#5.3.2020

[tartkiwifruit]

Inuyasha, Kagome, and Yuka learn to shoot tequila.

This is an inter-scene illustration from my Inuyasha fanfiction, Just a Dream. I haven’t uploaded the chapter this is from yet, but if you like Inuyasha getting up to shenanigans in the modern era, give it a look!

[devonjwerkheiser]

devonwerkharder “aim ••• shot by @lilyjadee“

[lunchcase]

I can’t find the NOTES! So this will be based purely on memory

Five Guys Vanilla and Chocolate and Strawberry milkshake 

I was there with Marianne because I wanted to finally try Five Guys after hearing, for 5 years, that they have great fries and they give a lot of fries. I was a bit overwhelmed with all the choices I could put in, and the cashier found it amusing. I asked if I could have bacon in my milkshake. He said yes. I gasped. The possibilities are endless. I ended up not putting bacon in, but I did mix a bunch of flavours together, and I remember being surprised how I could still taste the distinct flavours while also be sort of harmonious? The burger was good. The fries are good. 

White Rabbit Instant Bubble Tea

I remember it being quite good actually! It was Hong Kong flavour, I think?? And I remember thinking it was close to what it’s supposed to be???

[godsnameisjoy]

Fool

Date : 5 March 2020

Duration : 38 minutes at 10:00 pm

Depth :

Written soon after the session -

‘The regret about this session is that I didn’t carry on. I stopped, out of habit. The mental condition of being far beyond the reach of the subconscious makes it possible for me to meditate for an eternity. Instead I stopped out of habit.’

[aliyawyg20]

prompt 12: in order to feel safe enough to face the pain, I would...need blankets and pillows and plates to throw. maybe a trampoline to bounce in. flowing water to distract with. I would need my teacher by my side. I would need food waiting for me when it was done. water with me. I would want a soft animal with me, too. one that could put itself on my heart and let the floodgates open. I was scared reading this as I thought I'd have to go to the pain. Instead, I like feeling senior and neutral in a space I set up, and bring the pain to me to read and embrace, softly. there's a space keeper, if not two. my phone is on "do not disturb" and airplane mode but on hand and I can call anyone who could validate me. I would have plants and flowers around me. I would be in the ocean, the biggest hug I've ever felt in this life. the sun would be shining so I would have my pain met with love and care and comfort. I start thinking of what the pain itself would look like and I can't. no pictures- it hurts too much to be anything but naively numb. or bravely numb. I would need every art supply I have, just in case I need to use any. perhaps a big, big sketch pad and some charcoal. most importantly, I would need a hug. GOD would I need a hug. my mama rubbing and scratching my back. my brother holding my hand. only us survivors together. i would want a giant bed. a clean pool to dive into. maybe a fireplace? no fireplace. grass. grounding under my feet. enough space and room to yell and scream. it hurts to do that with a septum ring into the pillow. all the good desserts even though I wouldn't eat any of them. so many flowers hung and strung like holiday garland. shiksa garland. I would need bravery. I have bravery already, but I don't have the environment. I would need something to type with in case the words can't leave my tight and closed throat. a sweet iced drink for extra comfort. a pony tail holder. painkillers and a puke bucket. no walls. a punching bag. ice. scissors and paper and all. probably a sharpie and picture of the president. i hate the president. i blame the sob. i blame god. i forgive god, though. the truth is, I don't know what my pain will look like in the sense of facing it in a prepared way. I have never experienced this or done this before. no pain has ever or may ever amount to this. it's insanely massive and wildly unfathomable. it creeps up on me and I do my best in the moment it arrives. but to prepare means using every tool in the box and opening up to it ever so gently with guidance and next steps for aftercare so I would know that that present moment won't be forever. I will need so much sunshine and so many clouds and so many breezes to alleviate it all. I will need anything to make it less real. I will need to do this one day, won't I? 

[wheres-the-bear]

Spring keeps me wild

Spring reminds me that I am wild. It brings cool mornings where my hair frizzes from the rain of the previous night, listening as it pats like a soft golf clap against the leaves of the trees outside my window. Foraging for mushrooms, with twigs and flowers stuck in my ponytail, I am reminded of the wonderful smell of damp earth and the fresh breeze. Driving with the windows down through forests, I can look up its gentle slopes, spying moss-covered fallen trees and squirrels jumping delightfully through the leaf litter, and imagine myself wandering off into its depths willingly and without worry.

I wouldn’t have to wear a mask. My anxiety wouldn’t spike over the crowds or rude people. I could be the person who roams along deer trails memorizing the hills until I knew each mayapple, morel, redbud, and birch tree by name. I could appear every once in a while, my hair unmanaged and curly, my eyes clear and bright, and be known as the wild one who lives in the forest.

I laid in my yard yesterday afternoon underneath a Japanese maple and watched the sunlight dance through the bright, newly unfurled red leaves. My dirt-covered palms faced up. My body was relaxed. The five-point leaves contrasted brilliantly with the delicate blue sky, and I wished I could have captured that moment forever. The breeze blew cool and gentle, the grass was soft. 

My eyes closed, and I felt Mother Earth caress my cheek. I heard her song in the birds chirping gleefully in the surrounding trees, and in the soft resonances of the wind chime in the backyard. As I laid there, I felt wild. United with Mother Earth, breathing as she breathed, inhale, exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

[prosy-days]

March 5, 2020 - Day 259

Had a bit of a sick day today, it was very restful to stay home and nap.

[i-my-september]

يا حبيبي كل ما في الصمت نادى