Gwyn smiled at the pair and sat on the side of the bed to be close to her eldest son.
"How are you feeling, sweetheart?"
"Better now. Though, I'm still kind of cold but the warming blankets are helping with that and I still get tremors sometimes. They're more worried about my heart, lungs and kidneys right now." TK said, grabbing his mum's hand. "We should get some results back soon."
Gwyn nodded and squeezed his hand.
"I feel like I should be used to seeing you in a hospital bed but I never am."
"I'm sorry, mum."
or five times Gwyn was at the hospital with TK pre-canon + 1 time she was with him during canon.
1 - one hour and six minutes old ; 1994
Gwyneth Strand was sitting on her hospital bed, her eyes closed and trying to relax despite all the noises coming from the hallway and the stress she felt at not having her son in her arms and away from her. Owen had gone outside the hospital at her request to try to find some actual good food for both of them. Turns out giving birth to a baby took a lot of energy and left you hungry.
The door opened and Gwyn opened her eyes right away, starting to smile when she saw a nurse coming in, her arms holding her son wrapped in a blanket.
"Here you go, Mrs Strand." The nurse said, giving her back her son. "Everything looks good, you have a perfectly healthy boy."
"Thank you." Gwyn replied, focusing back all her attention on the boy in her arms.
The nurse left and Gwyn found herself alone with her son for the first time since she gave birth. She raised one finger and caressed the cheek of her son before touching his little nose. He scrunched it in response and she leaned down to kiss his now-clean forehead.
She observed him for a minute or so and after a moment, he opened his eyes. His green eyes met hers and while she knew they could very well change colours over time, she hoped they would stay the same colour as hers.
"Hello sweet boy." Gwyn whispered, softly caressing his chin, then cheeks.
A 911/911 Lone Star collaboration fic by @silvarafael and @marjansmarwani
Summary: When TK hears that there is a kid trapped in the wildfire of course he volunteers to go up in the helicopter to help find him. When Buck catches wind of the plan, naturally he signs up too. And everything’s great, until it isn’t. Suddenly they are thrust into a life and death situation with only each other to get them out of it and the desperate hope that their teams find them in time.
(Or, 2x03 with a twist.)
Notes: This idea came to me (Jamie) probably the day after the crossover aired and I outlined it but it was one of those things that I was never sure if it would ever fully come to be. But Jillian also was in love with the idea, and offered to write it with me, so together we made it happen!
Also featuring some input from @paramedicstrand - since Max was also involved in the early stages of writing! (yes, this was truly a group effort).
Beta’d by @justaswampdemon and @sunshinestrand 💗💗
“I’ll go up.”
The words are out of his mouth before he even registers what exactly he’s volunteering for. All he knows is that there is someone who needs help, and that’s what he’s here to do.
Owen’s head darts towards him. “I just said I don’t feel comfortable sending anyone up in the chopper. Do you really think I’m going to send my only son up there alone? Absolutely not.”
“Uh, he wouldn’t be alone,” Buck awkwardly shifts next to him. TK had not even noticed that the other man had followed him over to the tent. “I would go with him.”
TK studies the other man carefully. The pair had only spent a few hours together, yet here he was offering to put his life on the line and volunteering to go on what he could only describe as a suicide mission.
“I don’t know about sending two of our best firefighters up there. With the way the wind is shifting, it’s not safe for anyone.”
“What do you think, you’re going to go up?” TK cuts in. He knows Owen was considering it. Someone has to go up to search for the kid and if he doesn’t want to send anyone else up, that’s code for he’s going up alone. “You’ve had enough brushes with death.”
“And you haven’t?” Owen stares at TK intently, with TK returning the glare. They are both aware of the time being wasted by arguing. Though TK has no intention of backing down any time soon.
Finally, Owen sighs. “Fine. Please be careful, both of you. And keep your radios on. We don’t need any more rescues today.”
TK shares a look with Buck, giving him a light pat on the back before they grab their gear and head toward the helicopter.
Even If You Stumble A Step, You’re Still Moving Forward
Summary: TK and Carlos move into their new home post-finale and TK doesn't exactly make the best first impression on their new neighbors...
Notes: this was like a fever dream i had a few months ago and then i stopped writing but decided to revive it last night so... here we are. also title creds (and emotional support creds) to jillian @marjansmarwani because this fic wouldn’t exist without her. and also s/o to brit @moviegeek03 for being extra supportive of yet another fic where [spoiler] tk falls down the stairs again :/
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TK shuffles through the maze of boxes stacked several feet high throughout their new home. The scene shouldn’t surprise him considering it was only a few months ago he was moving his own boxes into their old home. However it feels different knowing that most of this stuff isn’t actually theirs.
Well, it is theirs now he figures. But the fact remains that most of the stuff filling the space was either given to them by various members of the extended 126 family, or was recently purchased by TK or Carlos on one of their many trips to Bed Bath and Beyond.
They had taken their time searching for a new place to live. Owen had made it clear that they were both welcome to stay with him (and Mateo) for as long as they needed, but TK had known it was time.
So when a townhome popped up on Zillow that met all their criteria, they wasted no time booking an appointment with the realtor. They both had instantly fallen in love with the open floor plan and deck out back. Plus they knew the extra bedrooms upstairs may come in handy someday.
While they knew the vertical layout of the home itself wasn’t the best, having more stairs than either of them were used to, it checked every other box and was right in their price range so they had wasted no time signing the lease.
A few days had passed since settlement and now most of their days were spent trying to unpack and make this new house into a home. It would never replace the one they had lost, but it had been exciting to build this new home together.
Though on this particular day, TK found himself alone in trying to get settled in since Carlos had a shift. With the 126 still out of commission, possibly forever, and the department not having any openings for paramedics, most of the unpacking was left for TK.
After getting a good chunk of the living room done, he checks the time and decides to go out and see if the mail has come yet. Not that he’s expecting anything with their address still being so new, and not getting much physical mail anyway to begin with. But it still provided a good excuse to take a break.
TK opens the front door and starts to make his way down the set of stairs leading down.
He makes it about halfway before his attention is caught by one of his new next door neighbors, Mr. Martin- if he remembers correctly, exiting at the same time. Mr. Martin gives a friendly wave and TK goes to return the gesture.
Except, he’s not paying attention when he takes the next step, and he misses, his heel just barely hitting the edge of the step before he starts to go down. He tumbles until he comes to a hard stop at the bottom, with most of his weight coming down on his right knee, sending shooting pains up and down his leg.
The rest of his body is sore, and by the time his ears stop ringing, he can just barely make out a new female voice asking “Sir, are you okay?”
He opens his eyes, which he had not even realized he had squeezed shut at some point, to see his neighbor, Mrs. Bailey- his brain supplies, from across the street making her way over to check on him, worried lines painting across her forehead.
“Yes, ma’am. I’m fine,” he grimaces while pushing himself up to a seated position. He tries to hide the blush forming on his cheeks. Not the best way to make a good first impression on his neighbors.
“Are you sure, son? We can call for help if you need it. Someone you know, or 9-1-1?” Mr. Martin joins in the conversation.
“No!” TK interjects too quickly, startling both neighbors. He panics for a moment when the weight of the predicament settles in. He meets the gaze of both figures still staring at him, clearly concerned and waiting for him to say something. “I mean, I’m a paramedic. I’m fine. Or I will be fine. Thank you,” he flashes them both a quick smile before pushing himself up off the ground, ignoring the sharp pains that radiate from his knee when he tries to put any weight on it.
Getting back up the stairs is no easy feat, and he doesn’t have to turn around to know that both Mr. Martin and Mrs. Bailey are still watching him, concerned. Fortunately, they don’t know him well enough to try and follow or help. He’s not sure he would feel comfortable enough receiving help from some strangers. Half the time he doesn’t even feel comfortable receiving help from the people he does know.
He leans heavily on the railing, refusing to turn around out of fear of further mortification. Once he’s inside the home, he collapses right inside the hall, unable to go any further since his knee decided to stop cooperating.
A few tears pool in his eyes, and he’s unsure if that’s due to the pain or embarrassment. Not knowing what else to do, he takes out his phone and shoots a quick text to Carlos.
TK: we have to move
It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for the three dots to pop up before being replaced by Carlos’ response.
Carlos: ???
TK sighs and rubs his face, trying to figure out the best way to explain the situation.
TK: i feel down the stairs out front and all the neighbors saw
Carlos: Holy shit, are you okay??
He lets out a puff of air at that.
TK: you mean besides my bruised ego?
TK: no, i hurt my knee but i’m fine. that’s not the issue here.
Carlos: Okay, I’ll be home in an hour and you can let me be the judge of that. If I see any swelling, we’re going to the doctor.”
He rolls his eyes at Carlos’ worry. At worst, it’s a bad sprain, nothing that can’t be fixed with some icing and wrapping. But there are other things they need to worry about.
TK: you’re missing the point, carlos. the entire neighborhood thinks i’m an idiot. we can’t live here anymore.
TK knows he’s being dramatic, but the more he thinks about it, the more embarrassed he gets. The idea that these are people he’s going to have to continue to face everyday for the foreseeable future. And that now all they’ll be able to think about when they do see him. Now he’ll just be known as the guy who can’t walk down stairs.
Carlos: Relax, TK. I’ll be home soon.
TK: you mean our temporary place of residence which we will soon be moving out of
He doesn’t get a response after that.
His mind continues to spiral while he waits for Carlos to arrive. He knows the other man is likely climbing the walls trying to leave his shift early but it would still be awhile before he could be allowed to leave.
Left alone with his thoughts, his mind keeps playing out the series of events that happened minutes ago. He can't help but beat himself up over embarrassing himself like that. Ironically enough, it’s not even the first time he’s fallen down stairs, having taken a tumble down the stairs in Carlos’ place a few months back. And of course he would manage to injure himself that time, and this time as well.
He should at least try to get up so he can find an ice pack to lessen the swelling. Sitting on the floor up against the wall can’t be doing his knee any favors. Yet he can’t bring himself to move, instead resting his head back against the wall and sighing.
TK pulls out his phone again, cycling through the apps until he hears the tell-tale keys jingling in the already unlocked door.
As soon as Carlos steps through the door, he nearly trips over TK in the doorway. “Woah, hey! TK, are you okay?” he crouches down to TK’s level.
TK shrugs. Now that he’s face to face with Carlos, he can’t help but feel suffocated by another person judging him, even if Carlos’ worry comes from a place of concern.
“Can I take a look at your knee?”
TK nods, allowing Carlos to gently inspect his swollen joint. He winces as Carlos traces his hand around his kneecap.
“This doesn’t look good, babe. I think we need to go to the hospital.”
“No, it’s fine,” he quickly shakes his head. The worried look in Carlos’ eyes only makes his heart ache, and he can only try to find ways to make it go away. “Just help me up and we can ice it. It will look better once the swelling goes down a bit.”
Carlos gives him a look that screams I don’t believe you but sighs. “Fine, but if it doesn’t…”
“I know, I know. You’ll drag my ass to the emergency room,” TK gives him a reassuring smile.
Carlos returns the smile, and extends a hand to help TK up. TK accepts, and allows Carlos to take on most of his weight once he’s standing. They slowly make their way over to the living room, with Carlos softly depositing TK onto the sofa. He then disappears into the kitchen before returning with an ice pack in hand.
“Thanks,” TK smiles, trying to mask the wince as Carlos places the pack onto his knee.
“Do you want to watch an episode of The Office?” Carlos asks, picking up the remote and settling in the spot next to TK.
TK shrugs, knowing that Carlos is just trying to appeal to him by offering to put on his favorite show. The other man doesn’t even like the show that much, often finding the humor dry and tasteless, but TK thinks he just doesn’t get it.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
There it is.
“I just can’t believe I did that in front of our new neighbors. They probably think I’m an idiot.”
“I’m sure no one thinks you’re an idiot, TK,” Carlos gently reassures him.
“Yeah all the neighbors saw me make an idiot of myself,” TK sighs exasperatedly. “God, how am I supposed to face these people everyday now?”
“Hate to break it to you babe, but this is not a valid reason for us to move.”
“I know,” he sighs again.
“Besides,” Carlos continues. “If your track record has proven anything, it’s that this won’t be the last medical emergency at our new home. It’s good that the neighbors are getting used to it now.”
TK gives him a pointed look.
“I’m pretty sure this is the second time you’ve fallen down the stairs since we’ve started dating,” Carlos says with a light chuckle.
“Whatever,” TK scoffs. “At least the other time it wasn’t in front of total strangers.”
Carlos softens. “That’s true. But I’m sure the neighbors just care about you. I don’t think this is that big of a deal, TK.”
“You weren’t there though. It was mortifying.”
“What did they say, exactly?”
TK nervously looks down. “They asked if I was okay. And if I needed any help.”
Carlos raises his eyebrow, waiting to see if TK continues.
“They offered to call for help but I said no and went back inside.”
“See? They just care about you TK. I haven’t really talked to anyone yet but they seem like nice people.”
“I guess,” TK shrugs.
“I know, you’re still embarrassed. But if nothing else, they’ll probably forget about it by the next time we see them.”
“You don’t think I’ll be known as the ‘clumsy neighbor who can’t walk down stairs’?”
“Maybe the ‘cute clumsy neighbor that can’t walk down stairs,’” Carlos says with a smirk. “But we could always change that.”
TK cocks his head to the side.
“You think our new neighbors might enjoy some peach scones when we go over and have a proper introduction?”
“You really plan to charm our new neighbors with your baking?”
“You think it will work?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then yes, I do,” Carlos grins proudly. He then leans over and gently removes the ice pack from TK’s knee, grimacing at what he sees. “This still looks pretty swollen, babe. I think we need to go to the hospital.”
TK gives him a pained smile. “You sure I can’t talk my way out of this?”
“Nope,” Carlos says, popping the p. He stands up before extending his hand to help TK do the same.
TK accepts, shifting his weight and leaning into Carlos once he’s fully upright.
“You know, I think you may have a paramedic blindspot when it comes to your own health.”
TK lets out a light laugh. “Yeah, I’ve been told.”
A week later, Carlos softly knocks on the door of Mrs. Bailey’s home across the street with one hand and a plate of peach scones in the other. TK had offered to hold the scones but when they went over to Mr. Martin's home earlier in the day, it was quickly discovered it was too difficult for him to manage getting up the stairs and holding the plate.
So he settles for letting Carlos do most of the work while he awkwardly limps up the stairs, leaning heavily on the railing to keep some pressure off his knee.
After their quick trip to the emergency room, it had been determined that TK’s initial assessment was right and it was just a bad sprain. He was given a brace to help reduce the pain and a pair of crutches, which (much to Carlos’ dismay) he abandoned after only two days, citing that they only made it harder to get around their home which he can now say for certain has too many damn stairs.
A problem which seems to follow him as he also has to get up the stairs to greet his neighbors.
“Maybe we should have moved to a neighborhood of single level homes,” he states with a wince as he joins Carlos at the front door.
Carlos snorts. “We can take it into consideration if we ever have to move again.”
“God, please don’t say that. I don’t want to think about moving ever again.”
“Good,” Carlos gives him a soft smile. “Because I’m planning on staying here for the long run.”
“Me too,” TK returns the smile just as Mrs. Bailey opens the door.
“What a lovely surprise!” she exclaims taking in the sight of the two men.
“Hello ma’am,” Carlos says with a polite smile.
“We brought you some scones,” TK adds, gesturing to the plate in Carlos’ hands.
“Oh how thoughtful of you. Please come in. How are you doing?” she asks, turning to TK. “I’ve been worried.”
He exchanges a look with Carlos, the other man's face clearly saying I told you she cares, before turning back to Mrs. Bailey.
“I’m fine, ma’am. Thank you for asking. It’s just a bad sprain. But I do appreciate your concern, especially the other week.”
“Oh, of course dear,” she says with a warm smile. “Now, you boys aren’t going to make me eat these scones all by myself are you?”
They both let out a light chuckle and exchange another glance before following their new neighbor, and friend inside.
Summary: A call at an ice rink leads to some painful consequences for TK
Written for the “broken ribs” square on my @badthingshappenbingo card, which was requested by @paramedicstrand 27 years ago and i finally wrote it <3
Beta and emotional support provided by @marjansmarwani
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“You know, I practically grew up on the ice back in New York,” TK says, unable to hide the grin as they pull the ambulance up to the ice rink. Not to say he’s excited that someone hurt themselves on the ice, but he hadn’t found time to ice skate since moving to Austin so there was a part of him that looked forward to revisiting the ice.
“Wow, you’re from New York? You’ve never mentioned it before,” Nancy feigns sarcasm with a playful roll of her eyes.
“Ha ha, we’ll just have to see who's most comfortable once we actually get out the ice,” TK quickly retorts as Tommy gives them both a warning look. They lapse into a comfortable silence as they work together to get all the necessary supplies before heading out onto the rink.
As soon as TK steps foot onto the ice, he begins to wobble before quickly regaining his balance. He glances over to Nancy, hoping she didn’t see that but her mischievous grin says otherwise.
“Thought you grew up on the ice?”
He gives her a tight smile. “Well, it has been a while… Also I think the ice in Texas is extra slippery.”
“Whatever you say, dude,” Nancy says with a small chuckle.
Tommy, for her part, pushes past the two of them, walking across the ice with ease towards the patient. Through the crowd standing in a circle, TK can make out a young teenage boy carefully cradling his wrist against his chest.
Once they make their way over with only a few slips on both their parts, Nancy and TK busy themselves behind their Captain, getting all the supplies together as she addresses the patient.
“Hey there, my name’s Tommy. What’s yours?”
“Jimmy,” the young kid stutters out.
“Jimmy, can you tell me what happened?”
As Tommy tends to the patient, Nancy and TK prep the bandages and split. Stealing a side glance at the offending wrist, it does appear to be a compound fracture and TK winces in sympathy. He doesn’t wait for Tommy to ask before prepping an IV line in the hopes of providing some pain relief for Jimmy.
They work in a comfortable silence as Tommy carefully wraps the boy's injured arm before Nancy hands her the splint. They then ease Jimmy up to a standing position.
“You good to wrap up here, Strand?” Tommy turns and asks TK.
“Sure thing, Cap,” TK replies with a smile, watching as Tommy and Nancy carefully escort Jimmy toward the waiting ambulance.
He takes the time to pack up what’s left of their supplies before standing up, intending to follow them.
Except when he goes to stand, he must do so too quickly because before he can even process what’s happening, he finds himself losing his balance and struggling to remain upright on the slippery ice. His surroundings seem to blur as he falls back down, face first onto the ice. The moment his body collides with the ice, TK swears he can hear the audible cracking of his ribs from the pressure.
He winces as he pushes himself back into a seated position, ignoring the sharp protests coming from his chest and the cold ice shavings digging into his raw palms.
He takes a few seconds to glance around and see if anyone noticed. Other than a few side glances from various skaters gliding around the rink, no one seems to be giving him much attention. And by this point, Tommy and Nancy are loading Jimmy into the ambulance, too far away to see what had happened.
All of which means he’s on his own.
Left with no other option, he grabs his medical bag which had fallen with him onto the ice and forces himself to stand back up onto the ice, this time much more carefully. He slowly makes his way towards the opening on the side of the rink, using his arm to hold his chest tightly and relishing in the relief that it provides from the pain.
When he arrives at the back of the ambulance, he removes his arm supporting his chest and does his best to mask the pained expression. He must not do a great job though because Nancy gives him a questioning look.
“The ice is slippery,” he shrugs, giving his partner a reassuring smile. “I’m good though.”
The little voice in the back of his head is screaming that he should tell her or Tommy that he’s not actually good. That his chest feels like it’s on fire and each breath feels like knives stabbing him in the lungs.
But whether it’s out of pride or convenience's sake, he keeps his mouth shut and Nancy seems to accept his answer.
He shuts the doors on the back of the ambulance and slides into the driver's seat. If there had been any doubt that he was hurt, the seat belt digging into his rib cage and sending sharp pains radiating through the rest of his body confirmed it.
He suppresses the groan that threatens to escape from his mouth and sends a silent prayer that his teammates in the back of the rig don’t notice anything amiss.
All he can do is drive and choke back the tears that well in the corners of his eyes at each minor bump in the road.
The emergency room doors can’t appear in his line of sight soon enough. And fortunately he doesn’t have to do much as the hospital staff unload the stretcher, giving TK a few minutes to collect himself before he comes face to face with his partner and captain.
He takes a deep breath before pulling the keys out of the ignition and exiting the ambulance. Spotting Nancy on the side of the rig, he gives her a nod and hands her the keys. “It’s your lucky day, Gillian. You can drive back to the station.”
She raises her eyebrows curiously before shrugging. “I would question it, but I’m going to say yes before you change your mind.”
The ride back to the station passes by in a blur. He tries his best not to let on that anything is wrong and even with Nancy now sitting next to him, neither she nor Tommy seem to pick up on the pained grimaces or the fact that he’s much quieter than usual.
Once they are parked, TK wastes no time exiting the ambulance and ducking up the stairs towards the locker room, avoiding the curious glances of other members of the 126. Locking himself in a bathroom stall, he carefully unbuttons his uniform shirt before sliding his soft grey undershirt over his head. The movement only further aggravates his ribs and he can’t help the hisses of pain that escape from his lips.
He takes a shaky breath before glancing down, his face scrunching up in a wince at the sight of his chest. Though the fall only happened less than an hour ago, the faint outline of various shades of purple and blue are already beginning to paint his rib cage. Tentatively, he ghosts his fingers along the bruising and inhales sharply at the pain the soft touch causes.
At minimum, it’s very bad bruising. But more likely, he has a few fractured, possibly broken ribs.
He debates going to Tommy and confessing what had happened. It’s unlikely he would be able to last the rest of his shift like this and his paramedic brain is screaming that he needs actual medical attention.
But the urge to power through is too strong. Despite how loud the voice is telling that this is bad, the voice arguing back that maybe it isn’t that bad is louder.
There’s no reason to cut his shift short for this and make a big deal out of it. In fact, glancing at his watch shows that there’s only an hour left. Not that he wants to jinx it, but it’s likely that they won’t even get called to another scene. Besides, coming clean would also lead to not just his paramedic team, but the entire station finding out that he got hurt. Again.
No, that won’t be necessary today. He will power through the rest of his shift, looking forward to the moment he gets home and can ice his ribs.
He can do this.
Getting his uniform back on is no easy task, with sliding his undershirt over his again hurting him even more than when he slid it off. He settles for just wearing the undershirt for now, grabbing his blue uniform shirt before exiting the stall.
Re-entering the locker room, he hastily shoves the shirt in his locker, figuring he can hang it up later when it doesn’t feel like he’s about to pass out if he moves the wrong way. He takes a moment to breathe, suppressing the panic when he begins to notice how hard it is to take deep breaths.
“Hey, man. You good?”
TK’s head darts up, caught off guard by the entrance of Paul into the locker room, but he quickly catches himself and smiles. “Yeah, just a rough call earlier. How’s your shift been?”
Paul studies him carefully and TK knows he can sense the deflection and quick pivot in the conversation. But at this point Paul has known him long enough not to press, knowing that TK needs the space and will come to him if and when he needs to.
“It's been a little Q-word around here, so not too bad. Looking forward to a few days off after this, though,” Paul smiles.
“Yeah, I hear that.”
Paul looks like he’s about to say something else before he’s cut off by the alarms blasting through the house. TK lets out a sigh of relief when Paul looks away that it’s only fire being called to the scene, and not ambo.
When Paul turns back to him, they share a look and Paul shrugs. “Duty calls,” he brushes past TK, giving him a light pat on the back as he exits the area. A gesture which normally wouldn’t be much, but today it makes him see stars.
Fortunately, Paul is already out of sight as TK tries to regain his composure. He rests his back against the hard wood of the locker door and tries to stop the tears as he struggles to breathe through the pain, with each breath seeming like it filled up less and less of his lungs. His ribs continue to throb, sending aches throughout the rest of his body and he wonders how he’ll be able to make it through the next 45 or so minutes.
Fortunately, the rest of the shift does fly by and he’s able to take it easy. The rest of the station doesn’t return from the rescue they were called to until near the end of his shift, so he only has to avoid Tommy and Nancy. With the former holed up in her office doing incident reports and Nancy reading in the common area, he is able to find refuge in the bunk room trying to rest and hoping that the alarms don’t go off again while he counts down the minutes until end of shift.
His prayers are answered once the second hand on his watch clicks past the hour and he’s officially off duty.
It doesn’t take long for a text to come through from Carlos that he’s outside the station waiting to pick him up. TK smiles to himself at the thought that his boyfriend was probably also counting down until the end of TK’s shift and was itching to see him as soon as possible, hence why he showed up at the 126. It’s a gesture TK has grown used to in the nearly a year that they’ve been together.
He forgoes changing out of his uniform, whether that’s because he’s anxious to see Carlos or he knows it would cause too much pain is unclear. Instead, he quietly slips out of the bunkroom and exits the station before anyone can spot him.
“Hey,” Carlos greets him with a warm smile while leaning against the side of his Camaro.
“Hey yourself.”
TK approaches Carlos, pressing a soft kiss onto his lips before Carlos pulls him into a hug. Though he tries not to blackout from the pain and to focus instead on inhaling the familiar scent of Carlos’ laundry detergent, he cannot hide the involuntary wince of as his body contracts out of pain.
Carlos quickly pulls away, scanning him up and down. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh,” TK nervously laughs and gives him a thin smile. “It’s nothing.”
“TK,” Carlos gives him a pointed look and before TK can stop him, Carlos is pulling up his shirt. His eyes widen as he takes in the bruising which has only continued to grow in the time since TK had last checked.
“It looks worse than it is.”
Carlos scowls, clearly not believing him. “Did you get checked out?”
“No. Well, it happened near the end of my shift and I figured that if I could just wait it out…” he trails off, shifting uncomfortably.
Carlos shakes his head before pulling TK’s shirt back down and grabbing his hand. He doesn’t say a word until they are back inside the truck bay, scanning the area until he locks eyes with Nancy exiting from the common area, on her way out of the station.
“Nancy, do you mind hanging back a sec and taking a look at TK? He got hurt on shift but didn’t want to tell any of you.”
Nancy’s eyes dart between the two of them before she drops her bag and ushers TK over to the back of the ambulance. He wordlessly follows and eases himself down onto the back bench, grimacing in pain now that there’s no reason to hide it.
At Carlos’ nod, he slides his shirt over his head, revealing the full extent of his bruised chest to both Carlos and Nancy.
“What the fuck, Strand?” Nancy exclaims as her eyes go wide. “When did this happen?”
“Remember when I said the ice was slippery…”
Nancy curses again under her breath before turning to Carlos. “Can you go grab Captain Vega? If she hasn’t left yet, I think we’re going to be making one more trip to the hospital today.”
“That’s really not necessary. Carlos can just drive me there. Right, babe?”
Carlos looks between him and Nancy, seemingly unsure of what his place is in this moment. “I’m staying out of this one. But I do agree Tommy needs to know.”
He disappears up the stairs, leaving TK and Nancy in a moment of awkward silence.
TK knows he should say something. Explain what had happened exactly and why he didn’t speak up before. Even though their relationship had gotten off to a rocky start, TK now considers her one of his closest friends. And it’s clear she feels the same about him, caring deeply that he’s injured. Especially after what had happened to Tim, he feels bad to be causing his partner this much stress.
But he lacks the words to properly communicate that so they sit in silence and wait for Carlos to return with Tommy. They don’t have to wait long as the pair arrives a few moments later.
“So, you want to tell me what happened here, Strand?” Tommy asks, taking a seat next to TK to start her assessment.
“The ice betrayed me,” he says, earning pointed looks from all three of his friends. He shakes his head before continuing, “I slipped on the ice after you and Nancy left. Might’ve cracked a few ribs.”
Tommy hums in agreement as she runs her fingers along his chest, earning a few painful hisses from TK. “Yeah, I’d have to agree with that assessment. Alright, up on the gurney you go.”
TK opens his mouth to argue but Tommy gives him a look usually only reserved for her daughters when they try to talk their way out of going to bed early. So he quickly closes his mouth and lets his shoulders sag. “Yes, Cap.”
She gives him a sympathetic smile and assists him in getting settled onto the gurney. It’s an unspoken agreement that Carlos is welcome to ride along, with him making himself comfortable on the bench next to TK. They lock eyes and Carlos grabs his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
Nancy’s worried eyes also don’t leave TK. Tommy must notice because she quickly offers to drive, leaving the three of them in the back before anyone can say otherwise.
“I’m really sorry I scared you both,” TK says to Carlos and Nancy after a few beats of silence.
“I hate to say I’m used to it but,” Carlos lets out a light chuckle. “I’m always going to worry about you though. But, I am glad you’re okay today and I just wish you could get it out of your stubborn head that it’s okay to ask for help from your teammates. It’s kind of what they're trained to do.”
“Yeah, I know,” TK casts his gaze down unsurely before meeting Nancy’s eye. The other paramedic had yet to say a word and the apology was for her as much as it was for Carlos.
A small smile forms on her face. “Yeah, what he said. If you could at least try to go a few weeks without getting hurt next time, I would really appreciate it.”
“Okay, deal,” he extends his hand as far as he can without putting too much strain on his ribs for her to shake. Despite how much he tries, the motion does still provide a painful reminder of his injuries and he can’t hide the grimace that forms on his face.
Nancy gives his hand a quick shake before placing his hand back at his side. “Easy there, dude.”
He shoots her a quick smile before locking eyes with Carlos again, grateful to have two people who care about him by his side.
Summary: TK thought he was getting adjusted to living in Austin, but just when things seem to be settled, the station suffers a loss and he finds himself making the transfer to paramedic on Michelle’s team. Unfortunately, danger still finds him...
or a very bad summary for what is essentially TK makes the transition to paramedic in s1, and what i think could have happened in 1x05.
Notes: this is a very, very late birthday fic for my dear friend @moviegeek03 — brit, i am so glad to call you my friend and attend so many virtual cons together and have someone that i know will always talk whump with me, and find literally anyway to make something angsty. i know you don’t mind that this is late, but i’m still sorry and i really hope you enjoy 💗
also the only reason this actually got finished was because @aliceschuyler wrote the parts that i had been stuck on for a while now; everyone say thank you alice 😊
It had been six weeks of adjustments.
They’d only been in Austin for two months when the unthinkable had happened.
They’d lost one of their own.
Tim Rosewater had offered to follow Owen into an unstable building, barely standing after a tornado had touched down, with word that two children were trapped inside. That had been the last time anyone had seen him alive, and the loss had hit the 126 hard.
TK had stepped in to help Nancy and Michelle with their patients as Judd, Mateo, Paul and Marjan tried to work out how to get in, to extricate Tim, to save him, Owen still in shock over his own sheer luck, and TK knows he shouldn’t be mad, but he is.
Tim had a life ahead of him, and Owen was hiding a cancer diagnosis, yet Owen was the one that lived.
TK needed to remember how to breathe.
As soon as Nancy and Michelle announced they were scheduling interviews for the third EMS position, TK found himself absorbed in updating his resume, before sliding it into the pile. He needed space away from Owen, to find out who he is, what he wants, so unsure of which way is up anymore, already burning bridges like a professional.
Like he’d done with Carlos after their hookup.
Michelle and Nancy hired TK on the spot, and four weeks after the death of Paramedic Tim Rosewater, Paramedic TK Strand took the wheel of the 126 ambulance rig as the newest member of EMS 126.
Summary: After breaking some ribs on a call, TK struggles and experiences some complications.
Notes: Written as a follow-up to this fic — you don’t have to read it, but if you wanted to know how exactly TK got injured (it’s kinda brushed over in this fic..)
For the pneumonia square on my bad things happen bingo card, requested by @aliceschuyler !
Beta’d by @moviegeek03 and @sunshinestrand
“We have to stop ending up here, TK.”
“You say that as if this is my fault,” TK responds and Carlos stares at him, causing him to shift uncomfortably and wince at the pain the movement causes. “It’s not,” he adds quietly.
“No, you just got hurt on the job and proceeded to think it wasn’t that bad and didn’t tell your team,” Carlos says, annoyance clear in his voice but TK has spent enough time with him to know he’s more concerned than anything else.
After they had arrived at the hospital, he was quickly taken back for an x-ray to confirm the broken ribs from his fall earlier on shift. Both Tommy and Nancy had offered to stay but since their shift was already over, they had to take the ambulance back, leaving an unamused Carlos to wait with him for the results.
“It’s not like they can even do anything for it. I could have treated this at home, like I was planning before you ratted me out,” TK rubs his ribs, hoping it alleviates some of the pain.
Summary: When Carlos and TK’s home catches on fire, the trauma lasts longer than just that one night.
Notes: The 2x12 spec - turned - fix-it fic... or what I wish would have happened in the episode(s) based on the hints we were given about it and tk’s addiction (not a relapse fic)
Word count: 4.4k
read on ao3
“TK, wake up. The house is on fire.”
Carlos’ rushed voice reaches TK’s ears first, pulling him out of his peaceful sleep. At first he’s not even sure he heard right. Though the statement came across as urgent and quite alarming, Carlos’ tone sounded firm and eerily calm.
However, when he opens his eyes and inhales through his nose, with the all-too familiar scent of smoke registering in his brain, he knows he did in fact hear Carlos correctly.
Their house, their home is on fire.
He bolts upright in bed, trying to remain calm and remember all the skills he had picked up on in his career as a first responder. Though he finds that hard to do when it’s his house that’s on fire, and he and Carlos are the ones trapped inside. Not to mention, he has no gear that would be helpful in getting them out of here alive.
“Okay, it’s going to be okay,” he repeats, meeting Carlos with panicked eyes. He’s not sure who he’s trying to reassure more, but he knows it’s not working. “If we can make it to the front door-”
“We can’t,” Carlos quickly cuts him off, shaking his head. “The fire has completely engulfed the downstairs.”
The words settle in TK’s head. If the fire has spread that quickly downstairs, it’s only a matter of time before it travels up. And if the thickening smoke is any indication, they are quickly running out of time.
He needs to make a decision.
“Okay, I’m going to open a window. Do you think you can make it to the bathroom and wet some towels?”
Carlos nods, heading towards the ensuite bathroom while TK climbs out of bed to head in the other direction towards one of the larger windows in the bedroom. As soon as his socked feet meet the floor, he can feel the heat burning below him and he tries to block out the weight of the situation laying heavy in his chest.
He can’t afford to think about how the home they were just beginning to build together is currently being destroyed by flames. Not when their own lives are still in danger.
He quickly pads his way to the window, welcoming the sensation of fresh oxygen as he opens it. The smoke in the bedroom is only getting more dense and while the window provides some relief, it isn’t enough. His chest aches as he lurches into a coughing fit.
The structure creaks below his feet, and he really starts to panic. He knows they are running on borrowed time.
“Are you okay?” he hears Carlos shout through the smoke appearing out of the bathroom with damp towels in hand.
“Yeah, are you?”
Carlos doesn’t get a chance to answer before the home begins to creek again, this time more intense. And before TK even realizes what is happening, Carlos is gone, leaving only a hole in the floor where he stood just a few seconds ago.
“Carlos!” he shouts, trying to settle the panic in his chest when he doesn’t get a reply. “Carlos!” he tries again, his lungs spasming as he uses all the oxygen to project his voice, hoping to elicit some response from his boyfriend whom he can’t even see.
But he knows better than to try and get close to the hole in the floor. The entire floor is unstable now and one wrong move and could be down there with him. He quickly tries to weigh the pros and cons of that decision, getting close enough to see how badly Carlos is hurt while also risking getting hurt himself in the process.
He tries to take a few deep breaths to calm his racing thoughts but to no avail. He knows he’s only inhaling more smoke and depriving his lungs of what it really needs. His thoughts only become more fuzzy as the room gets hotter. And before he can make any decision, his vision is swallowed by blackness.
TK wakes up to bright lights and the sensation of not being able to breathe properly. He’s aware enough to know that it’s because he is currently intubated, but his brain doesn’t appear to get the message as he still tries to breathe on his own and panicking when he can’t.
His eyes wide and alert, there’s a flurry of activity around him and hushed voices telling him to remain calm. He can’t make out who is there with him, but the familiar voices do provide a sense of reassurance. And before he knows it, the darkness overtakes him again.
The next time he comes to, he finds it much easier to breathe. The lights don’t seem to be as bright, and with the help of a nasal cannula looped around his nose he doesn’t feel like he’s gasping for oxygen that isn’t there.
As his eyes adjust to the hospital room, he spots his father sitting in the chair next to his bed reading something on his phone. He startles when he glances up and notices TK staring at him but quickly composes himself. “Hey, how do you feel, son?”
“Tired,” he croaks out, voice still raw from the tube that had been taken out not too long ago. In the silence that follows, the memories flood back into his brain of the moments that led to this. Images of flames flickering in their home and dense smoke filling their bedroom, and of - “Where’s Carlos?” he meets Owen’s eye, his heart pounding in his chest as he tries not to assume the worst.
“He’s okay,” Owen is quick to answer and TK finally lets out a sigh of relief. “The firefighters that responded were able to get to him, and to you quite quickly. You’re lucky you’re only dealing with smoke inhalation, not too serious but the doctors will probably want to keep you another night for observation.”
TK absentmindedly nods, though he can’t help but notice his father isn’t going into detail on Carlos’ condition. “And Carlos?” he asks, unable to stand another moment of not knowing how his boyfriend is doing.
“Hanging in there,” Owen says carefully. “He took quite a hit from the fall. Shattered his right leg and broke his back.”
TK stiffens. “Is he-?”
“There wasn’t any damage to the spinal cord, thankfully,” Owen answers, and TK relaxes at that.
“Is he awake?”
“Last I heard he was in and out of consciousness. His parents are with him now and have been keeping me updated.”
“Okay, that’s good,” TK nods. “Do they know what caused the fire?”
TK doesn’t miss the way Owen stiffens at the question. He braces himself, not knowing if it’s just because he’s bringing up why they are both in the hospital in the first place or if there’s something more to it.
“OFI originally had reason to believe it was arson,” Owen says, and TK now realizes why his dad reacted the way he did. Just a few days ago he had listened as Owen recounted what he believed to be a serial arsonist targeting different locations around the city. And at the time TK didn’t think much of it beyond urging his dad that he should be taking it easy during his recovery from the tumor removal.
Now hearing Owen reveal that the fire in their home could have been related to that, his heart begins to beat just a little faster as his brain takes off with thoughts of why this could have happened and if it only did because his dad got involved.
“However, the investigation wrapped up this morning and concluded that that was not the case,” Owen continues, preventing any more negative thoughts from forming in TK’s head.
“What?” TK asks, unsure if he even heard correctly. “Then what did cause it?”
“Electrical,” Owen says, looking down nervously at his hands. “Probably caused by an appliance being left plugged in in the kitchen.”
Marlon Blendo.
“Oh, dad. I-“
Owen cuts him off with a wave. “It’s okay, TK. I’m just glad you two made it out alive.”
“Yeah, but I know that blender was important to you.”
“You and Carlos are important to me. Marlon Blendo was an appliance,” Owen says with a genuine smile. “An appliance that made very good smoothies, I will say. But an appliance that can be replaced, nonetheless.”
TK returns the smile, not missing how his dad mentioned Carlos is just as important to him. In the past, Owen’s relationships with TK’s boyfriends have never been great. But it didn’t take long at all to see the difference in how he got along with Carlos, his dad essentially seeing him as another son.
“I want to see Carlos,” he says after a few beats of silence.
“If the doctor’s discharge you tomorrow, I’m sure we can work something out.”
“No, I need to see him now.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, TK. You need to be resting” Owen says, trying to lay him down gently but TK does not want to hear it.
“We can ask the nurse to get a wheelchair,” TK looks at him with pleading eyes. “Please, dad.”
Owen looks like he wants to argue more but his face soon softens and he nods. Soon enough, he is wheeled up to Carlos’ room and told he has an hour before a nurse will return to take him back to his own room, citing some reason about his doctors not wanting him to be off oxygen for too long.
Carlos is asleep when he enters the room, unnaturally still with his casted leg propped up on a pillow. TK hates that even with Carlos’ eyes closed, he can tell how much pain the other man is in.
He doesn’t waste much time before reaching for his boyfriend's hand, gently rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of Carlos’ palm. The action is enough to rouse the sleeping man, who blinks at TK a few times before smiling.
“Hey,” Carlos says sleepily, letting his eyes roam over TK’s body, searching for any visible injuries. “Are you okay?”
“Better than you, pretty sure,” TK attempts to likely joke but even his own words bring an ache to his chest. The weight of the situation starts to settle in, now seeing Carlos laid up in his hospital bed. “Carlos, I’m so sorry,” he starts to say but Carlos cuts him off with a shake of his head.
“I don’t want you to apologize, TK. None of this is your fault. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” TK’s voice cracks with desperation. “I was the one who told you to head to the bathroom, and I should have-”
“No,” Carlos cuts him off again. “We both made it out alive, and that’s all that matters.”
TK shakily nods, agreeing with Carlos on the outside but unable to stop the guilt from blooming inside his chest. Carlos is hurt, more than TK is, and as much as Carlos tries to deny it, TK knows it’s his fault.
For the fourth night in a row, TK lies wide awake as Carlos peacefully sleeps beside him.
At first it had been easy to hide after they were released from the hospital and settled into their temporary home back at his father’s house. With the adrenaline still coursing through his veins he didn’t feel like he could sleep even if he wanted to. But as the days passed, he found it harder to explain the dark circles forming under his eyes and low energy throughout the day.
And still he continues to lay awake, waiting for sleep to take pity on him.
Part of him is jealous that sleep appears to come easier to Carlos. He knows that the other man is just as affected, if not more than he is. With his broken leg and back injury, it has been hard for Carlos to find comfortable positions after being discharged from the hospital.
But Carlos also had the luxury of being prescribed medication to help manage the pain. And while he was hesitant to accept it at first, TK had encouraged it, saying that he would be fine because Carlos needed it.
And he would be fine.
Except there’s still a part of him that envied Carlos for being able to easily mask the pain with one small pill.
Because while Carlos peacefully sleeps, TK is plagued with memories of the fire that took their home not even a week ago.
Sometimes it plays out exactly how it happened, which only serves the guilt to settle more in his chest. Other times it happens with slight variations. Visions of him being the one to fall through the floor instead, or them both making it out unscathed.
The last one hurts the most. The idea that there could have been a way for both of them to walk out of it without injury. But the pained wimpers coming from beside him serve as an aching reminder of what did happen.
It hurt TK more than he was willing to admit seeing Carlos in so much pain and knowing it’s his fault. Not that Carlos would ever admit it, brushing it off every time TK would try to bring it up. But TK knows the truth. Even with all of his firefighter training, he wasn’t able to get them out unharmed. Not to mention he was the reason why Carlos fell through the floor.
He should have been the one to go to the bathroom and wet the towels. Or he should have forgotten the towels altogether, considering it probably would have only bought them a few seconds anyway.
Night after night he gets stuck in this spiral of “what-if’s,” unable to shut off his brain enough to get the rest he so badly needs.
Another louder whimper comes from beside him, breaking him from his thoughts.
“Baby?” he calls softly, not wanting to wake Carlos if he wasn’t already, but also wanting to make sure he was okay if he is awake.
“Sorry,” Carlos whispers back. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
TK doesn’t have to see his face to sense the wince on Carlos’ face, pain clearly evident in his voice. “It’s okay, I was already awake. I’m sorry you’re hurting.”
“We’ve talked about this, babe. You having nothing to apologize for.”
“But I do. It was my fault that you got hurt and maybe if I-“
“TK, stop,” Carlos cuts him off. He tries to say it gently, but TK can sense the annoyance in his voice.
It’s the same conversation they have had a few times now and it always ended the same way; with TK trying to apologize and Carlos calmly explaining why the apology wasn’t necessary. It was no wonder his patience was running out and TK knew it was only a matter of time before Carlos snapped.
And by the sound of it, that’s exactly what was happening.
“Can we not do this now? In the middle of the night? I just need the pain to stop and to go back to sleep.”
TK nods, even though he’s well aware Carlos can’t see the motion in the darkness of their bedroom (well, their temporary bedroom at Owen’s house). It’s a good thing, considering that means the other man also can’t see the tears welling in TK’s eyes. “I’ll go get your meds.”
He hears Carlos sigh and takes that an okay, pushing himself out of bed and making his way down the hall to the bathroom.
He rifles through the medicine cabinet before pulling out Carlos’ prescription and shaking two capsules out of the bottle. The bright white pills contrast against his palm and he can’t bring himself to look away.
TK once again finds himself envious of Carlos’ ability to take these pills to begin with; To have the power to soften the pain in two tiny capsules.
Without a second thought, he slides the pills into his pajama bottoms before shaking out another two replacement pills into his palm. He then fills up a disposable cup of water and turns off the light.
The next hours pass by in a haze, tossing and turning until the pills in his pocket are forgotten. TK realizes he must have fallen asleep at some point indicated by the light filtering through the blinds, casting a soft warm glow into the bedroom.
Not wanting to wake Carlos still sleeping beside him, but also not able to spend another minute laying in bed, he carefully gets up and makes his way through the hall and down the stairs, into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” Owen says, all too cheerfully for the morning hour.
“Morning,” he replies while grabbing his coffee mug and filling it to the brim.
“How did you sleep?”
TK shrugs. It’s the same dance they do everyday. His father definitely knows him well enough to see how much he’s been struggling since the fire, yet he never pushes enough to get TK to talk.
“Do you want some pancakes? I got fresh blueberries yesterday at the market that I could throw in the batter.”
He considers it, knowing full well that his dad is trying to get him to talk using his favorite breakfast meal. But he also thinks if he tries to eat anything, he’s going to throw up. “I’m good with coffee right now. Maybe I’ll have a bowl of cereal in a bit.”
“TK,” Owen trails off. “Do I need to be worried about you?”
TK glances down, staring at his hands, unable to meet his dad’s eye. In the past when he had been asked that question, the simple no had always been able to roll easily off his tongue, regardless of whether or not it was true. But this morning feels different. He doesn’t feel cornered, but there is a part of him that wants to say yes. With just one word he’d be able to let out all of the emotions he has been bottling up for days, even months going back before the fire.
“Have you gone to any meetings lately?”
That gets TK’s attention. “No,” he says, looking up shyly. “I mean I’ve been a little busy taking care of Carlos and trying to get everything sorted out with insurance and just,” he sighs. They’re weak excuses, he knows. While that stuff is important, he’s also aware that his recovery should come first and he’s been looking for any excuse not to take care of himself, to avoid opening up the bottle of his emotions.
“You should. Why don’t I drive you to one today?” Owen offers.
“No, someone needs to stay with Carlos-”
“And there’s been dozens of people asking what they can do to help you guys out that I’m sure would love to hang out with him this afternoon. If Mateo won’t be around, I can ask Grace or Paul, or anyone from the station if they are available.”
TK nods, knowing there’s no way to get out of this. This is Owen’s polite way of letting him know that he knows TK needs help and if he’s not going to talk him or Carlos, he needs to talk to someone.
“Good. I’m proud of you. You’ve come a long way in your recovery in the past 18 months,” Owen offers him a smile but the words hit TK like a punch in the gut.
He quickly shoves his hands in his pockets and freezes when he feels the familiar texture of the forgotten pills shoved hastily in there in a moment of weakness last night.
Owen studies him carefully. “Are you okay?”
He takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing thoughts before his face can betray that his father really did have a legitimate reason to be concerned. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just going to go see if Carlos is awake.”
Owen nods, appearing to accept TK’s response. TK flashes him a smile before filling up a glass of water to bring up to Carlos and hoping that his father doesn’t notice the way his hands shake as he holds it under the faucet.
“Come back down when you’re ready to eat. The pancakes will be waiting for you,” Owen calls as TK climbs the stairs.
TK doesn’t answer, moving through the hallway until he reaches their bedroom and softly knocks on the door before pushing it open. He expects to find Carlos still sleeping soundly on the bed, but instead sees him attempting to push himself out of bed, a pained grimace painted on his face.
“What are you doing?” TK rushes over to him, guiding him gently back into the bed so he is sitting back against the headboard. “You’re not supposed to get out of bed without help.”
While Carlos isn’t technically on bedrest, it is harder for him to get around. He was given crutches for his broken leg, but using them puts a lot of stress on his injured back. TK can tell that the lack of mobility is starting to get to him.
“I was thirsty,” Carlos shrugs, flashing him a sheepish grin.
TK resists the urge to roll his eyes at that. “Well you can relax now, I brought you water,” he says, handing the glass over to Carlos. “And my dad is making pancakes if you want to try to get out of bed, with help this time.”
“That sounds good.”
“Good,” TK replies and they exchange smiles. Though he can’t help but notice the tension that still looms in the air from their last interaction. It clearly doesn’t go unnoticed by Carlos as well, whose smile soon drops at the shift in mood.
“Listen, TK, I’m sorry for kind of snapping at you last night. I was just tired, and in pain, and I didn’t mean to take it out on you,” Carlos sighs, taking TK’s hands in his. “These past few days haven’t been easy for either of us and you’ve taken such great care of me. I want you to know how much I appreciate it. I love you.”
TK can’t help the tears that well in his eyes at Carlos’ words. His heart threatens to beat out of his chest, both at the tenderness of the moment and in panic of wanting to admit to Carlos what he’s done. He came in the room prepared to come clean, but now feels almost as though he doesn’t deserve the kind words. He doesn’t deserve this happiness that he came so close to throwing all away.
“Babe?” Carlos questions softly.
“I took some of your pills,” TK blurts out, spitting the words out in the air before he can change his mind and take them back. Carlos’ eyes widen in panic and TK quickly shakes his head. “Well, okay I didn’t actually take them. I just,” he sighs, reaching into his pocket and holding out the pills in his palm.
“TK,” Carlos trails off. He doesn’t sound disappointed, but TK can’t help the panic that arises as he tries to figure out how to justify what he did now that Carlos knows.
“It’s just been so hard, you know? I know you don’t want to talk about it, and I get why. I mean, I don’t want to talk about it either. But no matter how many times I’m told it wasn’t my fault, the guilt still doesn’t leave, and it’s suffocating. I’m sorry, I know you’re probably tired of having this conversation but I don’t know what happened last night. I just hit a point where I didn’t know what else to do and I’m sorry I can’t be stronger for you.”
The silence that hangs in the air after TK’s word vomit is deafening. He takes some deep breaths, waiting for Carlos to say something. When more than a few seconds pass, TK can’t help but open his mouth again. “I’m so sorry, Carlos. I wish I could handle this better but I just keep bottling it up. I understand if you are mad, but you should know I’m going to a meeting this afternoon and I think-“
“TK,” Carlos cuts off his rambling this time. “I’m not mad at you. In fact, I think I’ve been bottling a lot of things up too, so that’s something we both need to work on. I’m just trying to figure out why you think I would be and why you think you’re not strong.”
“Because I took your pills,” he says quietly. “I almost relapsed.”
“Almost. But you didn’t. Instead you came to me and told me about it. And if you’re already planning on going to a meeting? That’s great, babe,” Carlos smiles and grabs his hands, squeezing them reassuringly.
“The meeting was my dad’s idea. I haven’t told him.”
“That’s okay. You still agreed to it, and you don’t have to tell him yet if you’re not ready. But whenever you are, I can be there with you if you want. I know he will understand.”
TK gives a small nod.
“Hey,” Carlos grabs his attention, tilting his head up gently. “I am proud of you, you know. And I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” TK gives him a genuine smile.
“Is there anything else I can do that will help you out?”
“Maybe, we could give your pills to my dad to hold onto? Just for a few days,” he says quietly, almost ashamed to admit but knowing it’s for the best.
“I can just get rid of them, I don’t think I need them,” Carlos responds far too quickly.
“Absolutely not. It’s only been a few days, and I can see how much pain you’re still in.”
Carlos nods. “Okay, then we will talk to your dad about it.”
TK smiles, a wave of relief washing over him that they had dealt with this in the best way possible. Maybe things aren't perfect now, and he still has a long way to go before he’ll feel stable in his recovery. But if the soft brown eyes and proud smile of his boyfriend sitting next to him are any indication, he knows he has all the support system he needs to get through it.
Summary: TK and Carlos’ weekend getaway does not go as planned when storms confine them to the house. Oh, and TK is also fairly sick.
Notes: for one of my dearest friends, @morganaspendragonss on her birthday 💗 hope you have a wonderful day, holly!! thank you for always blessing the fandom with your incredible fics, especially all the ones you’ve shared with us this month!!!
holly also requested the fainting square on my bthb card back in march, who said “if it’s still available, could i request fainting for your bthb card? xx” — so this is me finally filling it. and to the two people who requested the remaining squares (also in march)... soon, i promise 💗
beta’d by @marjansmarwani and @aliceschuyler
“Sorry, I know this isn’t exactly what you had in mind when we made plans to get away for the weekend,” TK says from his spot lounging on the sofa in the living room of their log cabin. The room is full of comfortable furniture, the cabin small but still seeming spacious, perfect for the getaway weekend that Carlos had planned meticulously for weeks.
Carlos breaks his stare from the window painted with rain drops. “What, you mean being rained-in at our cozy cabin, unable to leave because all the roads are flooded? It’s exactly what I had in mind.”
TK playfully rolls his eyes and gestures for Carlos to come join him on the couch. The other man makes his way over, sinking into the spot next to TK and curling up into his side, snuggling in close.
“Should we put a movie on?” Carlos asks.
“Can we watch 10 Things I Hate About You?”
Carlos groans; it’s the third time TK has asked to watch this movie on the trip. So far Carlos has managed to talk him out of it each time since they watch it all the time at home and he wants to put on something new. “I don’t know, are you going to spend the whole movie talking about how hot young Heather Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are?”
“I can make no such promise,” TK laughs and leans onto Carlos’ shoulder.
Carlos frowns as he feels the heat against his skin, even through the shirt he’s wearing. “Hey,” Carlos turns to face him and cups his face. “Are you feeling okay? You feel warm.”
