HE MAKES HER FEEL SAFE IN A WAY SHE FEELS SHE LACKS MOST DAYS . calms the majority of the whirlpools in shattered chest / quiets the sounds that creep upon her [ ... ] his presence a balm . soothing ----- loving . ❛ ----- finnick . ❜ she slides close on bare feet . was in the water not that long ago && has a habit of not fully drying off && so long hair still drips pearl like beads && ghosts of her steps mark her path . she presses against his back , arms wrapping around him [ ... ] simply desires his touch . ❛ i missed you . ❜ does not elaborate further .
THERE IS A FIRE IN HER VEINS . not an inferno / a slow burn . a steady warmth radiating through her limbs from the epicenter where his mouth presses against her skin . q . is this what happiness feels like ? like you are floating in the ocean , waves gently rocking / lulling you to serenity . like safety , like nothing in the world can touch you if it tried for a million years . a . it has been so long since she felt this way , she does not truly remember . but , it is him && it is her && that is all that matters if anyone were to ask .
SLIM FINGERS SLIP THROUGH HIS HAIR . curl to scratch against his scalp before sliding back to his nape . offers comfort / affection in their press . ❛ ----- finnick . ❜ she is not looking at him [ … ] instead gaze is focused up at the ceiling above them as if it's presence is grounding . it's mere existence keeping her from drifting away even as his threatens to set her loose . ❛ finnick . ❜ thinks she has always loved the taste of his name in her mouth . ( her bones are saltwater sharp [ … ] as are her teeth . whenever he is around , they want to part . allow him entry be it within her chest or upon her tongue . ) mouth curves , fingers press lower . ❛ i love you . ❜
IT'S AN ODD FEELING [ ... ] THAT YOUR BODY IS NOT YOUR OWN . as a whole , annie is not unused to it ----- a prevalent sense among a good portion of those who've fought either against their will or because it's been drilled down through the generations that it is the right thing to do . however [ ... ] this time is different . she is not alone in her skin ----- there is growth , life , within her && every time she thinks about it , every time she looks at herself in the mirror a mixture of warmth && ice floods . ( what if she can't do this ? she , of all people , knows her limitations && faults . )
A SMALL SOUND IN THE BACK OF HER THROAT , SHE SHIFTS . presses further against him . his heartbeat against her shoulder blade reminds her that she is not alone ----- does wonders to quell insecurity prone to bubbling up her throat , around curve of her jaw . softly , without word , she grabs one of finnicks hands && places it on her belly [ ... ] above their unborn child . covers it with both of hers && finds comfort in its slight weight on bared flesh . ❛ ----- he'll look like you . i [ ... ] i saw it in a dream . ❜
𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 : mental illness, ableist language
the poor mad girl of district four . that's what they call her . that's what they've been calling her since she broke in the arena . all at once they called , attempted to recall bets places in the name of her winning for such victory seemed so very far for the girl she became instantly . she was trained to fight , but no amount of training can prepare you for seeing a boy from your district beheaded inches from your face .
everything about annie cresta goes undiagnosed . she is an unloved , unwanted victor who reflects poorly upon the capital . she does not represent strength && power as other winners do && so she's often swept to the side unless she's being sold . they do not care about her mental health , they do not care about her at all && they ensure that she is well aware of that fact .
annie is a sufferer , most notably , of ptsd . almost everything connects back to this . she is not the only victor to have it , but she is , by far , the only one to display it so obviously . so strongly . she has nightmares , displays startle response && there are times where she feels utterly numb .
while most peoples image of annie includes her being overtly emotional as that's the image often put out , there are just as many days where she's the complete opposite . she'll sit in her home in district four , or down at the waters edge && stare into oblivion for hours without saying a thing . without moving . there are also days where she goes about her day as normal but completely silent && removed unless someone makes the attempt to pull her out of it .
her habit of dissociation stems both from the events of her game && how she is treated afterwards , most notably from the clients she's handed over to with blatant disregard . it becomes a way to survive && continues to carry on even after she's no longer treated as a commodity to be sold to the more unsavory capital residents . it's a way to block out her pain , both real && imagined && you can usually see exactly the moment it happens if you're paying enough attention . something within her switches off && she is no longer there .
she develops a habit of scratching at herself . this primarily occurs when she’s lost on to if things are real or not && stems from the way that the capital took this certainty from her . generally , this occured around her visits back to the capital , ending when she was no longer being sold with the exception being some of her particularly bad nightmares . however , it picks back up after finding herself in thirteen .
she becomes not exactly paranoid , but distrustful , especially of strangers . it's strangers who hurt her , who mock her . who make her feel less than human . she is less outgoing after her games , afraid of reaching out because she's so certain she's going to get hurt && most people who attempt to bridge out eventually just . stop . deem it too much work . this does not go attributed to people she newly meets : in fact , a good portion of her relationships break down because she's seen as too troublesome , too unsteady . too crazy .
as annie is typically only seen in stressful situations && the few times she's brought up by the capital does little to show anything beyond this side of her . she is worlds better when away from her stressors . she is by no means magically healed , but annie in four - especially when finnick is there after they grow closer - is so much better than people would expect because she has people who take care of her . despite how she's looked down upon , at home she has finnick && mags && her family && victors in four take care of one another . in the capital she has no one , in thirteen , if finnick is not there , she has no one . this leads to more && more episodes / more && more bad days .
annie was born in water . it's a common method for birth in district four , impending mothers lowering themselves into a filled tub or one of the larger tide pools . annie's mother had chosen the second , bringing her daughter into the world among starfish && anemone && silver , flitting fish .
annie's father was a fisherman , her mother made && repaired nets . annie did a little of both but , as her first love was swimming , most of the time she could be found underwater , slicing through the waves like a natural . her skill at maneuvering in water undeniable : if you needed something off the ocean floor , or out by the buoys , annie cresta was your girl .
a large swath of the district is sea adjacent && even the inland smells of salt water . no matter how wealthy the district is , everyone pulls their own weight . drawn to water as she was , she was often found collecting shellfish bare handed from the reefs , && on days that wasn't possible , she'd join her father on his fishing boat if he wasn't going far out && the water was calm enough , or sit beside her mother where she'd detangle && mend && make nets for people to use . truthfully , the nets were her least favorite . motions generally so repetitive they'd place her under a trance .
at twelve years old , a storm hit while annie's father was out on a fishing run . his vessel must have capsized for he was never seen again . there was hope still , there always is , but two weeks later a piece of his boat washed ashore && annie refused to come out of her room until the funeral a few days later . they placed his belongings on that piece of boat , lit it aflame && set it afloat . his body was never found but those items were enough for the sea burial .
she began training at an early age , like most do in four . alongside lessons designed to garner strength && weapons mastery , annie also studied flexibility && related skills . one never knows what abilities would be needed in order to survive the games && the goal was to learn as much as would fit in her skull so as not to be caught unaware , unprepared should her name be called for the bloodbath .
annie wasn't a top student but she wasn't a washout . she was a contender . she was strong . when her name went plucked out && waved high in the air , there was belief that she would make it through , just as there was belief that her partner would . surely , it was a year where district four would be victorious .
I wrote a decently sized thing about a.nnies mental health but I don't know if I mentioned this so!
a.nnie has bad days, however they're fewer && farer between back in district four after her initial disconnection because, despite being what it probably the least popular victor, she has a support system there. she has family && the ocean / m.ags && f.innick even if he's unable to be with her year round.
how she acts in thirteen is primarily a result based on her surroundings && what she's coming back from. things are chaotic, there are strangers, her support system is gone. f.innick is going through his own things && is unable to take on hers as well ( PLEASE NOTE : his taking care of her was never her intention. it wasn't forced on him, she didn't ask him. initially she fought against it, not wanting to take advantage of his kindness / become a burden ) she was treated less than kindly during her captivity in the capital && the people around her in this strange new place avoid her && talk poorly about her ----- sometimes openly, sometimes behind her back. she's healed in the time since her game but she's been made fragile again && needs to complete steps to get things back under control, she knows this, but initially it's hard.
you see her acting in a manner that can be considered unstable to varying degrees several times ----- most of her few canon scenes are this way. but typically they're during times of unease : the reaping, post torture in the capital. when she calms she does not present as neurodivergent, but there is a marked difference.
