Mar 20, 2018
I caved and decided to watch Polyamory: Married & Dating. Less than a minute in, Showtime has made it very clear that this show is going to be mostly about sex and I am not happy about it.
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I caved and decided to watch Polyamory: Married & Dating. Less than a minute in, Showtime has made it very clear that this show is going to be mostly about sex and I am not happy about it.
Who’s on the Buddy List today?
Shrek!
I am having so many feels right now.
I went down the rabbit hole by googling polyamorous sized beds. Having enough room for 3+ people in one bed is something that I’ve struggled with in the past so I was curious to know what worked for other people. Triads tend to be good with a king sized mattress. Quads+ talked about pushing multiple mattresses together.
Anyhoo, while on this jaunt I discovered something on YouTube that I feel really conflicted about. There’s a show on Show Time called Polyamory. From what I can tell, it follows a triad in which two of the three are married, and a quad (I think each hetero set is married). I was only able to watch brief clips and trailers for the show, so my judgements aren’t well educated.
The clip I saw for the first episode was SO FUCKING CUTE. Never in my life have I seen a triad greet each other on TV. They hugged and kissed and just…. My heart was so happy. I didn’t realize just how much I need that. I need to see polyamory normalized that way. I’ve very rarely witenessed affection between a triad that I wasn’t involved in.
On the flip side, it’s a reality show, which makes for a lot of synthetic drama. And the quad seems to have a lot of drama. Honestly though, I don’t know how much judgement I can pass on them. At one point they mentioned having 10 other partners outside of the quad that they each love and I just can’t imagine having the time for that many people.
The other thing that bugged me was the hypersexuality of the quad. I will be the first one to tell that I’m very proud of my sexuality and kinks. I’m just concerned that the show is geared toward monogamous people who’ve never heard of poly and just want to criticize and be entertained by the shock factor of something so drastically different from everything they’ve ever known. I can already hear the disgusted voice of my conservative mother ringing through my mind.
Lastly, I’ve only ever known poly people from faire and BDSM. So, lots of leather, kink, and hippie aesthetic. These people do not look like they fall into those stereotypes at all. They seem to have nice clothes and houses and jobs. It’s a completely different vibe than I’ve seen before in a polycule.
I don't ever remember being nauseous from a headache/migraine before today. This one is pretty bad. I'm sick of having to lay down and not do anything because of headaches. I've got too much on my plate for this to hold me back. So I called the doctor and left a message asking if I should come in. They'll probably tell me yes. Yay.
I just realized that I have over 500 followers that aren't porn blogs, and I'm kinda just like... why?
52 Followers!
Hi everyone! I probably would’ve reached this a while sooner because I block all non-ed blogs (it just doesn’t feel right to me) and at least half of my follows are porn blogs lol. I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who read along my journey. You all make me feel a little less alone. I know all of you are suffering with disordered eating in one capacity or another, so I pray (hope? not sure I’m not religious) all of you find peace and eventually the strength to overcome this. I think of you with every post I write, and just know that my inbox is always open to talk about whatever you’re up to.
3.20.2018
My lowest weight this time round!! My lowest weight in years!! 173.0 lbs!!! Last night, I tried some shorts on that didn’t fit when I bought them years ago. They fit now! A bit snugger than I’d like, but I plan on am losing a lot more weight by summer so I don’t have to worry about that. Today is a snow day & I’m stuck inside with junk food all day. I’m hoping I can keep eating to a minimum and maintain my weight rather than gain.
Someone please turn off the sun so my head doesn't hurt as much, please and thank you.