Undiagnosed DID system.
I tried to convince myself it was OSDD but I’ve got too much missing time, and too many instances of people telling me things I don’t remember doing for it to be anything else.
We have 9 known members. 4 active, 2 integrated, 3 dormant (one of which i haven’t met yet but Lu and Aki say he exists and have prompted me through some piccrews to give me an idea of his appearance but no connection has been made yet so 🤷♀️.
I always felt like there was “more than one s-ul in our body” and considered MPD (and several supernatural options) as a teen feeling like i had a revolving door in my head. I ultimately avoided the subject due to religious upbringing making me paranoid my headmates were demons and eventually tried shutting everyone out. All but Lu gradually stopped communicating with me, when Lu started to lose interest, it felt *very wrong* and I panicked.
Finally, realized I was raised in a cult in 2018 (body age: 28) and and dropped the beliefs; Aurin and Kitai integrated as a result; I never got to meet them properly. Lu wasn’t as disturbed as she never believed in it. Aki came back 10/30/19 and seems to be adjusting well to the changes.
Uh, I shared clips of what we built of our inner world on the system map question (10) but they're not even up to date with the fire pit addition... Guess I still have no idea how to system map.
Anyway, updated pics since we finally added to the SecondLife build earlier today... minus the hall, behind the vaguely transparent door beside the tv (which may even be wrong, i just know it goes into a hallway...) which I dont wanna build right now... haven't saved this to the rezzbox yet and i already wanna log off. <_<
Door and window on the left leads outside (Lu uses the...rafter? to get to and sit in the window). Dont know where the upstairs door on the right goes, or if there's anything above the hallway. The couches were just ones I had in my inventory that were closest in color, not the same shape but bleh. I think theres a coffee table but i cant see past the couches to know what kind... maybe glass...
It’s always nighttime and surrounded by forest. There's a bit of a clearing outside the door with small pine trees lining the walls (at least in the areas I can see).
Well i doubt they stop to bounce information off headmates before making biggish decisions and/or answering PoV questions. Otherwise, no idea but it sounds like it’d be way too consistently quiet.
Persecutors: I... might be the closest thing to a persecutor in our system most recently (2 years ago i was trying to suppress tf out of everyone in the system which effectively turned me into an anxious husk once Lu started to retreat where i couldn't reach her.
In highschool, I thought there were “others” trying to get me whom Piper “was a herald for,” but we haven't seen him since he tried to take control of Lu and she... returned the favor? making him malleable till he sorta vanished? so I assume he’s dormant ...or a projection from doomsday cult paranoia? that fizzled out cause Lu went full mama bear and gave me some sort of safe feeling? Idfk. I only remember what he did cause i drew it.
Protectors: I feel like they all are protectors of some kind but;
Luna has been around forever and she’s got a Mama Lu side that will switch in sometimes under circumstances I’m not sure of. She’s usually a social, appearance conscience part and I’ve let her take over hygiene and bedroom stuff which has made that a bit easier.
Kel controls the autopilot and inner caretaking shit I think? Used to need her to restrain Lu when Lu was more emotionally volatile.
Met our partner system in high school. I used to assume he was just humoring Lu cause he met her within the first year of us dating... Partner.sys host and I both forget how it was brought up exactly but it probably had something to do with my not bothering to hide it on my DeviantArt account.
Idefk man. I’m just tired and wish it was easier to bring up to people who’ve grown closer to the others in the system so they can talk to the people without using me and my identity as a filter.
...I need another prompt list now...
💙 Shel
That ^
I wanna talk to people but they think im just an OC. Breaking it to people that “hey im actually another entity playing this oc self insert and have separate opinions an shit than ya boi here”
I cant remember it having bad results but it’s still fuckin scary.
We used to do stuff on SecondLife but we put too much work into a sim, didn’t quit when we shoulda and burnt out hardcore. Havent really been able to focus on anything since and can neither bring ourselves to interact with others or even be on much anymore.
