#9-7-16

[jumanaabroad]

It’s been a while

Hello all,

I know it’s been a while since ive posted on here but i’ve been really busy this last week.

to summarize, I was in istanbul until thursday, Thursday night I arrived in Amman, and now i am with my host family. It’s been a bit weird being here. everything is desert and my host family doesnt speak too much english (but i guess that will help with my arabic). Idk 

My host family is a young couple, the mother works at the university I am going to attend when the semester officially starts in October. The father is an engineer and they have two kids, 5yo and a 2yo(who is still afraid of me). 

anyways, this week we started our intensive arabic class to help some of us get up to speed with the rest of the students before we begin the regular semester. and it’s just really annoying because of the five students who are here only me and one other girl have taken more than one year of arabic classes. I can’t really complain because they needed the numbers to make the trip possible, but really my arabic is probably at an elementary school level and i am still the best in the class and the only one who really understands what the teacher is saying most of the time. so i usually do the assignments within about three minutes and have been spending the rest of the class period trying to stay awake (im still a little jetlaged) and reading Game of Thrones (I’m at the part where Bran has his dream about what’s going on around him while he’s comatose)... 

Additionally the rest of them have already started relying on me to help them understand what our bus driver says, or our waiter, or random people we meet in the shops. it’s kinda annoying because I am not supposed to be their crutch but they really only know the language in the abstract sense and cant even begin with the colloquial dialect yet so im stuck with the job of interpreter -_- (one of the guys even said yesterday that to outsiders i probably looked like their tour guide)

we also started working at our internship with Caritas Jordan which was fun. they work with the huge refugee population here in Jordan (when i say huge i mean over the last 5 decades or so they have taken in Palestinians, Syrians, and Iraqis among others and have resettled them in Jordan). I was mostly working with the Syrian refugees who came in, mainly pointing them in the direction of the waiting area and photocopying their IDs, but it was still fun. I got to actually help out with something i’ve been passionate about for the last couple of years. My supervisor yesterday was telling me that working with them for a month will make me pretty fluent, so fingers crossed. 

We also keep getting lost, there’s so many winding streets and the buildings all look fairly similar to one another so it is going to take some time to get used to the routes. but i’ll figure it out soon enough... bye for now

[pluviophilicmisanthrope-blog]

I'm done being heartbroken it's time to be the heartbreaker

[hi-i-am-artemis]

Di mo alam kung gaano ko gustong tumakbo sa mga braso mo para malayo nako sa mga problemang matagal ko nang dinadamdam. Madali lang naman i assume na masaya nako e, na wala na akong problema. Kasi kakauwi lang ng ate ko galing sa USA. Akala mo siguro namamasasa na ako sa masasayang bagay. Pero hindi yun yung point e, kung masaya na nga ako. Bakit kailangan mong sirain? Hindi ba't dapat maging masaya ka sakin kasi bihira lang maging maayos pamilya ko. Kasi alam mo kung gaano ka fucked up yung buhay ko. Pero hindi mo siguro ako mahal, kasi kung mahal mo ko, masaya ka sa lahat ng nagpapasaya sakin. Kasi ganon ang pagmamahal diba? Gugustuhin mo yung magagandang bagay para sa taong yun. Pero hindi, iba ka, hindi ka masaya na masaya ako ngayon. Gusto mo, pag maayos yung pamilya ko, guguluhin mo yung relasyon natin para hindi ako kahit kelan mawawalan ng problema. Bakit ganon? Alam mo, gusto ko sanang ikwento sayo na ang dami ko pa ding problema. Kasi yung tatay ko, pinalayas nanaman ng nanay ko. Hindi mo alam kung gaano kasakit yung nakaka-kain ka ng masarap pero iniisip mo yung tatay mo kung naka kain na kaya siya ng ayos kasi masarap yung ulam niyo sa bahay pero wala siya. Hindi mo alam yung pakiramdam nang takot nakong maging masaya kasi alam kong panandalian lang ang lahat. Oo nga pala, hindi naman nagpapakasasa buhay ko dito kasi taga punas ako ng sahig, taga alaga ng bata, taga linis ng bahay, oo tama utusan ako. Utusan ako dito. Masaya ko na kahit konti, kasi kahit papano kumpleto kami. Madaming bata. Minsan lang ako maging ganitong kasaya. Tapos, kahapon tinetext naman kita e. Nilalambing nga kita kasi masama pakiramdam ko. Malakas kasi regla ko. Masakit yung ulo ko. Masakit balakang ko. Masakit pati ulo ko. Gusto ko mahiga pero inuutusan pa kasi ako. Hiniling ko pa nga na magpaload ka para makapag text tayo. Pero hindi ko kasi kaya hatiin katawan ko. Sinabi ko sayong ang dami kong ginawa, kahit na masama na pakiramdam ko ako lang mag isa sa mga gawain. Pero, ang text mo lang, parang mas concerned ka pa sa na-misplace kong broadband mo at naiirita ka kasi hindi ko mahanap. Grabe, sobra na. Parang nag click lahat tas nasaktan nako. Kasi sobra na lahat. Hindi ganun ang pagmamahal. Gusto ko lang sana ng lambing mo, kasi nga pagod ako. Pero tinulugan mo pa ako. Tinext nalang kita ng malambing para bukas, okay na tayo. Ang haba nung text ko. Pero ang text mo lang nung umaga wala ka man lang ka buhay buhay parang sinasabi mo lang na sorry at natulugan moko, pero hindi ka nagsosorry sa pananakit ng damdamin ko. Hindi mo ko aso, nasa relasyon tayo. Hindi mo dapat ako pinagsasabihan kung anong isusuot ko, anong gagawin ko, at kung saan ako pupunta. Hindi ko kasalanan kung wala kang tiwala, kasi ginawa ko na lahat para magtiwala ka. Pero, parang wala namang kwenta yung ginagawa ko. Maaaring nakagawa ako ng masamang bagay before, pero wala ka naman karapatan para iparamdam sakin na wala akong kwnetang babae. O, pokpok ako, malandi ako, makati ako. Kung sasaktan mo lang ako ng sasaktan, sige na. Tanggap ko nang lalayo ka nalang. Kada sasabihin mo sakin kung niloloko ba kita o may kasama akong iba o nag iisip ka na ng masama, nasasaktan ako. Kasi, ramdam na ramdam kong mababang babae ang tingin mo sa akin. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na nung akala kong buntis ako, mas gugustuhin ko pang ipalaglag, kasi natatakot na ako sayo. Pakiramdam ko, magpapalaki lang ako ng batang hindi naman mamahalin ng ama niya. Ayoko na. Sobrang sakit na, sinabihan kita dati na wag mo akong papagudin, kasi darating yung panahon na mapapagod nako sa inyong lahat. Oo, SA INYONG LAHAT. KUNG AYAW MO NA, SIGE, MALAYA KA NA. Ayoko nang masaktan pa ulit. Utang na loob. Ikaw na pinagkatiwalaan kong maglalayo sakin sa sakit at problema, ikaw na mismo ang nagpaparamdam sakin na wala akong kwenta at hindi ko deserve magkaroon ng pahalaga. Pinaramdam mo na sakin lahat, saya galit at sakit. Hindi ako yung mahal mo, may gusto kang iba na hindi ako kaya sinusubukan mo akong baguhin. Ito ako, e. Nagsusuot ako ng ganoong mga damit na ayaw mo. Iba ang pananaw ko sa buhay. Mahilig ako sa photoshoot. Lahat ng ayaw mo, nasa akin. Kaya nasasaktan ako, kasi parang pinapapili moko between sa pagmamahal sa totoong ako o ikaw. At hindi pagmamahal ang paghiling sa pag babago ng mga bagay na bumubuo ng pagkatao ko. Ito ako, pasensya na kung hindi mo mahal ang totoong ako. Pero, alam mo nanaman siguro sa sarili mo na minahal kita ng buo at wala akong ibang hiniling sayo.

[agents-of-france]

Do you play Pokémon Go?

Do we play Pokémon Go? Do we play Pokémon Go?

Let me give you a taste of the hell we’ve been in since this damn game came out. 

Within fifteen minutes of all of us downloading the game we had found every Pokémon in the base (which, coincidentally, has a gym located at it) and within the immediate vicinity. There have been multiple explosive battles over the gym that spilled into physical fights (I don’t say explosive lightly), and Bossuet has been punched twice and walked into four walls. I don’t even know if Bahorel has the game or if he’s just pretending to make us all want to fight him. 

Enjolras vanished almost immediately and I’d say he was trying to get away but I’m fairly sure he’s been wandering the area catching Pokémon for the last four hours. The director has placed a preemptive ban on phones for the next mission to keep us from driving around chasing Pokémon and getting ourselves killed. At least six people have showed up at the base to try and take over the gym. Courf and Gav are stealing people’s phones because theirs aren’t replaced yet or are too old to download it, respectively. I have already lost all my Pokéballs. 

And R has over 75 Pokémon and tried to convince me to hack into various credit accounts and FRANCE’s general funding to buy him more incense, Pokéballs and eggs. The worst thing is? I’m tempted. -Joly