Question # 181
If you could have a clone to help you out when life gets busy, would you want one?
If I could have clone for when life gets busy I think I definitely would want. It would be excellent if I could have a clone of me to do things I don't want to do like laundry, clean dishes and run errands or even go to work for me. I think I might be a bit bored and that might bring up some of my control issues but I think largely it would be very helpful for me. I could get more sleep, possibly learn to relax a bit, spend more time with my daughter and or even possibly get a break, go on a date with my husband. I could probably use the time to think or even just be. I think about how my days start and how they end and they are so packed with things.
I wake up as early as I can, I have shower and get ready for the day, pump breast milk, make my coffee, start breakfast for susu and me. Get her up, feed her, clean her up, clean the kitchen and the house, start any laundry that needs to get done, check methodist at work, work on any outstanding things at work, answer phone calls, set up Suhalie's toy stations, turn on Miss Rachel or Bluey so she's occupied, Get susu ready for the day, water my plants, pump again and put the milk away and get her down for a nap, which lately she seems not apt to take at all, get her up and change her in between all of this, give her snack time snacks, clean up the area and her, send her back to the toys, find time to connect with her throughout the day, eat something for lunch, clean that up, then think about dinner. ETC ETC ETC.
The idea of not being as efficient as I am all the time is terrifying. Its scary to think about how things will get done and learning to embrace the chaos that in all likelihood might teach the people around me to be more self sufficient. Will there be a learning curve and some annoyance? For sure? I'm a first born daughter who was basically bred to be a caregiver. Giving up that role is probably one of my final bosses. But as my husband cleans up lunch and puts out the toy station after lunch. This journal is a reminder that others cannot step up and show up for me if I don't create space for it. I'm not saying I do it all the time. But I am proud of myself for letting people show up for me.
