Discover Top Posts Tagged with #3:38pm

يومًا ما ستجدُ سفننا الضائعة مرفئً دافً تأوي إليه.

Why i’m so emotional!

I hate it, i hate my vulnerability, how i can cry so fuckin easy without any efforts, every time i keep telling myself it’s fine we’re strong, no one knows how much you’re fragile but deep down inside i hate it, i wish i was stronger tougher somenone who doesn’t care about what people do or say, i want the old version of me, a year ago i was obsessed by myself, no distractions just me dealing with my shit but here we’re one year later i fell in love, oh hallelujah what a blessing, back to it a weak bitch who cares about every single detail & expects the same love, care and passion she gives, why i am like that!

#18/8/2024 #3:38PM

Muchas gracias por seguirme.

Me hacen sentir menos invisible.

Los quiero aunque no los conosca.

Aunque deberían preguntarme algo, me gusta interactuar con las personas, no tengan miedo.

Un abrazo y un buen agarron de nalga.

Winter❄💙

#gracias #gracias seguidores #los quiero #puro amor #un invierno eterno #3:38pm #24/09/17 #agredecida #feliz

ما العناق إلاَّ سكينة، يلوذ بها القلب فراراً من مجريات الحياة.

#بقلمي #قلمي #عناق #3:38pm

Anxious thoughts lately

Pondering my thoughts and actions lately, I can say I am slowly becoming toxic towards Stephen. I am slowly sabotaging our relationship. I don't want to go that way because Stephen is a good guy; he is a nice guy, and I love him.

In one instance, I thought he didn't want to videochat with me. So what I did was tell him I'd stay distant and detach myself from him. The next day, I did not talk to him the whole day and restricted him on messenger. I deleted him from my Instagram's bio and archived all our photos and highlights. I removed our messenger's nickname and theme. All at once. Toxic, I know :( I didn't know that silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse and isn't healthy. Despite that, Stephen still sent me constant updates on how his day went and sent photos of their Christmas party. Eventually, we became okay afterwards.

Another thing I noticed about myself is that I am so sensitive and would easily get hurt and annoyed with whatever Stephen would say. For example, he said something that was supposed to be a joke. But I took it seriously, and that caused another fight. which, in the first place, should not happen.

I also find myself overthinking and looking at his social media, who he was following on instagram and his reactors on facebook. I am slowly becoming the 'Toxic Girlfriend' And I don't want that. I want the chill gf Mimah. I think staying at home whole day whole night with nothing to do gives me a lot of time to overthink and it's not healthy. I read some posts on reddit and how people said that this is a toxic behavior and their partners should run from someone like this. I wanna change. Change for the good and for the better. I wanna claim my life back. I wanna be busy again. I don't want my world to revolve about Stephen.

I also happened to see a video from tiktok about anxious attachment, and I think I have this type of attachment now :(

I can relate to Very clingy, negative self-view (I think I had this when I failed my board exam), emotional sensitive, tends to OVERANALYZE.

I really don't know when did this start. Was it from my past relationships? Was it from my childhood? huhu. Should I seek professional treatment? And another thing that I noticed is I'm starting to be a controlling girlfriend. I won't really write everything here but I'm starting to become one. I don't wanna ruin a marvelous and loving relationship with my anxiety and overthinking. Huhuhu help

#dec30 #3:38pm

Hi! I need a space for my overwhelming thoughts.

I don't really know what to do with my life. I feel like a failure. I am crying right now as I am typing.

Where I am right now, it's really dark. I feel like I've been left behind in life. It's been a month and 8 days already since the day of our board exam results, which sadly I did not ace. I thought it'd get better. But here I am—sulking, crying, self-doubting, self-pitying, wanting to isolate myself from the rest of the world. Social media doesn't help, especially looking at all of my friends reaching their MD dreams. I'm happy for them, really. I just can't help but pity myself. Huhuhu, I know, I know. I know you'll say that we each have different timelines. I know you'll say that I'll have my own time and that one day I'll get my MD too. But right now, I'm just sad. Just sad.

Everybody else is getting their license, moonlighting, or going into residency. While here, I am killing my time with Netflix, Facebook, and mobile legends. Sleeping the whole day and the whole night, sulking, crying... Am I going down the pit hole of depression? :( I can't tell anyone how I am feeling. I can't drag anyone to my depression hole. I can't poison other people's lives. I don't want to bother and burden them. I can't tell Stephen how I am feeling lately. I don't want to burden him with my negative thoughts.

So here I am.. writing down all my thoughts here. I don't know if I should go to therapy, but I don't have funds too.

Sad. Failing at life. Broke. Alone. Hayysss :(

2023, you were too much for me.

#Dec 18 #3:38pm

I hit my the upper left side of my right knee while trying to escape my table. It wasn’t too bad though, might not bruise and it didn’t hit the other two existing bruises.

#9/27/2022 #3:38pm