Today
Today I woke to the same dark ceiling, the same soft pillow. I went out of my room and into the main area of our cabin. Eric served me a bowl of watery soup as the others who live here questioned me about the world we are no longer a part of. They all seemed to know a lot about me. I guess we have all been through the same horror, the same trial, the same bus ride to the middle of no where and walk to the town. Town? compound? prison?
They were all sympathetic enough but I feel like they do not trust me yet.
We walked together to the center of the yard to a small square stage where a vast, regal looking woman was standing with a bundle of fabric. More women were gathering and I asked Eric what was going on, she told me that they have decided to let me stay. I wonder what happens to the ones who aren’t allowed. Do they just get shoved out to the wilderness to die in the cold?
They pushed me onto the platform while around me the talking of the women made a buzz like insects, my head was starting to spin, then a throat cleared. Silence. I was momentarily taken aback at the speed in which this woman quieted the crowd, at the control she has over these women, but she was smiling at me now asking me to say my name. I hardly whispered the word, Ofwinston. The woman stood arms akimbo and as though the words were a prayer she almost chanted “Here we are all made anew” She seemed to be addressing the whole crowd and just me simultaneously. “Here we shed our former names and remake ourselves as whole people” The women were chanting now “Winston” “Winston” “Winston” sending a shiver up my spine, I felt exposed and like I didn’t know where to look or what to do in this strangest of ceremonies. She continued “Here we shed the demeaning ‘of’ and take our place as equals!” The chanting was louder now, the insects had turned into wolves howling at their leader when suddenly the tension broke and they reached up and swarmed the platform grabbing at me and ripping the clothes from my frame. The receded like a wave leaving me exposed and bare, alone with her on the platform, she gave me the bundle of fabric which I found was different clothes. I pulled on my new identity as the women cheered. Women with men’s names and wearing men’s clothes. I feel as though I have traded one costume for another I wonder if there is any where else where I can go. But I know the answer to that question.
What will tomorrow bring?