[rant/vent] acads.
i relate so much to a stray kids song and it's slump :D i am a burnt out gifted kid who lives by academic validation.
i was never the most excellent nor the brightest student in every i've been a part of but i can proudly say that i have a spark. there are moments when i was shining bright on my own, when i was able to give a nice explanation for a terrifying question, pass and ace exams or quizzes.
i used to be so happy about learning but now, idk anymore. what i know is i try my best to be better in academics because i don't want to be totally irrelevant in a household that used to look up to me when i was a child.
but the worst part is no matter how hard i try, it feels like it doesn't matter to them anymore because they are already used to me doing well in school.
years have passed and i think they have already accepted the fact that i will not always be the best in the things i do. i will lose. i will fail. it seems like they are already over the phase of wanting more from me when it comes to academics and that i am the only one left in this hell hole.
being a gifted kid is both a blessing and a curse.
