#6682

[5sospicturesque]

Clearing out my camera roll 6682/?

[everymobbu]

[every-tome]

[baospodcast]

#6682 Daft Friend (Canada) Podcast time! Tonight we’re hanging with the fellas from Daft, and we’re setting it off with this unique af 6% sour beer-cider hybrid. Boasting 51% sour beer and 49% fresh-pressed apples alongside plum purée and bottle conditioned (in a dope clear bottle with a swing top), it pours a cloudy yellow with a bubbly head and a huge, tart, plum-infused nose, it’s funky and smooth up front, the cider elements are balanced alongside the more forward sour beer vibes, the plums really provide the backdrop for the other adjuncts to sit on, it’s tart and tangy, a genuine pleasure to drink, wrapping in a dry, puckering finish. Fantastic stuff. — #kingstoncraftbeer #ontariocraftbeer #beer #craftbeer #daftbrewing (at Montreal, Quebec) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWNR4Fjrkk3/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sweetexistence]

I want you to choose me. I want you to look at all the beauties you're surrounded by & want you & still pick me. I don't want to be second or third or a back up. I don't want to be your friend or just a lover. I want you to want all of me. Why is that too much to ask.

[sweetexistence]

TRIGGER WARNING

Tonight’s a bad night. & this time I can’t blame it on PMS. I really do feel alone & numb. I feel so frustrated with life because it seems like this drawn out battle inside of myself & im tired of fighting. I don’t know who to turn to that’ll even begin to comprehend how I feel. I feel so unloved & unwanted. I feel so worthless. I’m stuck between needing someone to save me from myself & wanting to be my own hero. I just want to be close to someone. I just need to be held & be told everything’s gonna be ok & that they’re there for me as long as I need them to be & mean it. I just need a sincere hug & to be reassured constantly that someone cares, and that they care a lot. But all of this is so heavy. How am I ever going to find someone to fill that empty space between my arms. How is that conversation supposed to go. & I know people say you can’t love without first loving yourself. But I have. I’ve loved someone way more than I could ever love myself but I’ve never been proven wrong when it comes to how others feel about me. The only guy I can say probably honestly loved me turned out to be kinda psycho. Maybe that’s just who I am. Maybe there really is just one soul mate out there for everyone & mine killed himself years ago. I’m just so tired of living. I’m so tired of existing. Nothing makes sense anymore. Even things that made me happy only last a little while before I’m back to this dark corner of my mind. These four walls of my bedroom have seen me at my darkest. They’ve enclosed me at my weakest. At my loneliest. To be honest I don’t keep going for myself. I don’t have a will to keep living. I simply survive for my family. Because I could never cause them the pain it would be of losing a family member. I couldn’t do that to them. But if it was up to me I can’t say I’d still be sitting here right now. It’s just that I look into the future & I find it so hard to picture. & I’ve started to hate waking up in the morning. Because waking up means I have to keep living. & I hate working or going to school because it means I have to pretend. Pretend I’m okay so I don’t get asked a lot of questions no one really wants the answer to. Even being around friends is only okay for a couple of hours. Then I close my front door & lock it & the rain starts pouring in. I can’t find a way out of this dark labyrinth that is my mind. & sometimes I don’t even want to try. I just want to dwell in my self pity & pain. Stay sad because it’s so much harder to try to be happy again. I don’t deserve that. I’m a selfish person. I don’t deserve being loved or wanted. I don’t deserve being kind to. Others have bullies. But my bully is my mind. How do you escape that when its so right. Silly me thinking anyone could be interested in someone like me. Someone that’s so broken & dysfunctional like me. But anyway, goodnight. I hope I don’t wake up.

[was-ist-dein-geheimnis]