#7.2.2022

[phototagebuch]

7.2.2022: Sofferl

[illuminatedpopcorn]

[gobrandyn]

7.2.2022

goals - Today, I will work at Philz (in which I will take my scooter), hike for an hour or two up the mountain, and clean the house VIGOROUSLY.

my weight - I weigh 170.8lbs / 20% body fat (Bathroom scale)

diet - Boiled eggs, chipotle burrito bowl, fudge ice cream

sleep - I went to sleep at around 1am, woke up at 9:30am.

fitness progression - Nill

habits - good habit: I am eating better this morning. I will avoid coffee as well. Bad habit: I watched a shit ton of porn yesterday. I did not take a cold shower. Stayed up all night watching "severance".

feelings - I feel woozy...hungry...but I don't think I feel incapable of having a good day.

highlights - I don't feel depressed.

failures - None yet.

beliefs - We could be locked in a time loop.

[prosy-days]

February 7, 2022 - Day 233

I may have gotten excited about getting journals on redbubble.

[godsnameisjoy]

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!

Date: 7 February 2022

Duration: 80 minutes at 10:15 PM

Depth:

As I woke on 8th February, I thought about my things-to-do list. Writing this blog has the top most position on that list, no matter which day. Then I tried recalling as much of the session from the night before.

I thought that there really isn’t much that happened during last night’s meditation. Nothing more than relatively better depth of concentration than the last few nights. This is the level of concentration that I have already written about. I have already experienced it many times before. Nothing remarkably different, I thought.

And then it hit me! My involuntary bodily shakes went back to ‘mild’ last night. And that’s why there was such Peace felt during the session. The seemingly established sensation of depth and vastness of inner quiet was missing for previous nights when I shook more strongly than ‘mild’. The attention was drawn away from in-depth Peace to a shaking body. I thought all this and then my eyes widened with a happy realisation.

You know what all of it means? It means that spinal energies felt so far at a point just above the shoulder level may very well have carved a fraction of a millimetre of its path within! Upwards! The direction of freed up energies in one’s body is given by where one’s attention is.

Isn’t it a blessed phenomenon that meditation relaxes muscles and mind enough to loosen up otherwise tied down energies? While paying attention to one’s meditation technique, one finds surplus energy. While continuing to pay attention to one’s meditation technique, one senses these energies emanating from and dissipating along the spine.

And if one is fortunate enough to continue with one’s practice, one observes the point of energy shifting and gradually moving upwards in the direction of one’s attention. Presently, I crave for this energy to find a seat in my head.

In fact, I have been wondering about folk who give priority to Bhakti Yoga, meaning ’the path of devotion’, while choosing their style of spirituality. Are devotional songs across religions written and composed by folk who feel maybe exactly this particular craving that I have been feeling.

The energies that I am experiencing as surplus, etc are the very same energies that are being supplied to all who breathe. This benevolent energy fuels our involuntary and voluntary muscles. Imagine spending this energy and still be left with a surplus during a bed time meditation. Why wouldn’t anyone with the slightest degree of meditational success want these energies to influence one’s voluntary muscles? Where is the seat of such voluntary commands? In the head!

[akista]

“Ötmek istiyorum viran bağlarda, Ayağıma cennet kiralansa da.”