#9613

[5sospicturesque]

Clearing out my camera roll 9613/?

[everymobbu]

[was-ist-dein-geheimnis]

[tswatch]

(1) Melissa: thank you for answering me. I still live with my grandmother but I work a lot and most of the time im out of the house and I usually just don't eat when I'm not being forced to. I know it's a bad habit and I don't want to get back into it, but sometimes it's really really hard. and yes I've been professionally diagnosed with DID (usually I call the other personalities "alters") and my grandmother and boyfriend know I have it. my grandmother doesn't know a lot about it so she

(2) doesn't always recognize when an alter is out because they usually hide themselves very well. but most of the time my boyfriend notices and most of the alters I have get along well with him. some of the alters also have bad eating habits but a lot of times they eat a lot more than I do. I haven't told my therapist about how little I eat or how I feel about this although I did tell my regular doctor that I have a very poor appetite most of the time and he said I should eat anyway, which

(3) didn't really help. yesterday I hardly ate anything and even when I try to eat I just can't stomach it sometimes. I usually end up having a bite or two and then throwing the rest away :/ -9613

Hi hon,

I know it’s a hard habit to break. Even when it’s a bad thing, it starts to feel comfortable and normal. I understand. The fact that your grandma and boyfriend seem very supportive of you is a great thing though, it’s wonderful to have a support system. Have you tried educating your grandma about DID and what your alters are like? It may be harder for older people to understand but the fact that she tries to help is really great of her. How often are you around your boyfriend? He seems like a good person to have around to help you with your eating habits. Maybe a good help would also be to plan out a meal every day in front of one of them to know that you will be supervised. It sounds like a big task, but it can really be such a help.

As for not being able to stomach food sometimes, that’s really normal for having an eating disorder. The less your stomach is used to food, the more chance of it rejecting food. If food is too much sometimes, try protein shakes or juices. Slimfast even works pretty well. It still gives your body the nutrients it needs but doesn’t make you feel so heavy. Make small meals, like just an apple, or a small bowl of cereal, or a piece of meat. Eating a few bites to begin with is a great step. Treat it as a goal to eat one more bite each time, and reward yourself by doing something you like to do. You have the power to win!

- Melissa

[tswatch]

(1) hey. you guys (especially ash and Jen) have helped me a lot recently, and now something else has come up and I feel like you guys are the only ones I can talk to about it. I used to restrict my eating a lot, but I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder because I never brought it up to anyone. I would sometimes go more than a day without a single bite of anything and when I did it, it was only very little. when I was kicked out of my house I was forced to change that habit because my

(2) grandmother would watch to make sure I ate enough. but now im starting to fall back into the same habits again where I really want to restrict how much I eat. I don't know why. I just like it. it makes me feel light and airy and I would have competitions with myself to see how little calories I could eat in a day, always trying to eat less than the day before. and I would feel extremely guilty when I did eat. and I feel like im falling back into that again. I think the only reason I didn't

(3) get extremely sick when I did this before was because I have DID and the others in my head would eat things when i dissociated (one of them is an awful binge eater...) and it always makes me feel so sick and gross. but anyway, im afraid im going to start getting into bad habits again. do you have any advice? :/ -9613

Hey hon,

I’m glad we’ve been helpful to you here!

So to me, it sounds like you know how harmful not eating is and you don’t want to end up back in that pattern, right? It may have been fun to feel ‘light and airy’ but you are wise enough to know it’s not a good thing. That’s a great first step!!

You said your grandma was the one who really helped you last time because she watched you, right? May I ask if you’re still living with her? If not, are you living with anyone else? Telling someone that you have this issue is really a helpful step. Letting them know that they need to pay attention to what you eat is important. Also, I don’t know a lot about DID but I assume that you have been actually diagnosed professionally with this? If so, do the people around you know that you have it? If so, they should be aware of the different patterns that the different personalities (not sure that’s the right term, correct me if I’m wrong) have and be able to try and distinguish between them. It would help a lot if they could so they could try to help you out, especially with your eating patterns.

Have you talked to a therapist or a doctor about this? They could probably do a lot to help you. Especially if you get officially diagnosed with an ED so they can focus on that. I hope this helps!

- Melissa

[tswatch]

ash; yes im in therapy. and I want to get better and I want to move forward but it's just so hard... I can hardly function some days. I have a bf who's extremely supportive and helpful but I feel like im such a burden on him. he always reassures me that im not but I just feel like I stress him out too much. and there's a lot of things I can't do because of the way I am and i feel like he would be so much better off without me... I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I feel stuck. -9613

I can understand that it must be extremely difficult and I am extremely proud of you for wanting to get better and move forward. Sometimes all we can do is carry on even when it seems impossible and take everything moment by moment. If you can get through this minute, you are closer to making it through the hour. If you can make it through the hour, you are closer to making it a day. And so on and so on...

You are fighting for your life here. That isn’t easy.

Your boyfriend is with you for a reason, just like you are with him for a reason. Try and remember that okay? You aren’t too difficult for him because he is here, he cares about you, and wants to take care of you.

~Ash

[tswatch]

do you guys have an ask signed "-9613"? I just want to know if tumblr possibly ate it. thanks <3

I believe I just answered it! So yes, we got it. XD

~Ash

[tswatch]

do you know anything about taking fluoxetine? my doctor just prescribed it to me for my anxiety but everything I read about it online sounds awful. it has a million side effects and people say that it gets better a few weeks into taking it but so many people can't even last through the side effects that long and im worried. my doctor didn't tell me anything about that when he prescribed it to me. do any of the mods or your followers have experience with this?? (pls tag '9613' and thank you)

Hi love,

I have not taken Fluoxetine, but I’ve taken other drugs in the same class, such as Citalopram. Most of the SSRIs have a long list of side effects, but you have to keep in mind that side effects are not guaranteed. Most medications have extensive side effect lists, not because the side effects are common, but because drug companies have to include every side effect ever reported for legal reasons. So if someone had a headache once because they took the medication, they have to include that on the list, even though there’s a very low chance that will happen. Does that make any sense? So don’t let the long list of side effects scare you. I didn’t have any side effects taking Citalopram, but every person is different. However SSRIs are known to have very mild side effects / are known to be tolerated very well. I think you should just mention your concerns to your doctor and see what they say!

<3 Jen