and when it was goodbye , it never really was
I almost gave up..again same story, same ending ,short lived happiness. Then a replay of 2012 that day , that faithful day when i was at my down moment in life and i decided to walked out again (nth time) on you . I remember raising my voice at you and pushing you away when you tried to pull me back in the car. I was so determined to walked out that i shouted and said " **** off D , if you want me to be happy do me a favor and just **** off ". I remember the expression on your face... in disbelief that i actually said those words , you didn't even try to make me stay . You turned your back and looked away , not wanting to see me leave and drove off. I can't believe it either ..myself , i did it again hurt someone who doesn't deserve all these..all of my bullshits and sorrows. I'm thinking of you today ..if you knew bet you'll be all cocky and mighty , then again maybe not . Probably by now you've got someone special already and i really hope you do . I wish you all the happiness you deserve , i hope she's all you've ever dream of . The kind who you could hold hands openly , shower her with gifts and love , help you shave your moustache on lazy days ( still love you just as much even if you not shave) and cook you breakfast in bed.
We should never cross path or speak again ...because i'll be so jealous of her and how lucky she is to have you (just joking) but yeah we know how it'll end up if we ever...met. Thank GOD we're miles away and living in separate countries.
D your experience taught me to never do that to anyone again and to overcome my trust issue.