Jeffrey commented on Kid Harpoon and Taylor Testa’s Instagram Live. 4.29.20

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Jeffrey commented on Kid Harpoon and Taylor Testa’s Instagram Live. 4.29.20
I bought it for a higher price but at least I have don’t panic it’s longer now
There have been some very unexpected and not so great things happen both to myself and my family the last few weeks and I am just ready for something good to happen to us.
when i was in school i did as told, going from class to ballet and home. over and over, but there were many people i met and things i saw. learning new things everyday
when i moved to new york, it was ballet all day. ballet, the train, home. i felt locked in. those cold studios, or stuffy basements with no windows. my apartment with bars on the windows. but sundays i’d lose myself and my stress in central park. green and more green
when i was injured i laid inside. a living hell. screaming in pain and nightmares. the world was scary and i had no interest in it. it had no kindness . and if it did it hurt me . couldn’t let anyone in . then i broke free
i experienced horrible things and also the most beautiful things
now i’ve had a short leash. always dying to see more. times of rest and peace. now everyone is stuck inside. and i want to go out, because i know there are beautiful things in this world. and i want to create them. i want to be alive. i spent so much time hating the world and now i want to see the better things. i hope this is over soon. i said i’d write down all my pain so someone else would read it and feel less alone. but i just want to live. to exist and be
anyone who is in quarantine with someone whom they can talk to (a parent, a sibling, an s/o) should be grateful. literally i’m going to forget what my voice sounds like by the end of this
Jeffrey posted on his Insta story. 4.29.20
Still trying to ride the high because yesterday I FINALLY was strong enough to make an appointment with a therapist, and I’ve been in a genuinely good mood since then
but it’s so hard for me to stop analyzing people’s actions and reactions to me and taking every single change in behavior or attitude and wondering if they hate me or if I did something wrong, and wondering why things change
and I know that part of it is because it’s got to be hard to love me or be friends with me because I’m genuinely a lot to handle, like, I know this, I know it must be hard to be friends with someone who is so down all the time and talks too much about their problems and sometimes just talks too much in general, but then I start thinking ‘well not everything’s about you’ but then I start wondering if I’m Patricia?? Like am I someone that people feel like they HAVE TO talk to or they’ll go off the deep end?? Do I message people first too often?? and now i’m spiraling, again -_-
4/29/20
4 * 2 = 9 - 2^0
Also:
4 - 2 = √9 - 2^0