Jun 6, 2018
Chris attending the Life Rolls On Foundation “They Will Surf Again” event in Santa Monica - June 2
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Chris attending the Life Rolls On Foundation “They Will Surf Again” event in Santa Monica - June 2
x x x
tbh I’m really proud of myself for going to the store and getting powerade and ensure. ik it’s small. but it wasn’t easy.
eleanorj92: 🐻
Chris with Moses and Phil at the Life Rolls On event in Santa Monica - June 2
6.2.18
My electrolytes were imbalanced. (my bloodwork from the ER last night said as such and I had a rlly bad headache earlier)
I took a positive step towards taking care of myself--I asked my dad to take me to the grocery store to get powerade and ensure.
He bought me both, and I drank a little powerade and nearly immediately my headache went away.
I also got ensure which is kind of terrifying as ensure is soooo calorically dense, but the dietitian asked me if I’d be willing to drink a supplement. I basically told her no, but I talked myself into buying it (or having my father buy it but same dif)... and that is a step in the right direction.
Plus now I will certainly drink it at some point, as I will feel overwhelmingly guilty over having my parents pay for it if I never drink it.
I sent my dietitian a message on recovery record to let her know.
I'm alright guys. I'm at home. I got home at like 1 am. My heart is fine. All my ekgs were normal. My labs showed some low stuff but they didn't talk about it, and I haven't gotten a chance to Google it yet.
Properly approaching to help in a distress call
Just intending on lending a hand
Instead, one gets shot back
It stings like a slap to the cheek
but sinks into my chest heavy like lead
Clenching my teeth, I resist the urge to scream or cry
Walking away, fighting the tears trying to form
I feel my walls climb higher until I feel myself shift
I am pissed
Things are building up, the pressure as well
I can't stand the the build up in my skull
like the tension will spill over at any moment
There's too much changing around me, but I'm not keeping up
The world's moving, spinning, but I'm still stuck
When is my standard going to be enough?