Common triggers in Complex PTSD
These triggers can often result in emotional flashbacks: surges of unpleasant feelings like shame, fear, sadness, despair, and rage.
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@mucusonmybrain
Common triggers in Complex PTSD
These triggers can often result in emotional flashbacks: surges of unpleasant feelings like shame, fear, sadness, despair, and rage.
This PDF is of a test called the Parental Bonding Instrument (PBI). It gives a little snapshot of your relationship with your parents (mothers and fathers are tested on the same criteria, but scored separately). The cool thing about this test is that
“Scores on the PBI demonstrate good concordance with sibling ratings (Parker 1990) and do not merely reflect current depressed mood state (Duggan et al. 1998). The PBI shows high test–retest reliability over months, and moderate consistency over extended periods of up to 10 years (Parker 1990).” (source)
To take the test first without skewing your results by looking at the scoring criteria, skip straight to pages 3 (mother) and 4 (father). Pages 1 and 2 explain how to score your results.
“The PBI is not held under copyright. Therefore, clinicians and researchers are free to use the measure without obtaining permission.“
More info on scoring below the cut (you might want to take the test before reading about scoring):
Keep reading
Discusses the impacts of childhood trauma and protective factors that help children build resilience to stress and trauma. You can really see from their discussion of the effects of childhood trauma how trauma can lead to problems like ADHD!
A comic about the spectrum of responses to stress - we talk alot about the more extreme ends of this and trauma, but the more subtle and every day responses can be harder to spot. if we can understand our own and other’s responses better, problems Are easier to confront and blaming is less likely to happen :) hope it’s helpful!!
Recently discovered I mostly freeze, but definitely have felt all of these at some point
A reminder that healing is not linear, does not happen overnight and sometimes you discover wounds that you didn’t even know were there. Set backs are a part of your journey. Be easy on yourself.
Hard truths about love:
1. Everybody’s love looks different.
2. Not everyone one can love you the way you need. That doesn’t mean they love you any less. That also doesn’t mean you need to stay.
3. Sometimes the most loving thing is letting go.
part of my trauma stems from abandonment issues, and part of it stems from feeling unloved/like a burden.
there’s a lot more to it than that, but that’s the bare bones of it for what I’m talking about now. What do I do when my trauma makes me react to a certain situation in a way that’s completely ridiculous and unjustified, and I know it, but I’m still distraught?
My best friend and I have historically had a running conversation on and off all day long. Over the past month or so, we’ve been talking less and I’ve noticed it. I’ve been going through a bout of depression (lol, like I haven’t been for 15 years?) and struggling a lot with the whole ~healing~ process that I’m in, so I haven’t been reaching out as much, and neither has she. I can recognize that I’ve been leaning on her for support a lot during this time, and being really candid about what I’m feeling because I trust her. My best friend is truly the person I’m closest to in the world and like a sister to me. So I can recognize that maybe that’s gotten to be a bit much? She says it isn’t and I’m not overbearing about leaning her. I’m just recognizing the fact that I have done it recently.
So yesterday she tells me that she’s been trying to be a better mom and limiting her screen time while she’s with her kids and so if I don’t hear from her from 8am-8pm it’s not because she’s mad at me, but because she’s at work and with the kids.
The logical part of me completely understands this and applauds her efforts to be a better mom and be present when she’s with her kiddos. The traumatized part of me? She was instantly triggered and set off and it’s made me spiral down a hole over the last ~12 hours. My thoughts have been everything from “omg she hates me and is leaving me because I’ve leaned on her too much” to anger and “her kids are important but I guess she doesn’t value our friendship at all” to “my life is pointless and meaningless because I don’t have anyone to share my life with who puts me first”.
Repeating myself but...I recognize that these thoughts are totally nuts and invalid. But my therapist has taught me that whatever I’m feeling is valid and I just...want to know why this happens and what to do about it and how to not feel like this. I’m seriously upset about it.
I’m obviously not bringing this up to my best friend because of course she has every right to set boundaries and again, this is me being triggered and that is MY PROBLEM to deal with. I’m just struggling a lot.
I can’t wait to see my therapist tomorrow. It’s been two weeks and I really need to get her feedback on stuff -_-
In which my trauma is manifesting in my chest and I have no way out. (do not delete caption)
chapbook
I guess I’m in a “low” of recovery, if you want to call what I’m trying to do ‘recovery’. I’m trying to remind myself that this stage of life is not permanent and that I’m doing better than I used to be, but really it just feels like my life is absolutely never going to get better, no one will ever love me and I’ll be stuck with just my mom forever. I want to cancel my psychiatrist appointment so fucking bad because I don’t want to take meds and I don’t want to do this. Because there’s no fucking point. I don’t even know what this post is I’m just hurting so bad right now
to live in the body of a survivor is to never be able to leave the scene of the crime.
i cannot ignore the fact that i live here.
- Blythe Baird, If my Body Could Speak
Here’s to those of us who never had a “before”
A before we got sick—physical or mental. Those of us who have been disabled/mentally ill since birth or childhood. Who have to grieve never having had a normal life. Who have to wonder what we missed out on, who have a lingering wonder of how things could have been different if we’d been different. If you’re a sick person without a “before”, you matter, your emotions are valid, and there are others like you out there.
one of the most important things i’ve learned in therapy is that when you’ve experienced prolonged trauma in your childhood, pleasure feels uncomfortable. like, not that you don’t feel it, but that when you do feel it there’s an impulse to make it stop, because it’s extremely unfamiliar. and pleasure can mean many things, as simple as feeling cozy, and as complex as feeling loved. the neural pathways for feeling good have not had a chance to develop, and the neural pathways for feeling bad are quite practiced. feeling good, too, takes conscious practice.
This is what trauma looks like on a simplified scale, what you are looking at is literal brain damage. The hippocampus (part of your brain responsible for function, learning, memory, emotion and control) shrinks with abuse. If you experience abuse as a child, it simply stunts development and other parts of the brain take the lead. Trauma is serious.
Feeling betrayed and hurt and like I should never open up to people. It always happens and I’m always surprised and hurt. The worst is that being in funerals I know that I’m overreacting but I still can’t help feeling this way.