#8 immortals

[minoyrheyr]

OH NICEEE!! The film will be available in some international theatres so we have English trailer! I'm such a sucker to big cast of fun characters. I mean look at my You Yao obsession. This movie is for me!

[minoyrheyr]

The way they interact is so shippable. Yeah, expect shippers to ship them. The red guy's charm is like Tangled's Flynn Rider. I love Word of Honor's Hobo Axu so he caught my attention.

[threepanelorigin]

3PO #219 HCLLLHZZ!

[ftagn]

Darth Sion was the one who originally banished Po Kong.

[mafubrah]

Eight Immortals Drunken Boxing (video)

[houziuniverse]

[fuckyeahchinesemyths]

The 8 Immortals Cross the Sea

If you think the 8 immortlas couldn't get any cooler, you're wrong. They're so bad-ass, they even made a journey across the sea. Drunk. I mean, we call people and say stupid things when drunk. Or we text. Or we make a fool out of ourselves. But the 8 immortals got so drunk, they decided to cross the sea because they felt like it. Awesome, huh?

Anyway, they got drunk because they'd just been to one of the Peach Banquets of the Queen Mother, and her parties are like, the best, because you get to hang out with all the immortlas and get the best food there. Cool, huh? So the 8 immortals thought they'd try to cross the Eastern Sea, and to make it more fun, they decided to use their own special magic powers to do it instead of using good old somersault clouds.

(Back in the day, all immortals summoned clouds so they could float wherever they wanted.)

So anyways, Lu Dongbin tossed his sword and it became a boat, Tieguai Li's crutch became a piece of wood, Han Xiangzi's basket got bigger and bigger so he could sit on it, and He Xiangu did that to her lotus, too.

Think that's all? Think again!

Lan Caihe took his Jade Boards and made them into a canoe, Cao Guojiu took his imperial jade tablets and changed it into a raft, Zhongli Quan used his banana leaf, and of course, Zhang Guolao used his donkey.

They then started to cross the sea, but Lan Caihe had a pair of Jade Clappers that were so brilliant and - SHINY! - that lit up the entire Dragon Palace below. The Dragon Crown Prince was all, "WHASSAT? I must like, totally check it out and shiz," and so he went up to the surface with his troops, and stole Lan Caihe's Jade Clappers, and locked up our poor immortal.

So then he told his Dad, who was the Dragon King, "Hey Dad, I caught an immortal and stole his clappers!" And like any old Dad, the Dragon King was all, "Awesomesauce! I'm so proud of you, and you can totally have the par-tay you wanted."

Anyway, the immortals soon noticed that Caihe was missing - I mean, hello, he's like, the only androgynous one around, and so they were like, kay where did he go? And Lu Dongbin was all, I'll go look so he dived into the sea. 

Lu Dongbin basically said, "Hey, pissheads! Gimme back my friend or I'll beat you up!"

The Dragon Prince heard and was all, "Puh-lease. You're goin' down like your friend."

They fought, and the Dragon Prince hid somewhere, but Lu Dongbin used his magic gourd - which is this ancient Chinese bottle - to boil the sea, and finally, the Dragon King was all, "Fine, you can have your stupid friend back, but we're keepin' the clappers, k?"

So the immortals were all, WOOHOO! Our homie is back, but Caihe was real sad, because the Jade Clappers were his weapon, and he was now the only immortal among them who doesn't have one, so the others were all, hmm, we totally gotta get it back. They talked and talked, and Lu Dongbin went down to get the clappers.

He dueled with the Dragon Prince again, but with He Xiangu's help, she captured him, and he was killed. Then, the Dragon King was all, WTF? This immortal is way too strong, and so he sent his second son into battle. The second son also died anyways, so it was a major bummer.

Now the Dragon King was real pissed off, so he got all his troops, which were basically like, seafood in armour [you know, fish, crabs, and prawns and shiz,] and the 8 immortals gave it all they got. And they fought and fought and fought, and the immortals basically whooped their asses! Woo! The Dragon King then asked the other Dragon King [of the South, he was the Dragon King of the East] for help, and they were like, "Man, we should totally use the power of the sea to get rid of these immortals," and so they went to work. They created this HUGE tsunami and tried to flood all the immortals, but Zhang Guolao was all, "HEY GUYS! WAKE UP, we're all going to dieeee!" So the immortals woke up and flew off in time.

Anyway, they got real pissed off and were all, "Okay, if they can do a tsunami, we'll toss a hugeass mountain into the sea." So they got a hold of Mount Tai, and smashed it into the sea. Uh-oh. It was about this time that Guan Yin came and she was all, "Guys, I totally have a peaceful solution to this, listen to me, 'cause this fighting is going to go on forever, y'know?" The 8 immortals were all, "Wut?" And she was like, "Kay, Caihe can have his clappers back, but he has to give 2 parts of it to the Dragon King 'cause he lost 2 sons." They thought about it, and were all, "Hey, that's totally fair," and agreed.

Of course, after that, they made their way through the sea safely. Awww yeah.

This legend is also real popular, 'cause it's about people working together, using their special abilities for a common goal, somethin' we don't see much of nowadays. It's also a real cool story because of the epic battles between two worlds, too, and you could also pick your favourite immortal. For me, I'm real torn, 'cause I really do like all of them. Anyway, that's about it about the 8 immortals [for now, until I get a hold of the rest of their stories] and next week, we'll be talkin' 'bout some of my favourite Chinese writers.

See you then!

[fuckyeahchinesemyths]

8 Immortals - Cao Guojiu

Kay, Cao Guojiu is actually related to royalty, because his name means Emperor's Uncle. His real name was Cao Yi, and he and his two brothers were bullies. I mean, they were linked to like, royalty, so they totally thought they could do whatever they wanted. They also hunted for fun, and robbed people when they were travelling, the works.

So he and his brothers like, totally robbed a jewellery merchant, and they tricked the merchant into having drinks with them. So while like, the merchant and his wife were getting drunk and all, Cao Yi and his brothers stole whatever they got. They looted all that these people had, but then, there was this huge whirlwind that came, and after the wind was gone, the merchant and his stuff disappeared! So Cao Yi and his brothers like, totally freaked and ran away.

Later that night, Cao had a nightmare, and all the ghosts and demons were all, "PAY WITH YOUR LIFE!" which really sucked balls. Then, an immortal appeared and told him to totally repent before it was too late, so he was all, k.

He set up a charity house, provided free food during a famine, and basically did everything good. His brothers were all, "Dude, what's wrong with him? We totally gotta do something," so they poisoned everyone in the charitable home that Cao had set up.

Cao was so mad, he made sure he found out who did it and executed his brothers. He totally learned the Tao, and Lu Dongbin was so impressed, he was all, "Kay, I should totally make you an immortal," and he did.

Yay for Cao Guojiu!