see it in her eyes: she’d already stepped away from him in her mind. she was saying goodbye from a distance he couldn’t close anymore. and for the first time, conrad realized he wasn’t losing her. he’d already lost her. he exhaled once, barely, like he was steadying himself before stepping off something high. ❛❛ …okay. ❜❜ the word came out thin, almost weightless. he nodded, eyes fixed somewhere over her shoulder because looking at her felt impossible. ❛❛ if you’re saying it’s over, then… ❜❜ he swallowed, his voice catching. ❛❛ i won’t fight you on it. i don’t want to make this harder. ❜❜ he dragged a hand through his hair, something he did when he didn’t know where to put the hurt. ❛❛ but don’t say we both know. ❜❜ he finally looks at her then — just for a second — and it’s raw, unguarded. ❛❛ that part’s not true. i didn’t know. ❜❜

he tries to shift his weight, tries to find some kind of footing, but there isn’t any. ❛❛ maybe i should have. maybe i should’ve seen it coming. ❜❜ a strained breath. ❛❛ but i didn’t. i still… i still thought there was something worth holding onto. ❜❜ his voice softens, breaks just a little around the edges. ❛❛ if you’re done, i’ll let you go. i will. i just… don’t ask me to pretend i ever wanted this. don’t think it’s because i don’t care. it’s because you stopped believing i could be someone worth staying for. ❜❜ he steps back, not because he wants to but because it’s the only thing he can do without falling apart right in front of her. and that’s the part that breaks him. not losing her — believing she’d already decided he wasn’t worth the fight.

[vmprre]

"don’t   make   me   regret   this." / from elena.

he  kept  his  distance  for  so  long.  remained  still,  hidden  in  the  darkness.  he  only  came  back  for  justice,  to  get  the  revenge  he  deserved.  A  PROMISE  WAS  MADE, decades  ago.  more  like  a  vow,  one  damon  intended  to  keep  no  matter  the  cost.  but  things  took  a  different  turn,  and  instead  of  making  stefan’s  life  a  living  hell,  damon  ended  up  wanting  to  save  him.  THE  SALVATORE  BROTHERS  MAY  FIGHT  LIKE  DOGS  BUT  IN  THE  END,  THEY  WOULD  DIE  FOR  EACH  OTHER.  nothing  but  the  truth.  it’s  a  quietly  suffocating  thing, carrying  this  responsibility.  a  tragedy,  still.  but  it’s  his  family,  and  he  couldn’t  walk  away,  no  matter  how  badly  the  monster  inside  him  wanted  to.  ‘’oh,  i’ll  definitely  make  you  regret  it.’’  he  replies  back  instantly,  dark  smile  following  through.  he  moves  closer,  slow  and  measured,  eyes  fixated  on  her.  her  heartbeat  whispered  through  the  silence:  steady,  delicate,  stirring  something  dark  and  inquisitive  in  him.  ‘’so  what’s  it  gonna  be,  gilbert?  you  want  my  help  or  not?’’