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You did well, Jonghyun

hey. so I haven't been active and I'm really late on this platform to talk about this.

Jonghyun is much more than just an idol to me. He was a role model and someone I could always listen and relate to. I didn't know him personally, I have never seen him face to face, or even heard him speak in person. Yet, this loss feels like I've just lost a dear friend of mine.

It's been hours and yet, I can't bring myself to fully admit he's dead. I look photos, listen to his music, watch videos, and think of when he will return with new material before I realize again that he is gone. This is all that's ever going to come from him now. One of the most talented people I have ever heard has left and will never return.

When his suicide note was released, I read through any translation I could find because I didn't want to see him say "I'm worthless" or anything along those lines. I hoped for it to be a mistranslation because there was no way for that to be true. He couldn't really think this, not Jonghyun. Yet, the words were always there. Jonghyun thinking he's worthless was like a blow to my heart. I immediately thought we failed as fans because we were not able to make his life brighter, not like he did for us.

The problem, however, was not with us. It was with his depression, and the doctor that told him he was fine. How could living in pain be fine? It angers me that he wasn't able to get the help he needed, that he was unable to get treated because a medical professional told him there was nothing wrong. Jonghyun, I'm sorry that system failed you.

Still, it is important to stay strong. it is important to remember what he left behind for us. His legacy with SHINee, his music, his passion for performance. We must never forget his bright personality, or his wishes. As sad as it may be, as much as it hurts, it is important to remember to let him go. He deserves his happiness, and his peace from the pain and suffering he endured whilst living.

Jonghyun, I love you. I'm sorry you never got married or had a family. I'm sorry you never got the chance. I'm sorry that no one did anything to treat you and you were brushed aside. Jonghyun, I'm sorry for the pain you went through and the fact that no one was able to take it away before it was too late. But, Jonghyun, please be happy now. Please have your wishes granted and rest in peace.

Shawols and SHINee love you, and we will keep you in our hearts.

"A star that shined brightly on the stage for ten years, now a star of the skies."

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"We're not fully recovered. But we're getting there". -Minho 😍 We got your back boys! 😘 i know it takes time but i know you can make it. Thank you for making it this far. I love you always! Thank you for being an inspiration. 😘💚💙 #SHINee #샤이니 #SHINee_TheStoryofLight #5hinee #5hinee_forever @shinee @bumkeyk @dlstmxkakwldrl

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