#33:47

[glimmerofawesome]

[pernillemagda]

[glimmerofawesome]

[glimmerofawesome]

[mellypea77]

I did it!!!! Swam my 1st full 1000m today.

[lookingglasswars]

closure.

after two nights in a row of just feeling miserable as fuck [especially last night when i was a hot drunken &vomiting mess in heels]...well, i did what i know best. 

i cut him out of my life. no more facebook, aim, phone number. nothing, nada, zilch.

i know i go through this pattern where if i get hurt by a guy, i get in a "fuck it, just get out of my life" mode. but i actually thought this one through. he didn't anticipate being good friends after he graduated. i never saw our friendship extending beyond that. if i tried to continue being friends with him until the school year ended, i'd just be miserable for another month. because i like him, and he can't seem to grasp that. it's dumb.

i actually tried ending this one on good terms. we talked on the phone. in the beginning, i was pretty reserved &i guess he could tell. "you don't sound like you did a couple weeks ago". but i eased up a little bit. i mean, it's hard not to when apparently, he thought i liked his friend all along...haha, how clueless can a person be?

but yea, pretty ok overall for what could possibly be the last phone conversation we ever have. and this is the last that esteezy will be mentioned on here for a while. 

muchlove.