#4.1.13

[ssdgames]

Rename this floor to enemyPlatform and make those two edge objects children of it in the hierarchy.

[lacyc3]

Kernel megjelenések: 3.10.93, 3.14.57, 4.1.13, 4.2.6

Greg Kroah-Hartman négy kernelt jelentett be:

3.10.93

3.14.57

4.1.13

4.2.6

Mindegyik sorozat használójának erősen ajánlott frissíteni.

Címkék: 

hírek

általános

megjelent

linux

kernel

3.10.93

3.14.57

4.1.13

4.2.6

3.10

3.14

4.1

4.2

[youcancallmeathief]

April 1, 2013 --> September 7, 2014.

Harry posted the picture of the first dog on Instagram on April 1, 2013, with the caption "Colin has a message."

Make of that what you will. I just wanted the pics together for comparison's sake.

EDIT: So apparently top left is Colin, who is pictured below in Gemma's Instagram from September 4, 2014. Apparently Colin is Ben Winston's dog? I saw some people saying that. But hmmmm, two similar dogs with similar human names, dare I say, would it be reaching to think maybe Bruce and Colin could be siblings?

[alexeis-journal]

4.1.13

The Monster

     There's a monster under my bed. Sometimes he'll scratch late at night.

     "That's nice," she told me. "Now close your eyes and go to sleep." She doesn't see him.

     I don't see him, either. Not face to face. But he's always here. I can feel him, standing right behind me or looming over my shoulder. Once, I saw him in the mirror, before he had a chance to hide.

     I don't like seeing him.

     He was scratching again last night. So much I could barely sleep. "Just close your eyes and go to sleep," She will tell me. She doesn't hear him.

     I can always hear him. He will talk to me, sometimes. When he's not hiding. His voice is quiet. Never mad; never yelling. He doesn’t need to yell--that would mean he wasn't in control. He is always in control. So he is quiet and calm, whispering unignorable truths in my ear. "You are nothing," he will say.

     His nails dragging across the floor keeps me awake. I felt them on my skin, clawing my flesh. "Stop, close your eyes, and go to sleep." She doesn't feel him.

     I wish I couldn't feel him. When his violent touch turns gentle. I think I like the scratching more, even if I can't sleep. I think I'm getting used to having him around.

     There was a girl today. I think she was trying to be nice. But the monster scared her away. His angry eyes and sharp nails. She didn't even see him coming, but neither did I. He's good at surprises and stays away from any sort of habit.

     I made myself a schedule. He hates it. Because I'm never home at night. I can feel him getting mad at me. His voice hissing in my eat. If I stay consistent, he'll get annoyed enough to leave.

     I don't think he's leaving. He isn't like that girl. He doesn't get scared.

     "Go to sleep. Close your eyes and go to sleep." She doesn't realize that I don't sleep. That I can't sleep. Why won't he leave?

     There was a new girl today. She didn't get scared, though. She had a monster too.

  * * *

       I don't know what I said, but she's laughing. I've never heard a sound like that. There have been cries and whines; yells and scorn; but never something so soft. I think I could live in a sound like that.

     But my monster cannot.

     He thrives where others would wilt. He is stronger than most. Sometimes I admire him. I want to be as strong as he is. I don't want to need to soft sound of her laugh.

     It was easier to ignore her and focus on him.

     I will talk back to my monster sometimes, when he whispers in my ear. Nothing he says reminds me of her voice. But I'll say "I believe you" anyway.

     And I do.

     Does her monster speak to her or has she learned to mute it? She has more control. She has more strength. When she came to me today, she tried to be kind.

     "Did you get sleep?" She would ask, and her smile lit up a room. I almost thought it would drive the monster away from both of us. I couldn't feel him breathing down my neck or whispering in my ear. I cannot see him in the mirror. I thought she really did scare him away--and it made me feel normal.

     And then I remembered: monsters don't get scared; they scare. So he did. I thought he was gone. I was wrong.

     She was too.

     "You're a good person" she used to say, "You're perfect."

     The monster laughed at her. He called her names. He hurt her. I could only watch. I was weak when he took over.

     "You're still a good person," She said. She confused me, but she didn't confuse him. "I still think you're perfect."

     I don't like the monster's laugh. I don't like the way he sounded when he hissed "I'll prove that wrong."

     The monster doesn't lie.

  * * *

       She doesn't call me good anymore. She doesn't call me anything. I think he broke her. The monster has never been good at fixing, but he's good at breaking. I think he's going to break me too. He keeps clawing, and without her it makes it harder to ignore him.

     I miss her voice, and her laugh. I miss her. But this is better. If she's gone, he can't hurt her more than he already has.

     But now he is mad at me. I don't like when he yells, but covering my ears doesn't shut him out, and no matter how tightly I close my eyes I always see him. I feel him in my skin. Because I lied. My monster does not hide from me .He does not follow me around. My monster was never gone, even if I pretended he was. None of that is true, because it's my voice in my head. It is my nails dragged across my chest and my hands that broke her--that broke everything. It is not someone else I see fleeing from my eyes in the mirror.

     I am the monster in the mirror, and I am not good.

     I will never change.

[365days-of-thoughts]

April 1, 2013

Munchkin days.

Legs. Footsies. Random looks. But it's not the same when someone else is on my mind. Someone who gives me butterflies and is definitely my type. He asked me if I was free on Sunday. I guess I'll be spending the day with him... I'll see where this goes...

[gfhockey]