[ 251115 ] as i sit here and reflect on the last four years, i realize that this journey started much earlier. because the days and nights leading up to three tangerines’ first posting are just as important, and new year’s eve 2021 is when the idea came to be in the first place.
these past four plus years have been some of the greatest of my entire life. and it’s not just because of this blog, but because of all of you, whether we’ve spoken here, off of tumblr, or even in real life with real hugs and real tears.
and i cannot thank you all enough. even the ones that have left, or turned away, i still cherish every single relationship i’ve had because of three little tangerines. you all mean the world to me. forever.
recently, someone asked me what i would tell my younger self before she went on this adventure, what i would tell her before she even posted 3tan.
and to that girl, i would say this: stay true to yourself, think back to that balcony, and everything will work out. be there for yourself, be kind to yourself, and stand up for yourself even if it’s hard. thank the ones that come, be okay when people go, and find friends that will be with you no matter what.
because things will not always be bright, the highest highs will come hand in hand with the lowest lows. there will be ten thousand smiles and a hundred thousand tears. with time, you’ll feel more and more alone, and there will be nights your pillow will be damp well until morning.
but you aren’t alone at all. because there will be many, many people there for you, even if you don’t know it. people will tell you how your writing has made them feel, you’ll meet people that have turned their lives around because of a man named 3tan yoongi. people will love you before they leave you, others will fight for your happiness as much as theirs. there will even be people that can’t look at fireworks the same anymore, and you’ll both have a good cry before watching them light the sky.
appreciate and acknowledge every single soul.
and above all, you’re creating and sharing this story as a love letter to anyone that finds and needs it. you’re handing over pieces of your heart one by one, tear-stained and bruised but real and beating beating beating despite everything that it has endured.
so never, ever, ever give up. because your readers—the real ones—will wait for you. but also give yourself grace whenever things seem bleak.
you’re going to go on the journey of a lifetime. and the spirit of yoongi himself will be intertwined with your words more than you could ever imagine.
here’s to four years. here’s to more 3tan yoongi.
peeling three tangerines just for you all tonight.
-ryen