#a:ras1

[radio-boyfriends]

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Transcript:

Eugene: Okay, you’re listening to Radio Abel, keeping you informed in a post-civilization world. We’re always here. You should be too. 

[radio-boyfriends]

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Transcript:

Eugene: --And, you know, the weird thing is, it still… itches, like… I don’t know!

Jack: Ah, so is that why you’re always clenching your fist?

Eugene: Yeah-

Jack: Right-

Eugene: That, and the fact that I’m trying to restrain myself from hitting you most of the time.

Jack: He-hey! [Laughs] Just because civilization’s fallen doesn’t mean you can smack me around. I’ll call the Major on you.

Jack: [Imitating the Major] Now, Mr. Woods, I’ve had a very disturbing report about a case of what we’d once would’ve called domestic abuse. I’m certain I don’t need to remind you my stance on law and order here at Abel.

Eugene: [Laughs] Stop it, that’s uncanny!

Jack: [Imitating the Major] I’ll have you tried in the court if I hear any more of that-

Eugene: [Laughs] –Oh god, it’d be like an afterschool special-

Jack: This week on Days of Our Zombies… [Laughs] Eugene makes a terrible mistake!

Eugene: Yeah, letting you follow me around since the outbreak.

Jack: You should’ve known better!

Eugene: I’m a sucker, what can I say?

Jack: Yeah, you fell for my “I have the only existent copy of Tom Waits discography” shtick.

Eugene: Speaking of which… how about a song?

Jack: Ooh! Now you’re talking sense.    

[radio-boyfriends]

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Transcript:

Sam: Hey, Five! Uh, listen, some guys at the base here are testing something, uh, I have to listen to it, so I’m gonna kick it through to you as well, while you’re out there. You just keep doing your thing though, run ‘till you’re tired, and we’ll see how far the signal reaches. That cool? Cool.

[Static]

Jack: [Continued Static] Oh... kay! Say something. 

Eugene: [Continued Static] He-hello? Testing, testing, four, eight-

Jack: [Continued Static] Stop, stop, that does not sound good…

Jack: [Continued Static] Shh, shh shhh shhhh. Hang- hang on.

[Static Clears]

Jack: Try that?

Eugene: Hello?

Jack: Cool, cool, right, that’s good. 

Eugene: Good. Uh, nice work.

Jack: Thanks. Uh, shall we?

Eugene: Oh! Yeah, uh, okay! Um.

[Both Clear Their Throats]

Eugene: Welcome listeners. If you’re out there. I’m Eugene and that other voice you are hearing is my partner, Jack. 

Jack: Hello.

Eugene: We’re, uh, we’re, we’re here at Abel Township and I guess, uh, well, I guess you’re listening to our first broadcast. 

Jack: Welcome, welcome. Uh, it’s taken us a while to get all the equipment together, but here we are, and we’ll be broadcasting as often as we can on this frequency pending our grisly demise.

Eugene: It’s a constant threat-

Jack: Obviously.

Eugene: Obviously. Uh, but until then, we’ll be playing you whatever music we can rustle up.

Jack: Well, I’ve got a few thousand tracks here as long as this solar charger keeps working.

Eugene: Thank you, Steve Jobs. 

Jack: Indeed.

Eugene: So we’ll be bringing you whatever music we can, along with important news and notices from Abel and the surrounding area. 

Jack: Everything you need to know to make your life safer, and marginally less miserable.

Eugene: Wow. Soften the blow, why don’t you.

Jack: [Laughs] Shut up. No one’ll be listening yet,   anyway, except for Sam!

Eugene: Hi Sam! Hope we’re coming through loud and clear!

Jack: Hello to Sam Yao! Alright good buddy, this track’s for you!