Magical History Lecture: Christmas Edition
It’s officially Christmas season, and I want to talk to you about some of our more prominent Christmas characters. All of this is extremely well *researched* and completely *factual*.
First, we have Grimmauld the Third. You may have heard of this name when you learned about the Order of the Pheonix in the UK, during that whole Harry Potter fiasco. That street was named after this guy’s great-grandfather. Totally different story, mind you, but it helps to make connections:
When Grimmauld the Third was a boy, he went along with his family on vacation in ancient Rome. They saw that during the shortest days and weeks of the year, they would bring pines inside to symbolize the eternity of life even through the cold months. Little Grimmy was so enchanted with the idea that when they came home, it became a tradition in their family, and quickly spread throughout what is now the Netherlands.
Somehow, for the next four hundred years, the tradition of the tree started to include candles atop the frail branches. That was leading to an alarming uptick in house fires among muggle houses, because it never occurred to them that the trees were made of wood and very dry.
Next, Pippin the Fretful:
Pippin was a muggleborn wizard who, in his youth, had suffered through one such house fire. His father went crazy and insisted they live in caves for the rest of his life. His mother was badly burned and spent most of her life hiding from the outside world. As such, it fell to Pippin to take care of his family and parents. He was a worrysome soul, and when he learned of his power, he immediately sought out someone to teach him to use it to help his family.
In his later years, he discovered a way to produce the same light as a candle without any flame. He called it one of his baubles, but it is better known today as an ornament.
Blonkus the Niffler Nabber:
The year was 1687, which, as many of you history buffs will remember is the year that the Nifflers took over Gringotts. Blonkus was a goblin apprentice to the Keyholder at the bank. He wasn’t great with handling money, as were all of his cohorts, but he was very good at catching thieves. He had a talent that was legend.
To understand the origins of this situation, you should know that in that year, Hogwarts had just gotten its most notoriously mad Headmaster Edmond Flonk. He wanted to make Hogwarts a “blastedly fun place to, you know, do the learning” and so he introduced an adorable little platypus looking thing, and he matter of factly announced that it was called a Niffler. He had come back from a holiday abroad and found the buggers in his luggage. So, he kept a family of them, and eventually the family grew large enough that they escaped the chambers and found themselves in the luggage of students going home for the summer. All across the UK, families found their jewels and money and watches missing. Fearing thievery, they would head to Gringotts to take out more money. By November of 1687, Nifflers had set up a hive in Gringotts and the Goblins could do very little about it.
Enter Blonkus.
He had been charged with removing all the shiny objects from around the bank, lest the Nifflers become stronger and rip them from the walls. To do this, he was given a tool called a Tinsler, that had long silver protruding slivers to get in and behind fixtures to undo them. Goblin fingers were much too fat for that kind of delicate work. Blonkus had quite a collection built up, when he found he was exhausted. He hid himself away in an alcove and tucked his trinkets under his coat, along with the Tinsler. He awoke to a poking on his chest a short time later, and opened his eyes to a Niffler rifling through his coat. He was trying to gain his bearings when he realized that the Niffler was caught on something. He moved his coat aside and realized that the Tinsler had wrapped around the hands and feet. In no time, the infestation was under control, belongings were returned to their owners, and tinsel is still hung on Christmas trees to this day to trap any rifling Nifflers looking to steal ornaments from the trees.
