just as i step off the last stone step and enter my freefall, he lets go of my hand. and for just a moment, there is nothing. nothing holding me. nothing below me. nothing to tether me to land or ocean or space itself. for just this moment, i am nothing.
i should be terrified. i should feel the urge to cry and kick and scream. after a lifetime of resisting Death and his haunting call, for some reason, this time is different. maybe this moment ends in Death's waiting arms. maybe it ends with my feet finding something solid to rest on. maybe it never ends at all. but even as those possibilities cross my mind, i feel not a single hint of fear.
i instead embrace the nothing like it's a friend. like someone i knew long ago and almost forgot about, until they came back to remind me. and i know instinctively that whatever happens after this moment is meant to be. i do not want to fight this fact. and the reason why comes to me as easy as breathing.
it's simple. as simple as vinyl records and the brush of cloth against metal. as simple as a soft crow caw or the clink of wine glasses.
as simple as him.
he is here. and within that, nothing else matters. with him, there is no reason to be afraid.
