A spills coffee on B and some time later they take part in a dancing class with a stained crotch! Ha! Okay...
“Phil! Hurry up! We have to be there at,” Dan pauses to check his watch, “in five minutes!!”, he exclaims.
With a loud bang, Phil emerges into the hallway, complete with a ruffled jacket, one untied shoe and his hair completely wild. His face is pink, probably from running around the flat, and he’s clutching his bright pink water bottle like a lifeline.
“I’m ready, Dan.” Phil proudly states, when Dan only sighs, Phil mocks him, “oh my God, Phil, we’re so bleeping late!” He starts jogging down he corridor towards the lifts and Dan pauses, his eyebrows coming together as he thinks, “did he just say bleep?!”. After his moment of utter confusion, Dan shook his head and ran after Phil, who’s already stood in the lift, looking impatient.
“Finally,” Phil mutters as he presses the button for the ground floor.
“Did you say something?” Dan asks sarcastically, having heard Phil and chosen to ignore him. They stay silent for the ride down to the bottom floor; Phil was mesmerised by the shiny surface of the walls of the lift. Dan was simply thinking about death.
Upon reaching the ground floor, the lanky lads exit the lift and walk precisely seventeen steps to the building next door. “Red Hot Belly Dancers” reads the sign above the doorway in bright scarlet lettering next to a cartoon image of a chili pepper with Shakira’s face photoshopped onto it.
“Welcome, boys!” exclaims the pretty lady with dark hair and hooded eyes, as she bellydances as she steps towards the boys. “Would you like some coffee?” she offers, looking up at the tall men in her dance studio. Phil, the bumbling caffeine addict, instantly perks up, and nods enthusiastically, saying “oh, yes please!”. Dan shakes his head in disgust at Phil’s enthusiasm, and politely says to the lady, “No thanks”. He does the awkward white people meeting other white people smile.
Phil goes to the coffee machine at the back of the room. He presses each button 3 times to get the m a x i m u m coffee, and walks to meet Dan at the side of the room, sipping from his cup.
While he’d been getting his coffee, Diana, as they’d found out her name was, had started demonstrating what they’d be learning during the lesson. She rolled her hips, rotated her stomach and waved her arms about in a professional fashion. Then she stuck out her leg and spun around. Her belly was dancing the whole time. (Phil’s description of what she was doing). During this, Dan and Phil’s mouths had opened more and more as she did the more complex dance movements.
The music ended, and Diana stepped forward to Phil, who still had some coffee left in his cup, and grabbed his hand, inviting him to join her on the dance floor. Quickly, he thrust his cup at Dan, wordlessly asking him to hold the cup for him, portrayed by the fear in his eyes. Dan understood what Phil meant, and took the cup.
Diana talked Phil through how to do the dance, and as she showed him one more time, his eyes met Dan’s from across the room and he blinked twice for save me, however Dan was not well versed in morse code. Diana then asked Phil to practice the dance, which he did, albeit not well. His timings were wrong, his movements were not fluid, and when it got to the spinning part of the routine, his loose shoe flew off and hit Dan right in the chest, which would have been alright yet quite funny, however the coffee cup had been directly where the shoe had impacted. All the coffee left in the cup spilled all over Dan, soaking his crotch in lukewarm coffee.
“PHIL!!!!” Dan exclaimed, but not with much rage, as he was used to this, and occurrences such as this one happened multiple times each day.
Phil had the decency to look sheepish, once he’d stopped laughing at the look of horror on Dan’s face, and offered a quick “sorry Dan” in between his laughing attack. Diana realises that currently, Phil is a lost cause, so instead she invites Dan to learn some bellydancing.
Dan, with the huge coffee stain on his crotch, is almost as awful as Phil, however does not cause any property damage or bodily harm. When she is satisfied with Dan’s efforts, Diana calls them both up, and asks them to perform a routine together for her. She turns on her CD, ‘Top Belly Dancing Songs of 2018′, and presses play. Dan and Phil end up doing the worst routine Diana has ever seen in her life and dies instantly from her stomach setting fire due to the embarrassment and shame brought on to her family and country.
The End.
