#4.16.12

[lavenderkeem]

I love talking about the future with you.  I love waking up the next morning knowing we're still crazy in love with each other.  I love the feeling I get knowing I get to marry my best friend.

[lavenderkeem]

Why I love him.

He have never disrespect me.  Always does everything in his power to make me happy.  He cares for me. Teach me. Act like a fool just to make me laugh.  He changed me for the better.  He is my shoulder to cry on.  He listens.  He motivates me.  He loves me. 

[comatose-erection]

When I was little I would just cuddle with my mom for no reason; just because we could, just because I fit in the little space left on the sofa when it was us two. Despite the scoldings and the late homework sessions, we cuddled because she was my mom and I was her daughter.  Simple. That took care of my insecurities and my sadness. But now it's different. There's stress and arguments and differences and secrets and development of own opinions and those moments that used to be now seem paper thin.

Because now I'm older, and I have my own personal life and she has her's. And there's no hugging out the insecurities and the secrets never spoken to one another.

Hugs won't cure my sick grandfather. Hugs won't fertilize the money tree. Kisses won't help me in school. Kisses won't help me finish my work in time for deadlines. There just isn't time for that nonsense. 

And times like these when stress and work and pressure and life just seem to be consuming my mind, all I want is a long, tight hug.

But it's too awkward now, so I won't. And the lack of long, affectionate hugs just makes long hugs feel weird now. So I won't. 

I shall find comfort in the warmth of my warm cup of tea and snuggle close my thick book and rest in the arms of my soft, hugging blankets. 

[peacefulchaosinsideme]

incomplete

Overwhelmed.

Under-prepared.

I felt out of my element and uncomfortable

Gasping for air, a way out.

Then you strapped the anchor to my ankle and said "swim."

Desperately, I found a way to wriggle free with seemingly no injuries

You, on the other hand are shattered

*

Seeing you standing there,

broken and alone

Cold and confused,

Where I felt anger and impatience

I now am sorry

Aching to comfort

In a way that no one,

Including you would understand.

*

My heart and mind are

confused and muddled.

Being kind might be

misconstrued as rekindling

Being hands-off might be

misconstrued as bitterness

[selinater366-blog]

Monday! Ugh. Back to school already.. Geo was boring as usual. Took notes and what not. English we finally changed seats, but I'd much rather go back to the old seating.. At least they were more talkative.. My group is quiet and I dunno. Just really don't like them much. Oh wells. Hopefully things get better. Got To Kill a Mockingbird though! The new book looked pretty nice. Haha! Bio was the same along with Spanish. Nothing really happened the rest of the day..

[surviveandconvalesce-blog]

its weird that all i have seen of my roommate in the past week is just some of her stuff appearing on her bed. i love having the room to myself but its weird having a kinda ghost roommate.

[sonictransducer]

everything is falling apart

and I'm scrambling to pick up the pieces, but my vision is blurred. I can't think straight enough to decipher them and I don't know which ones I need to pick up and put back together. I don't know what is of importance and what looks meaningful but isn't. I'm so confused but I can't even focus long enough to decide what exactly is wrong here. What the fuck is going on with my brain?

[sammysoysauce]

On growing up

Me: So I kind of got a referral today...but I can explain!

Mom: MY baby?

Sister: Omg I'm tweeting this.