♡ regressor!karen wheeler headcanons; sfw interaction only ♡
- it’s totally involuntary and she doesn’t really understand it. she just knows she gets “really soft” sometimes, that’s how she words it. since there’s no labels for regression in the eighties, she never figures out how to label it
- she really misses being a kid. she feels like her whole adulthood has been ted since she met him as a teen and she feels kind of trapped in her house. so, she goes back to being in the headspace of a little kid sometimes
- this is an involuntary coping mechanism but when ted would see her with certain behaviors, like if he caught her coloring, he’d always act like it was weird so she would hide it from him. she copes a lot through escapism, which is what unfortunately led to her alcoholism. when joyce finds out about both escapes: this and her alcoholism, she talks about how there’s nothing wrong with this because it’s healthy and encourages her to quit drinking which she eventually does (see: my karen wheeler sobriety headcanons)
- so, she hides it from ted because that keeps her safe but she finds out during that eighteen month period where they’re living together that she doesn’t need to hide it from joyce 🤍
- she melts at being called “baby.” especially when she’s regressing. she doesn’t like “honey” because that’s what ted would call her, often in a way that was condescending. she responds to “honey” with so much anxiety :( “baby” has never been used by him and so it feels really really safe
- she has some baby powder that she likes to wear when she’s small. it’s a nice contrast from her usual perfumes and hairsprays. she’ll put some on after her bubble bath which she loves even more when she’s regressing
- karen secretly owns a strawberry shortcake bubble bath set that she uses when she’s regressing. it has some bath toys and strawberry scented bubble bath!!
- she loves her disney movies! bambi, cinderella, and sleeping beauty. she can’t watch bambi when she’s regressing though, it’s way too much for her and she gets really sad
- karen is such a sleepy regressor but she also wants to do stuff like color. it’s a constant battle between “i want to do fun stuff” and “i just want to sleep and cuddle”
- she plays with holly’s barbie dream house while holly’s asleep and she comes up with the silliest storylines. usually involving barbies kicking ken out and moving in with each other 🩷
- she really loves her care bears. she’ll watch the show late at night when the kids are asleep, and she has a love-a-lot plushie! that bear is really worn out because she snuggles with it so much. since she’s in such a soft, hazy headspace she doesn’t really watch care bears for the plot and she giggles at everything
- she plays little games with her stuffie, pretends her stuffie is sick and she needs to take care of it, has a birthday for her stuffie that she’ll celebrate by buying cupcakes
- she’s even more sensitive than usual when she regresses. really clingy if she feels safe, too. she’s not (very) whiny and she’s definitely more on the quiet side. she doesn’t say much when she’s regressed, she just wants to be hugged and stuff
- x2 on karen being a really sensitive little one, it’s really important that she doesn’t watch any cartoons with sad moments. like she watched a cartoon where the animals were forgetting one of the animal’s playdates and she couldn’t stop crying. she’s also hesitant to cry when she’s small because she was bullied for being “a crybaby” as a kid and ted loves to play into it when he gaslights her, telling her she’s “too sensitive.” once there’s a person who knows about it though, which i think would be joyce, she gets a lot better with being sensitive and okay with being sensitive
- she’s really shy about needing stuff when she’s regressing, though. she has a serious sweet tooth regularly, but it gets multiplied by ten when she’s regressing. she also craves a lot of milkshakes because she used to have them everyday when she was little. usually it can be assumed that she just needs lots of sweets and blankets
- she used to suck on her middle and index fingers when she was little!! so, when she regresses she instinctively sucks on her fingers
- she loves her cozy blankets so much. she likes making little forts and nests with them, too. which works because she has tons and tons of pillows
- she loves glitter!! she likes using it with her eyeshadow. she gets it in her hair a lot by accident but she doesn’t really notice because it’s already a mess </3
- she doesn’t crave alcohol when she’s regressing which is really, really good for her!! she just wants sweets and lots of milk. she drinks milk religiously
- her hair gets really, really messy. even messier than usual/aff 🩷
- does she still crave her pancakes when she regresses? absolutely. but she likes cereal even more. especially the sugary kinds
- she regresses when she feels really safe with someone, when she’s really tired, or when something reminds her of a traumatic experience and she gets scared. it really depends
- she loves disney world but has never been able to go. joyce definitely wants to do that with her at some point, and they go in the early nineties
- she has some coloring books that are just for her, but she only colors with different shades of pink crayons
- it’s so hard for her not to slip when she’s at carnivals and fairs and stuff. like, that fourth of july celebration for example! she got so excited from the rides, fireworks, and cotton candy. she got even more excited when joyce showed up, it was a little overwhelming 💓
- she loves her baked goods when she’s regressed. she gets a little sad because she struggles to bake when she’s in that headspace, but she usually nibbles on the rest of whatever batch of sweets she made that week
- she’s just the most cuddly, cozy person ever. all the time and especially when she’s regressing
okay, that’s all my loves. ♡ if you don’t know what age regression is, that’s okay, but please please try not to look at the wrong places by accident if you do research on it, look for sfw and educational info and don’t believe any misinformation on tiktok and shock value or mean-spirited stuff. it’s more common than you think. it’s a totally healthy, sfw thing that is frequently a coping mechanism or trauma response. sfw interaction only, do not get this confused with anything nsfw.
