#40sleeps

[torrid-wind]

Harlem street scene, 1948 - photo by Gordon Parks

(***Click image or title link to view in high resolution***)

[jenthebug]

@runningfromthedaleks tagged me to Stop Drop and Selfie! And that reminded me of something I love about myself for the #40sleeps Self Love Post! I love my shirt, the one I'm wearing. It's full of stories! It has the logo of my former ambulance company. I did good things! I did (some of) them well! I loved my time there. It has bleach spots. I work hard at keeping a clean house! It's been with me since right after my daughter was born. I wear it as pajamas now that it's so old, and it keeps me warm every winter. If I were to keep only what sparks joy, this shirt would stay.

[jenthebug]

#40sleeps Self Love Post

I love my snow driving skills. I hate the snow, I hate driving in it, but I’m good at it.  Right now, I have a Subaru Forester with ABS (woo, cheat code!), but that hasn’t always been the case.  Here’s how I do it:

Avoid driving if possible.  Gotta work? Out of coffee?  Fine, drive safely.  But if you can delay or cancel your plans, do it.  Snow is awful and cancelling plans is cool.

Clear off the entire car, don’t just brush off the windows.  Snow can fly off the roof and hit other cars.  That’s bad.

SLOW YOUR ROLL.  Seriously, do not drive fast.

Maintain following distance of 8-10 seconds.

Accelerate and decelerate slowly.  Like, comically slowly.

If you can’t see the road because there’s a blizzard going on, just stop driving.  Pull to the right and put on your hazards.  Do not continue until you can see again.  Learned this one the hard way.

Remember that there is no such thing as four-wheel-stop, and that all the braking in the world won’t stop something sliding on ice.

If you skid, steer gently in the direction you want to go, and don’t panic.

BUT SRSLY SLOW YOUR FUCKIN ROLL

[jenthebug]

#40sleeps Self Love Post

I love my discipline. It got me to the gym today when I really didn’t want to go.

This morning, I packed a gym bag and put it in the car. Later, I remembered that I’m going to Liz’s school this afternoon for a conference. I thought, “Sweet! No gym!” (It’s cold, I want to be under blankets)

I got in the car after work and saw the gym bag. I did a few mental calculations, and…“Crap. YES gym.”

I have rules about going to the gym. If these three qualifications are met, I go: 1. I have time 2. I am not sick or hurt 3. I have gym clothes (Then again, if I don’t have them, I find somewhere to walk)

All of those qualifications were met. There's no choice in the matter, when I meet those qualifications, I go. So, I went to the gym and it was leg day, I feel good, and I’ll make it to the school on time.

[jenthebug]

#40sleeps Self Love Post! I love my crochet skills. I made this scarf myself! This is the first time I've worn it this year.

[jenthebug]

#40sleeps Self Love Post of a different kind…

Story time! Liz and I went to the Parade of Lights last night. Liz decided that she wanted to take a selfie. She took this one, and said, “You know, I think I look REALLY GOOD tonight!” I told her that heck yeah she does. She said, “I think it’s because you can kind of see my grown up face.” Exactly, Liz. ❤️

I told her that everyone goes through awkward stages and pretty stages, and that it’s important to remember that the same person is inside through all of them. We talked about makeup (I told her I’d teach her the basics and how to take care of her skin once she’s old enough), and the times she felt awkward (I told her that she’s kind and smart and creative, and those things don’t change with appearance).

We did NOT talk about any flaws or any improvements that could be made to her face. I did not say, “You’d look better if…” I did not suggest or give advice, just let her enjoy one of those “Dang, I look good!” days.

Offhand comments from well-meaning adults did some damage to my self-esteem. Reassurance that I was pretty when I was anything but made me stop trusting Mom on those days that I felt ugly. Reassurance felt hollow. I would have loved to hear, “The awesome person you are will not change just because you look different. Keep being smart and creative and working hard, because appearance is temporary and you’re always capable of good things.” So, that’s what I told Liz.

I unpacked a bit of my appearance hang-ups and had a good conversation with Liz, all because of one selfie.

[jenthebug]

#40sleeps Self Love Post! I love my drawing. I'm finally starting to develop a style of drawing that's fun and feels easy enough (though not actually easy). It's not perfect, I'm sure I'll improve as I practice more, but I've gotten over the "I can't draw" mental hurdle.