#7z3view

[7z3view]

I don’t know what to do when you call me beautiful

you say it so casually as you walk up, pressing a kiss to the side of my head, unaffected, as if loving me was something as simple as breathing air or breaking glass

I’m almost not even sure if its real, the reality is that I don’t know what its like to be loved simply, or really just loved

But you say beautiful and smile so widely with your slightly chapped lips tinted pink from my lipstick from when we kissed seconds before, and my chest aches, and I figure maybe I should’ve become a musician considering how loudly my heart beats to its own pathetic drum for you.

[7z3view]

I think the perfect spot to me always will be right by your side, either physically or mentally.

even if neither of us are talking to the other and we are both wrapped in with separate conversations with our own friends, our own activities, our own agenda.

I know that we both will make time to stop for even a slight second to check if the other is right there, next to each other, belonging.

[7z3view]

You’re leaving soon

going somewhere too far for too long,

Our closest friends have no doubt we will be fine, but in the darkest corner of my mind I’m scared

Every touch I am reminded that come August we will not touch again till December

Will you find better? Will you need better? Will you want better?

I worry enough as is that I am not enough, what will I do when I wake in the morning and you aren’t there, off somewhere with people so so so much better then me

I’m scared to think think this was the plan all along, to leave, to find better, to let me sit

waiting, wanting, hoping

I wrote something along the same lines once, I wrote it long before we knew this would happen, knew that you would leave, It was at the start of our relationship, when I was the same scared as I am now, but without reason then

“and when the summer fades and winter comes around,

I’ll sit there waiting, and aching, and praying, you’ll come around”

I’m scared love, so so scared

[7z3view]

A collection of notes left for a poor girls lover

Just to be clear, I love you