What do you do if you have an unpopular interpretation of a character but nobody knows that yet? Write what you know you want instead of writing what you think other people might want I guess, but that’s hard. People can be incredibly cruel, but ultimately I’m writing for myself instead of everybody else.
I love Harry encouraging strangers to embrace at his shows, I really do and I feel like it’s such a fitting thing next to his “Treat People With Kindness.”
But I’m not embracing anyone of you, sorry. My heart is too cold for that and my arms too stiff and I’ll duck the second he starts anyway.
Hello dear followers i am back (look at me, as if anyone missed my absence) and I have to announce that since the season finale of Game of Thrones is tomorrow, you can expect much weeping and spamming of GoT posts. It'll probably last a few days so just wait it out okay ily guys
On another note, I've officially become enamored with Orange is The New Black so expect OiTNB posts in place of GoT once I'm done...? ily guys
Need to Fill an Empty House (& Heart) || Day Before
Bring, bring!
There's nothing quite like the sound of an incoming video call bouncing off the walls of an empty house to wake you from a nice dreamless nap. I glanced over at my alarm clock to see that it was 4 in the afternoon. Since I was the one that was going to volunteer tomorrow afternoon I was allowed to head home early from the Academy.
I rubbed my eyes and jumped out of bed trying to find the stupid tablet that would allow me to silence that annoying sound.
Bring, bring!
Clothes flew everywhere as I dug through my pile of laundry. Nothing was there. I rushed down the stairs to the kitchen, the next logical place I would have been. The counters held nothing but golden envelopes filled with invitations for my parents. I sighed.
Bring, bring!
It was louder than it had been in my room. I looked to the fridge and rolled my eyes. The door swung open and I saw the stupid tablet nestled between a slice of pizza and the milk.
The thing rang once more for effect - bring, bring! - and I pressed the answer button.
"Hello?" The caller ID showed no information but knowing Flint, he probably got a new number because he broke the tablet again. The screen stayed black for a moment before fading to a face I thought I would be seeing in real life later this evening.
"Hi Clifton!" my mother said. She never used Cliff, probably too colloquial for her taste. "How are you?" Her pink nails glistened from the late afternoon sunshine that shone on her part of the world. I squinted at the screen and saw that her hair was a mess and she was wearing a fluffy, white robe.
"Where are you?" I asked in response. I steeled myself for the inevitable words that would leave her mouth.
"In the Capitol dear."
"Why?" I controlled my frustration. She had promised and this was a tradition. Every year they would be home for the Reaping, and they have been. It was the one night a year that his parents mostly paid attention to me. Tonight was where they asked me questions about training, the expected tributes, about my life. This was supposed to be my year. I had been working towards this.
"A couple of the people that work for the President asked us to stay and attend a few meetings and a couple of dinners. I couldn't turn them down could I?" Her face seemed genuinely sad, but I knew better.
"You couldn't have turned them down for me? For your only son?" My mom's jaw dropped, clearly unprepared for the questions that poured out of me. I held this in most of the time, I didn't like losing control like all of those years ago. I continued, trying to ignore the hurt that was spreading across her face. "It's always about you, right? Never coming home, always missing my birthday, everything. And even when you come home, it's always about you. Tonight was supposed to be my night. You know I'm going into the Arena, you know what that means!"
My voice had gotten louder and louder, reaching a volume that dominated the entire room. When I fell silent, it was like the rest of the world had fallen away. It was just me and my mother.
"Sweetie..." Her voice had changed, as if she was talking to a child. Trying to talk them down from going into full tantrum mode. I wasn't going to fall for it.
"No sweetie mom. You don't care. That's it."
Her eyebrows scrunched up. Her lip quivered, as if she was on the verge of tears. The voice that came out, trembled, tempting me to apologize to my mother. "You'll get to see us here you know? I'll find a way."
Another empty promise. Whatever sympathy I had felt for her evaporated. I had been promised things too many times, with nothing to show for it. "Just like you promised to be here tonight?" I asked incredulously.
"That's not the same..."
I cut her off. "No, it's exactly the same. Something better comes up right? Sure, you'll come find me before I enter the Arena."
"C'mon Clifton..."
Nope. I didn't want to hear it. She had her chance. A whole 17 years to be close to me, to actually be a mother to me. Fuck it.
"No mom. Maybe I will see you soon." I put an emphasis on the maybe, trying to tell her what the outcome could be.
Before I pressed the "End Call" button I took a last inventory of my mother. Her hand was wrapped around a tube of lipstick. Her other hand was reaching up to her face. A tear was rolling down her face. I pressed the button and tossed the tablet onto the couch.
Fuck.
I wasn't going to cry. I was more angry than anything. I needed a run, a distraction, anything.
Bring, bring!
"What the fuck!" I picked up the tablet and was ready to press ignore when I saw who it was.
"What up Flint?" I kept the anger out of my voice as best as I could and contorted my face into something confident.
"Yo Cliff. There's a party tonight to celebrate the Reaping. I was told to personally invite the guy who was reping our district this year! So are you joining me tonight?" He smiled, god, his enthusiasm infectious.
I grinned back. At least I could enjoy myself tonight, like I was supposed to. "Yeah of course, sounds like fun. Meet you there?"
"Sure dude. See you at 8." He flashed the peace sign before hanging up on me.
-------------------
"Ready to hit it?" Flint asked, picking up a cup full of beer from one of the many counters full of alcohol placed around the room.
"Yep." We clinked our cups and drank our fill before grabbing another cup and diving into the crowd of bodies that made up the main room of the mansion the party was in.
The night passed in heavy amusement.
I got roped into a game of spin the bottle that a bunch of girls had set up near the end of the night. There was only one other guy in the circle and I flashed a knowing smile to the guy sitting across from me. We were the cream of the crop if we were the only two recruited.The bottle sat in the middle and I was pushed to spin first.
The girl it landed on, smiled slyly and crawled on all fours to me. She kissed me and it was an understatement to say that I liked it. We made out for a few minutes, our mouths playing tonsil tennis. I desperately wanted more than this. I wanted my mind to be blank except for the excitement and pleasure that would befall me with this girl.
It was only when one of the girls suggested we leave the circle that we did. I lead her away and out of the house to my own.
When I awoke the next morning, she was gone. I didn't know her name, but man had she left an imprint on me. Not just emotionally, but I think I had a few hickies. Maybe even some bite marks.
THIS WEEK IS TERRIBLE STARTING TOMORROW WELL IT WAS ALREADY KIND FO TERRIBLE BUT IT WILL BE ESPECIALLY TERRIBLE BC I HAVE TO TAKE 4 APS WITHIN THE SPAN OF 3 DAYS AND ALSO I HAVE TO FINISH MY FJCIKING SIP BY FRIDAY AND THERES ALL THIS LITTLE STUFF I HAVE TO DO LIKE PAY MY OBLIGATIONS AND GET PROM TICKETS AND FIGURE OUT PROM AND I GOTTA PLAN AROUND LITTLE THIGNS LIKE THAT AND JUST GETS IN TEH WAY AND GOD I AM SO TIRED MY HANDS ARE SHAKING I JUST wow
guys do not take 5 aps ur senior year unless u are willing to actually put effort into ur senior year
