#80 lbs

[a-startto-a-newme]

This was on July 4th 2016-2017.... 1 year and a 80 lb difference. I’ve changed so much for the better and even though I can see I’ve come far I still struggle. I’m not happy with where I am and I want to lose more. That’s the thing about weight loss. It’s like you’ll have motivation but you wake up one day and don’t. The thing is it’s your choice to push and unfortunately lately I’ve chosen not to push. It still blows my mind when I find a old picture of me and think omg and then I put a more recent picture next to it and my mind is blown. It’s like when I’m not losing I grow accustomed to the body I’m in and I start thinking like the old me. When I was losing weight I loved the changes but when I’m not eating right and stuck at the same weight or fluctuating 4-5 pounds I go back to being the girl on the left. The one with low self esteem and zero confidence. Even going through my old progress posts I seemed generally more happy than I am now. I have to find the motivation to keep pushing because I want to be able to use my “now” pictures as “before” pictures when I get to my goal weight. I started this journey for me and my health and I need to continue for the very same reason.

[teamsports2day]

Riddell Z-Matte Youth Shoulder Pads, Medium, 80 lbs, 12-13”, 2014 BUY IT NOW – Riddell Z-Matte Youth Shoulder Pads, Medium, 80 lbs, 12-13”, 2014

[thediaryofacurvygirl]

Weigh in

Today, I reached a huge and momentous milestone. The scale read 164 lbs. Not 164.5, not 165.5, and definitely not 244 lbs. In a little over two years, I have lost 80 lbs.

This whole process has been so bitter-sweet. When I first rejuvenated my weight loss goals two years ago, I wanted to be at a healthy BMI. I set my preliminary long-term goal at 164 lbs, because it was an easy 80 lb loss from where I was, thinking "Oh my gosh, if I could JUST be at this weight I would be happy." The past two years have been so crazy. I started losing weight and while it was steady, I hit a ton of road blocks, weight loss plateaus, and plenty of issues with myself. While seeking to be happy with my body, I developed new areas that I became self conscious about. I cried about understanding my long history and relationship with food, and how dependence on it for so long made me unhappy. I wanted to fall in love, and I met the man of my dreams almost a year ago. I struggled with learning how to run, how to exercise, and how I needed to incorporate it into a daily routine not for anyone else, but because it made me feel powerful. 

Weight is such a finicky thing. Water weight in a day can make you put on 3-4 lbs. Your weight fluctuates in a day (I didn't weight 164 lbs last night)... but consistent, positive change will make a difference. 

I have 10 more pounds to go till I reach a new goal. Being in the 150s was always an unattainable goal for me, but I don't think it's unattainable--it'll just take a while for me to get there :) I'm committed to making March the most special month of this journey yet. 

I cannot tell you guys enough how much your support means to me. People simply cannot do this journey without others lifting them up along the way, so for that I thank you! Expect a new Before and After Pic soon! 

"Rome was not built in a day, but they were laying down bricks every hour." 

[happylife-healthywife]

M.I.A.

Weekly update... Still up from bachelorette party... Whatevskis Had first fitting for my wedding dress, and even with my five and a half in Vera Wang pumps I STILL had to have the thing hemmed 2 inches... Shortstack My SIZE 14 Vera fit like a glove everywhere else. The alterations woman congratulated me on losing 80 lbs, in 8 months, patted me on the back, and then proceeded to tell me "For now you have to pause, no gaining and no losing.. Your dress fits PERFECTLY, the way women hope their dress fits AFTER alterations" So, for now that's what I'm attempting to do... Maintain... For a month, which is so scary to me I also realized that day, in my wedding dress as she was speaking to me, that I would in fact NOT make my original goal of 199 by the wedding. At first I had a pang of "oh no, I failed" but as I stood in my dress and looked at myself in the mirror I saw a beautiful, strong, dedicated person that I wouldn't have know or foreseen myself becoming in January of this year. I'm so incredibly proud of myself for how far I've come, and how hard I've worked in a short period of time. I felt like the most beautiful woman in the world, even surrounded by other, skinny brides in their gowns, the only thing I could do is focus on my own reflection in the mirror. I'm 80 lbs down, the skinniest and healthiest, and HAPPIEST I've ever been in my adult life. So far, I've gone from a size 24 to a 14, and I did it all by myself working hard and staying motivated. This is certainly not the end, I will reach the 100's, I will lose over 100 lbs, I will continue my journey, but for now it's just a pause. A pause to enjoy these last 27 days of the wedding planning process, a pause to marry the love of my life who I am eternally grateful to have found, the man who loves me at my worst and encourages me to try my best. A pause to reflect on how I've grown, and shrank, more in the last 8 months than I have in the last 10 years. But don't worry, I'll be back shortly. Thanks to everyone who has supported me, help pick me up when Im down, and celebrated my victories as if they were my own. The tumblr community is what really jump started my belief I'm myself to actually do it this time, and after my pause, I intend to come back to losing weight to wow and encourage and inspire you all, just have you have done to me. Thank you times a million, and sorry so incredibly lengthy. Jess