#8.5.24

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

better than the first OVA but not by enough to have an increased score or anything, this was still really really boring.

[lavaboy]

day 43 of romanticizing my life until i love myself again

they forgot about me in the middle of their storm i slipped their mind

fortunately my day was not filled with waiting

it was full of laughter, work, listening to music, cooking, driving, thinking, cumming, making someone else cum.

they were the last thing on my mind, and when they forgot, it almost felt like a blessing, to be able to blame them for why we didn’t see each other today, instead of having to say, no, i don’t think it’s a good idea, after spending the weekend coming to my senses.

then, though, when i realized they’d just forgot,

in the middle of a chaotic mess of a day no less and i get it but still you can text me— i felt shattered suddenly, washing the dishes, realizing, no, isn’t what i wanted at all while trying to stop myself from crying

i hate feeling like everyone’s last priority but if i’m going to feel like that i must at least make myself my own priority i am the only one who will be here the whole way

[purenumbers]

8/5/24

(8 - 5)! = 2 + 4

Also:

8 = (5 * 2) - √4

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

seeing anything to do with eurovision is always my least favourite thing every time it comes around so i hope this year especially anyone that usually watches it has a fucking spine to boycott their shitty genocide-supporting dance show

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Half the characters in the crowd shots in the Rumble trailer are Forces OCs so I hope their customisation is a lil more fleshed out than in Forces proper, just like a few more hair styles even would go a long way

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Yeah there's a Violet recap movie, it's on MAL and is KyoAni so I watched it. It was fine, although as someone who's a real "episode 9 is the emotional peak of the series" truther that's not as invested in episode 10 it was a little disappointing that the latter was the climax of the movie. Oh well.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Toy Party got revealed as Sonic Rumble, and despite beta tests being US only apparently I went and applied because fuck it, it'll be cool if I get a chance hypothetically.

[falsekitsune]

Sigh, 'm so tired of everything. My mental health seem to be even worse now than previously when I pushed myself to go to work. Back then I believed that I would get better as the work load would lessen for not having the job along with studying, but now I don't even have the energy to study. What the fuck happened. I'm so tired of this. And it fucking annoys me that so many people have asked about me, asked how I'm doing, but once again I have difficulty to answer truthfully into that. Constantly saying that everything is okay and "I'm fine" even though I obviously ain't.

I promised to do better, get better and study hard, to get the right to live with my parents again, but once again evething goes to shit and not filling the promise.

Yeah I moved back to my parents house to get my life back on the track, yet it's still going downwards. What a fucking surprise.