So my brother and I had a very very long conversation about who the main characters in the original AA trilogy would main in Super Smash Bros Ultimate.
Here are the results, please fight me if you feel inclined I wanna know your thoughts (and keep in mind my brother plays a lot more than I do so if I say something wrong, uh... Whoops):
Phoenix Wright: Random
This man is insane. He might be the only person on the planet who picks random almost exclusively. Phoenix is all about being dealt a bad hand that he's not prepared for and making it work in his favor. He's no expert, but he picks it up fast enough to be a genuine wild card threat regardless of who he ends up playing. Eventually he becomes a sort of jack-of-all-trades and can play just about every character with at least a little proficiency.
Maya Fey: Kirby
Maya does not play Smash to be good. She plays Smash to be annoying. Her goal is to irritate everyone as much as humanly possible and she is very good at it. The first time they play she's like "Oh look Nick he's cute and likes food just like me teehee!" And then wipes the fucking floor with everyone else. She will stall in the air for as long as possible and she will laugh. She is straight up abusing that copy ability because nothing is funnier to her than using her friends own skills to wreck them.
She's not outrageously good, but she's noticeably better at the game than Phoenix when she actually wants to win.
Larry Butz: Zero Suit Samus
I mean it was either her or Bayonetta. I'm sticking with Zero Suit Samus for funny reasons that will be clear later. If not either of them he's doing K Rool or Donkey Kong.
He's really bad at the game, but he's a good sport about it. Instant punching bag for everyone else the minute the match starts.
Miles Edgeworth: Sheik
Now listen. In my heart he mains Peach, because I like to project stupid things onto my faves, but let's be so real- my dude is all about Sheik. The mystery. The drama. The speed.
This man is a closet nerd (a glass closet but still) and I'm convinced he would be a Zelda fan. Sheik is just obscure enough that he can pretend he doesn't know anything, and then instantly out himself by correcting someone when they say "Isn't he like Zelda's brother or something?"
Also noticeably better at the game than Phoenix.
Dick Gumshoe: Ice Climbers
He doesn't really play much (he can barely remember what each button does and he's not much of a video game guy) but when Maya convinces him to join he picks Ice Climbers. He likes cute little dudes, he likes friendship, what's not to love? He is not good at this game lmao, but he doesn't really want to be, he's just happy to be in the room with his pals.
Mia Fey: Samus
You know that game night has gotten real when Maya rolls her shoulders back, fixes her posture, and moves the selector to Samus. Challenger approaching, bitches.
Mia is crazy good at this damn game, and it's the worst because she's completely calm about it.
Maya will be cackling and whooping and cheering when she plays, but Mia just smiles placidly and keeps her attention on the screen. She responds to nothing. In this moment she has no other purpose, she only exists to beat your ass. The only time she breaks is after she wins the match and then she does her little hair flick thing and makes a smug joke about being "pretty good for a dead woman".
When Pearl channels her and she plays with Maya it becomes pretty obvious why she acts that way. The nonchalance annoys Maya soooo bad, and she is contractually obligated to harmlessly irritate her baby sister whenever possible. (It's all in good fun though, Maya loves it. She makes a game out of trying to get a rise out of her mid-match.)
((this is the funny bit, I just think it's fun to have her technically share a character with fuckin Larry of all people lmao))
Pearl Fey: Inkling / Isabelle
Pearly was actually one of the hardest to pin down. Eventually we settled on inkling because she would have such a fun time using the paint. It's all the gratification of violence with a built-in guarantee that no one is actually getting hurt because it's just paint. (At least, that argument would have worked on an 8yo me lol)
Isabelle is the follow up contender, I think Pearl would just vibe with her. Frame so small. Damage output so huge.
Pearl is surprisingly good at the game. Her fine motor skills aren't great and it takes her a while to remember how to do certain things (she's also just not familiar with any kind of controller so that doesn't help), but she's actually got a solid intuitive grasp on how to play. For all her jumping to conclusions, Pearl is actually a pretty great judge of character. She's really good at reading people, she's just 8 years old and lacking in context, so her conclusions are kinda spotty. Her powers of observation and ability to predict the people around her make her a genuine opponent, even against the adults in the room. (They have all let her win at least once though. Except for Larry and Gumshoe, they never last past like 40 seconds.)
Franziska von Karma: Wii Fitness Instructor
Ok. So. Franziska was invited to her first game night at the Wright & Co office. Maya eventually got her to play a round of Smash with them. Obviously, being a first time player, she lost.
She spent the next couple of weeks dedicating whatever free time she had to studying all the movesets and combos and strategy guides because she will NOT be defeated by this FOOLISH game!!
The next game night she locks the fuck in and is ungodly good. Maya is delighted to finally have a worthy opponent (Miles takes offense to this comment). Miles isn't surprised but he is very amused, especially when Franziska gets a little too invested and doesn't catch herself doing the gamer leaning-forward-thing until after the match is done. He doesn't say anything but she can feel his smug-ass look from the couch and she whips right next to his leg. (Phoenix almost jumps off the couch and has no idea why she did that)
She plays the Wii Fitness Instructor because it's the only character with somewhat sensible proportions and she "has no attachment to and/or knowledge of any of these foolish characters."
Eventually Maya will make her a custom Mii fighter that looks like her and she'll use that more often than not.
That's it, I've thought about this wayyyyyy too much
