#2ww problems

[simplylostblog]

Same Troubles All Over Again

I was absolutely sure that I have made my peace with not being able to conceive. I was relaxed and sort of happy this month. The year has passed and it felt obvious that we are not going to get the happy experience of being parents. During most of this month I was able to put any thoughts about the possible pregnancy behind me, and then the last few days came. I'm on my 11 DPO and I am feeling vulnerable and depressed. All the signs point to nothing again, and I just have to vent those feelings somewhere. They are the same old feelings I got every month for the past year, but I simply don't have anything else to say, and I don't have anyone to tell this too. This is just so excruciatingly painful and sad.

How do I get over this?

[simplylostblog]

Year One

This month marks our first year of trying to get pregnant. I am entering my 12th two week wait. The whole story stopped being exciting some time ago. I don't have much expectations for this month (that still doesn't mean I am not secretly hoping it will work...) but the past year taught me that it's not going to be that easy (if it happens at all). 

This is not a very good month for us, financially... And this week's weather showed us once again that the apartment we're currently living in is very poorly done. I don't know how all of that will affect our chances. 

I think I would be far more depressed and sad if I wasn't working out. I've been doing it for about three months now, regularly, so I think it's starting to become a good habit. But with everything it's becoming harder to keep a smile on my face and be genuinely happy. I know my happiness shouldn't depend on outside circumstances but that's easier said than done. I really don't like to be the person that constantly complains and does nothing about the whole situation. Maybe I should try writing the blog entries when I'm happier or cheerful or something, but then it's difficult to sit down and write.