Warnings: smut, boss-employee relationship, angsty vibes, a whole lot of feels, dirty talk, one darker thought, kind of breeding kink?
Y/N’s P.O.V.
“Are you ready to leave?” I winced at the cold and detached tone from my bodyguard. This isn’t how he usually talked to me. Sure, he was nothing but cold and stoic when we first met and he started working for me, but it’d been over a year now. I believed we were friends now.
Of course, it was hard to believe that when he didn’t even so much as glance in my direction as he guided me outside of the building, protecting me from the crowds of screaming fans that I’d been so eager to please when I first arrived for this interview.
If only I’d known it would make him this angry.
The drive back to my house was silent, and I hated it. I hated it because it reminded me of those early days when I was still so unsure of him, unsure of how he felt about me. I was sure that he despised me. And my eager-to-please personality just couldn’t stand it.
Now that I knew that he liked me, his silence meant something even worse: his disappointment and anger. And I hated the thought of him being even discontented by my behaviour.
“Are you really going to ignore me forever?” The question escaped me before I could process it, making him stop in his tracks as he prepared himself to storm into my house and hide in his own designated wing. But I didn’t regret it once it was out. I much preferred to have him looking at me with fire in his eyes than pretending I didn’t exist at all.
“Isn’t this what you wanted? I mean, you ignored me earlier today, when I asked you not to go out into that crowd. Why shouldn’t I give you the same treatment?” I shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to deal with the realization that he was right, that I had disrespected him.
“I’m sorry.” It felt pathetic, especially since I couldn’t raise my eyes to meet his, but it was all I had, and if anything, it was honest. But when he scoffed, I knew it wouldn’t be enough, and I started to panic as I pondered what else I could do to make him forgive me.
“I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to listen to me. Why can’t you?” I didn’t know what to answer, but he didn’t seem to need it. He was on a roll now, and I knew it wasn’t the right time, but I found myself getting tongue-tied by the way the veins of his neck jumped out now that he was releasing his anger on me.
“This is my job,” he continued. “I’m supposed to keep you safe. I can’t do that if you don’t listen to what I ask you to do. Do you know what could have happened while you were out there, in a crowd of overexcited, uncoordinated people?”
“Yes.”
“Then why did you do it anyway?” He let himself fall on my couch, jaw still clenched, irritation perfectly clear in each and every one of his movements. And so I took a seat next to him, trying to figure out what I could possibly say to hopefully make this better, but I decided to start by putting a comforting hand on his thigh.
His eyes immediately followed my movement, and he stared at where I touched him for a while before raising his gaze to meet mine again. Anger had been somewhat replaced by hurt, and another sentiment I couldn’t quite identify.
“I don’t want to have to deal with your death. I can’t even bear the thought of that happening.” It was fear, I realized. Fear of losing me. And that feeling was so real, so heavy, so suffocating, that it had my own heart constricting, and I squeezed his thigh so he’d know I felt it too.
“It would be a lot of paperwork,” I tried to lighten the mood, but I knew he heard the unshed tears in my tone. They weren’t tears of fear, but of guilt. I hated that the bravest man I knew was scared, and I hated that I was the cause of it.
“Don’t even joke about that.” There was so much emotion behind his words that he had me raising my gaze to meet his, and what I saw there this time made me lose my breath. “I can’t lose you. And I don’t mean that as in I don’t want to be responsible for your death, but as in I can’t live without you.”
And suddenly I knew. He didn’t have to tell me - he was begging me not to ask him to say it, in fact. I could see that. But I knew. I knew him so well, I didn’t know how I didn’t see it before.
Maybe because I’d been so busy trying to hide my own love for him, I ignored his. It was easier that way, after all. Because it was obvious - the second we knew what the other felt, we would never be able to pretend it wasn’t there anymore.
“Kiss me,” I pleaded, and his eyes widened like he wasn’t expecting it. “Kiss me. Right now.” His eyes dropped to my lips as his opened up like he was actually tempted but just couldn’t find it in himself to do it. I’d leaned over his body now, practically on his lap, when his hands went around my torso to hold me over my lower back.
“I don’t want to kiss you,” he said, making me pout. And still, his eyes never left my lips while he licked his. “I want to knock some sense into you. Can’t be rewarding this kind of behaviour.”
His words thrilled me, sending a jolt of excitement through my body that had me actually throwing my leg on the other side of his lap so I could straddle him properly. His breath was coming out of his mouth now, his gaze undecided between my mouth or my eyes.
“Punish me in other ways,” I pleaded. He looked transfixed by what I was saying. “Make me cum until I cry. Make it hurt. Have me begging you to stop. I want to feel you for days.” He was breathing heavier now, his chest heaving with the effort to keep inhaling and exhaling because of my words.
Hotch’s P.O.V.
“Please, put me in my place.” Her words were like honey, spilling out sweet and tempting from her beautiful lips that were just inches from mine now. I wanted to reach out and touch them. I wanted to reach out and lick them, taste her words as she said them against my mouth. “I’ll be good then. I promise.”
There was only so much a man could take.
“Once I’m done with you...” I warned her, wrapping her nape with my hand and pulling her even closer. “... you won’t be able to walk.” And then I finally kissed her.
It was hungrier than I ever intended our first kiss to be, but she had made me desperate. Her sweetness only added to my need for more. Our lips danced together in a way I’d only dreamed of, and when I had to let us part to breathe, her question took away the last of my control.
“Promise?”
I carried her to her bedroom blindly, relishing in the weight of her in my arms, the feeling of her legs wrapped around my body as I managed to kiss her again the entire way there. Once she was back on her own feet, our clothes were sent flying across the room, her smaller hands trembling in excitement when she reached out to undo the buttons of my shirt.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I commented, cradling her face once her body was completely exposed to me. It prompted her to throw her arms around my neck and pull me down for another kiss, but it still wasn’t enough. I wanted more of her - I wanted all of her.
“Lay down,” I ordered. “You’re not going to succeed in making me forget this is supposed to be a punishment.” The haze of lust in her eyes betrayed just how aroused she was at the idea of suffering in my hands. “Spread that glistening little pussy for me, baby.”
Slowly, because she knew I was not a patient man, she opened her legs to show me just how wet she already was with the little we’d done that evening, her hands squeezing her own breasts as she stared up at me, throat dry and chest heaving with desire for her.
She awakened something dark in me, something I never thought I’d be able to explore. Now that she was here, ready and willing and exposed, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to just tuck it away again.
Making sure that she was watching me, I leaned over her already wet cunt and spit on it, unwilling to make this situation hurtful to her in any way, but also incapable of actually taking my time to prepare her thoroughly.
“Are you sure you really want this?” I asked, eyes connected to hers as I smeared my spit over her hole, watching her clench around nothing at the ghost of my digit. This was the last chance to back down, and although I wasn’t sure if I would actually be able to pull away if she changed her mind, I knew I needed to hear the answer.
“Yes, oh, God, Aaron, please!” The words were replaced with me pushing into her, groaning at the tightness that welcomed me hungrily. She whined out loud and I froze halfway in, scared I’d hurt her somehow, but at the lack of movement her limbs wrapped around me, her legs pushing my ass in an effort to get me to bottom out inside of her.
Her satisfied moan had me chuckling, even though I was over the moon myself. Old habits die hard, I guess, and I just had to tease her, “Oh, does that feel good?” All she could do was nod, but that was alright. We were both ready for me to start truly fucking her, and at the feeling of me almost pulling out to slam myself in again, she cried out, hands clawing at my back, hopefully leaving indentations.
“You like that, princess?” I’d only ever used the pet name before to mock her, and although there was definitely some sense of jest in my tone, there was still sweetness, wonder, infatuation. She nodded once more, mouth having fallen open after I entered her, leading me to kiss the corner of her lips instead of devouring her in the way I wished to do.
“This is what I’m gonna do every time you disobey me from now on,” I warned, changing the pace to make it harder, almost bruising even. I wanted her to be on the edge between pain and bliss, and I wanted her to forever remember who it was that brought her there.
“You think I don’t hear your moans when you lay on this bed at night and touch yourself?” Her gasp denounced her surprise, and she hid her face in the crook of my neck, holding me tighter.
“You think I don’t close my eyes and imagine it’s me making you moan, giving you pleasure?” That got her to stop hiding, gaze raising to meet mine, and I smiled, brushing the hair off her face as I took it between my hands.
“We won’t have to do that anymore, darling.” Kissing her deeply, I swallowed all of her moans before they could escape her, loving to be this connected to the woman who had stolen my heart.
“You know why?” I pulled away to catch my breath, watching her glossy eyes as she shook her head, unable to speak. “Because you’re mine now, all mine.”
Voicing my deepest desire rekindled my need, making me fuck her harder, spearing her over and over against the bed. I wanted to see the marks of our lovemaking later, the imprints of my nails, the bites all over her skin.
The thought of admiring them in the morning only spurred me on.
“Tell me you need me,” I incited, forehead glued to hers, desperate to hear the words from her own lips. “Tell me you’ll never disobey me again, never put yourself at risk dumbly.”
My voice was thick as I spoke, betraying the emotion I didn’t care to hide anymore. She smiled, hugging me to her and whispered, “worth it,” and how could I be mad?
“Again,” she ordered, and with another powerful thrust, I brought us to a release that was both blinding and revealing of some sentiments I’d struggled way too hard to keep in.
Heavy kissing followed said release. I didn’t want to catch my breath, I wanted to drown in her and this moment, forget about everything else for a while.
“I want you to be the mother of my children.” There it was, the words unspoken I couldn’t take back anymore. And instead of letting the moment fill with regret, I just got out of the bed and went to grab her a glass of water, hoping she’d forget all about it the moment I was back.
“Let’s do it.”
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If you enjoy my writing, please consider gifting me a coffee! 🩷
𖤹 IN WHICH : You bring up too Hotch that Jack has been asking about having a little bother or sister ..
Fluff comfort
𖤹 Godmother!reader x Aaron Hotchner 𖤹 WC:1.2k
Divider by @dollywons
“Aaron”…
you called out.
You had been sitting on the couch going through Pinterest looking at baby stuff, because Jack had asked you that morning if you and Daddy could give him a little sister or brother. You nearly choked on your glass of water when he said it — just casually over breakfast like it was the most normal question in the world.
He said his friends all have sisters or brothers and he hates being the only one who doesn’t. You didn’t even know what to say to him. You were just his godmother.
Now it was after dinner. Jack was asleep in his room, and Aaron was in the kitchen cleaning up. You were snuggled under a blanket with your phone still in your hand, but you hadn’t been scrolling for the last ten minutes. You couldn’t stop thinking about Jack’s question. It felt stuck in your head like a song.
Aaron turned around from the sink when he heard you say his name.
“Yeah?” he said, drying his hands on a towel.
You looked up at him from the couch. “Can I tell you something without it being weird?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Okay… now I’m curious.”
You sat up a little straighter, tucking your legs under you. “Jack… asked me this morning if we could give him a little sister or brother.”
Aaron blinked.
You looked down at your phone again. “He said he’s the only one in his class who doesn’t have one. He said it like we could just go pick one up from Target or something.”
Aaron let out a short breath — kind of like a laugh, but quiet. “He told me something like that last week. I thought he forgot about it.”
“Well, he didn’t,” you said. “And I didn’t know what to tell him. I’m not his mom. I’m just his—”
“You’re not just anything,” Aaron said from the kitchen.
That made you look at him again.
“I know I’ve never really said it,” he continued, “but you’re more than just his godmother. You’re here. Every day. You love him. He loves you. That counts.”
You nodded slowly, then looked back down at your phone. A baby onesie you’d saved earlier was still on the screen. It had little pink Purple Hearts on it .
“So what do we say if he asks again?” you asked quietly.
Aaron was quiet for a moment.
Then he came over and sat beside you, gently took your phone, and set it down on the coffee table. His hand brushed yours under the blanket.
“I think we tell him the truth,” he said. “That families can look all kinds of ways. And maybe... someday, yeah, it could happen. But even if it doesn’t, he’s not missing anything. He’s already got everything he needs.”
You let out a breath, softer now.
“Okay,” you said. “But if he asks again, you’re the one explaining where babies come from.”
Aaron smirked, leaning back into the couch beside you. “Deal.”
It’s been a few days since Jack brought up the subject about having a brother or sister.
You thought maybe he forgot about it.
Nope.
You were wrong.
You and Aaron were both sitting at the kitchen table this time when he brought it up. You were mid-bite of toast, Aaron sipping his coffee, and Jack sitting across from you with his favorite dinosaur fork in hand like it was just a normal morning.
“Can you and Daddy give me a baby sister now as he looked between the both of you?”
He said it just like that. So casual. Like he was asking for more juice.
You looked over at Aaron — and he nearly choked.
Actually choked on his bite of scrambled eggs. You had to look down to hide your laugh, hand covering your mouth.
You smiled at him as he coughed into his fist, trying to save whatever pride he had left. You were just glad you weren’t the only one caught off guard this time.
Jack just blinked, completely unfazed, and took another bite of his waffle.
Aaron finally cleared his throat, set his fork down, and glanced at you like you were going to answer.
You raised your eyebrows. “Oh, don’t look at me. This is your kid.”
Aaron sighed, wiped his mouth with a napkin, and turned to Jack.
“Buddy, that’s… not really something that happens overnight.”
Jack frowned, fork in mid-air. “But I asked like, forever ago. Forever ago to a kid is a few days ago you thought to yourself.”
You bit your lip to keep from laughing. Aaron shot you a look.
“Well, things like that take time,” Aaron said, doing his best to keep it neutral. He was so composed, but you could see the slight twitch in his jaw — the same one you’d seen during tense interrogations. You had to look away again.
Jack just shrugged. “Okay. I’ll wait. But I want a sister. Not a brother. Brothers are annoying.”
Aaron blinked again.
You reached for your coffee, grinning into the cup.
“Noted,” Aaron said finally.
Jack nodded like it was all settled, then went back to stabbing his waffle like nothing happened.
You leaned closer to Aaron and whispered, “You better start researching sippy cups again.”
Aaron just closed his eyes for a second. “Please don’t say that.”
You smiled.
Too late.
Later that evening, you had knocked on Aaron’s bedroom door.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked without looking up.
“No,” you said softly.
He was sitting up in bed, back against the headboard, wearing his navy blue shirt and boxer shorts. His reading glasses were on, and he had his phone in his hand.
You stepped inside, leaned against the doorway. “Pinterest?” you teased.
“...Actually, yes,” he said, not even denying it.
That made you smile a little. You crossed the room and climbed onto his bed, laying down next to him, the comforter pulled up over your legs. You leaned your head on his shoulder and peeked at his screen. He didn’t try to hide it.
He was looking at baby girl blankets. Little pink ones with ruffles. Some had flowers. One had hearts.
“You’re thinking about it,” you said quietly.
He looked over at you. His face was unreadable, but his eyes were soft.
“I know Jack would be happy,” he said. “He wouldn’t be by himself.”
You nodded, tracing a loose thread in the comforter with your finger.
“But I’m just not sure if I’m ready yet,” he said, voice low.
You didn’t answer right away. Just stayed beside him, quiet. You understood.
“I know what it means,” he said after a second. “It’s not just another baby. It’s... a whole life. Another person depending on me. Depending on us.”
“I wouldn’t let you do it alone,” you said softly.
“I know,” he said it’s just it might give me a second chance and “That’s the only reason I’m even thinking about it.”
You looked up at him. His jaw was tight, eyes still on the phone, but he wasn’t really looking at it anymore.
You reached over and took the phone gently out of his hand, setting it on the nightstand.
Then you whispered, “We don’t have to figure it out tonight.”
Aaron nodded.
But neither of you moved.
Just sat there, quiet in the dim light. Thinking. Breathing. Wondering.
And maybe just maybe , You and Jack might get your wish after all and you get to be the family you always wanted .
A/n: this was so fun writing it I can imagine Jack asking them this and I had to write it .. I hope you enjoy it .. I’m having baby fever now but Aaron Hotchner being a father again to your child eek would be a wish come true .
Hey 🤗 Can you please do a os with Hotch having a lot younger girlfriend (Like 21 or something) and the team and everyone is hitting on her before they realize she's the girlfriend of Hotch? I love your Stories! 😍
Yes, I can! And thank you so much, darling! I’m glad you like them!
The team arrived in the bullpen after the latest case already trying to get on Hotch’s nerves, regardless of the late hour
“Glad to see spirits are high despite what we witnessed these last few days. Now, if you excuse me, I have some work to do before I can go home.”
And he got to his office without noticing the woman reading patiently in one of the chairs in the meeting room.
But he still heard Prentiss’ comment about how he was “just mad because he’ll be going to bed all alone tonight”
All because he didn’t want to go out for drinks with them
Everyone started to gather their stuff, making idle chit chat here and there
Until JJ realized Spencer was frozen in one spot, looking at the poorly lit meeting room.
“What’s up with you?” She asked until she saw the woman, too.
“Who’s that?”
“No idea. She’s been sitting here ever since we got here.”
“Maybe she’s a new intern,” Morgan quickly piped in, trying to get a better look at you. “Whoever she is, she’s definitely steaming. Maybe we can convince her to join us for drinks?”
They all slowly approached you while Rossi stayed behind, sat on Spencer’s chair, silently chuckling to himself as he knew what was about to happen.
You only realized they were standing there, staring at you, mid-swirl on your chair.
“Oh, hi! You guys got here earlier than I was expecting. Is Aaron in his office?”
Puzzled looks were all you got as a response as you finally put your feet on the floor, giggling.
“Sister?” Penelope whispered to Spencer, who shook his head emphatically.
“He only has a brother.”
“Maybe niece? She’s young,” JJ suggested, to which the rest shrugged.
“She looks so sweet and innocent, where are y’all seeing the connection?” Emily asked, to which JJ and Penelope broke down laughing, making you raise an eyebrow at the group.
“Is there a problem?” You were confused, you thought Aaron had told the group about you by now.
“Not at all, we were just wondering if you’d like to join us for drinks. Maybe then we could convince Hotch to go, too.”
Your eyebrows were raised at the offer, but not as high as they got at the following comment made by Morgan.
“Promise we can show you a real good time.”
That, accompanied by a wink, was sufficient to get the rest of the group groaning
They all knew that once he started, it was impossible to get him to shut up
But they didn’t realize that you didn’t mind Morgan’s silly attempt at hitting on you, your eyes sparkling as you noticed the man approaching with Rossi from behind their backs
“What are you all still doing here? I thought you had some drinks waiting for you at the bar.”
And then, much to everyone’s absolute surprise, he took you in his arms and kissed the hell out of you.
“You smell so nice.”
“Thanks, it’s the perfume you got me.”
The silence in the room caught his attention, making him realize that everyone was staring at the both of you like you’d grown two heads each.
“What?”
“Apparently, you forgot to let them know about me,” you fakely chastised, fixing his tie.
The smirk on his face lets you know that it definitely hadn’t been an accident.
“Oh, well. I wanted you to be able to witness the shock factor too.”
“So sweet.”
“Wait, so this means… She’s your girlfriend?” Prentiss exclaimed, visibly surprised.
“Who’s really going to be sleeping alone tonight?”
And with a wink, he directed you to the exit, while you giggled at his colleague's shocked expressions.
I’m all here for younger!girlfriend making Hotch more youthful, I feel like that’s so cute!
The one where Aaron hurts you, but he knows just how to heal you.
When Hotch comes home one day and takes out his frustrations on you, you’re sent spiraling into a depressive state that you were all too familiarized with. But as your boss and closest friend, he’s the only one who knows how to take care of you during a relapse. His efforts to fix the situation end up awakening a different side of him, a side that might just be precisely what you’ve been missing in a time like that.
for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist
Y/N’s P.O.V.
I was already working by the time he arrived in the office, despite the fact that he was usually one of the first ones to arrive. I reminded myself to keep staring at my screen and not give him the satisfaction of knowing he still had some space in my mind, and as he slowly made his way to the office, I was able to forget about his entire existence as I threw myself in the work.
I was gone before he made his way out of his room.
The next day followed pretty much the same pattern, he would pass through me and I would force myself not to look at him until suddenly, I didn’t need to. I was so inside my own head I completely forgot about anything else, trapped inside the walls of my own terrible thoughts.
By the time I realized something was wrong, I was already back home and since I had the next day off, no one would be around to help get me out of here.
The next morning arrived and I found myself wondering if I had slept through the whole night or had simply spent it looking at the ceiling, watching the shadows move. I had lost complete control over time by then.
Suddenly, my phone echoed from somewhere in the living room and I found myself getting up from the bed and blindly going through the motions of looking for it, answering the call without even looking at the caller.
“Hello?” I asked, my brain still not catching up to me.
“Y/N? Oh, good, you answered!” It was Reid, I faintly recognized. “We need you to come in! There’s an unsub who’s been terrorizing a town close to here and we might need your abilities to catch him.”
I didn’t remember agreeing or getting out of the house, but I could see how I was too tired to even explain I wouldn’t be of much help to anyone at the moment. When I got inside the plane, I dropped into the first seat I found, staring out of the window without really realizing that everyone was already there and they were all staring at me as if I had grown two heads.
Time meant nothing to me as we suddenly found ourselves already in the local police precinct. I barely remembered hearing an argument between Aaron and Reid that had resulted in both of them agreeing it was best to leave me there with the genius, and I stared at the wall of evidence without really seeing it.
If Reid tried to talk to me - or anyone else for that matter - I had absolutely no idea. I couldn’t hear anyone with how far into the hole I had allowed myself to crawl. But suddenly, the smaller part of my brain that seemed to still be worried about other people connected something I must have seen or heard, and I found myself abruptly grabbing Spencer’s forearm while explaining to him who the killer was. In less than thirty minutes, everyone was back on the precinct and we were back on the plane again.
I sat in the same seat as before, still looking out at the window without really seeing when I felt someone sit down next to me, but I was too far away to care.
Hotch’s P.O.V.
We all watched as Spencer carefully wrapped his hands around one of Y/N’s arms and pulled her to him. The speed with which she turned her head to look at him should have given her whiplash, but she simply looked up at him like she couldn’t really see him. Like she wasn’t really there.
Then suddenly, her eyes focused, seeing his concerned ones, and she abruptly curled into herself, crying so hard she was shaking.
If there was anything left of my heart after how I had beaten myself over how I treated her, how I felt as I saw her ignore my existence for two whole days and how it felt to see her in sweatpants and a loose t-shirt for the first time in my life, it broke at the sight before me. The plane had taken flight and yet no one seemed to have realized, everyone simply staring at her with the same concern Reid showed.
She cried for the entire duration of the flight home, and only as we approached Washington did Reid try to interrupt her. “Y/N,” he shook her gently, his arms still strongly holding her against him. I tried not to focus too much on how hard I wished I could be the one consoling her. “Do you want to come home with me? I don’t think you should be alone right now.”
That silenced her. Her sobs slowly came to an end until only a few single tears were rolling down her face. She shook her head. “No, Spencer, thank you.” Her voice cracked as she spoke in front of me for the first time in three days and I felt like I couldn’t breathe at the sadness that she transpired.
“Okay, I understand that, but can you promise me that you’ll call me if you have the urge to do anything stupid? Please?” No one in the plane was breathing by then. Everyone knew under which conditions Y/N had come to work for us and it was the first time we were experiencing how she was like when depression overcame her.
Still, the silence continued. She didn’t give him an answer, staring at her own fingers who played with the edge of her shirt.
“Y/N? Please, promise me.” He shook her, trying to get through to her, who suddenly sobbed again.
“I can’t Spence, okay? I just can’t! I can’t promise you I’ll think of you before doing something stupid, I can’t promise you I will want you to intervene if things go bad.” By then, we had landed. However, no one had made a single move towards the exit. I could see Spencer was opening his mouth to argue with her and what he was going to offer we will never know, ‘cause by then, I had seen enough. Laying a hand on top of his shoulder, I silenced him before he spoke.
“That won’t be necessary, Spencer. She will be coming home with me.” My words were said with such authority that not even her had any strength to argue with me. Raising her eyes to look me in the eyes for the first time in forever, I counted a full minute before she softly nodded, quickly climbing out of Spencer’s lap and following me out of the plane.
Y/N’s P.O.V.
I didn’t argue when he offered me his hand to hold as we walked towards his car in the parking lot. I didn’t argue when he pulled up in front of my house and asked me for my keys, so he could pack me some things to bring to his place. I noticed he didn’t leave his own keys inside the car with me, however. Smart boy.
He didn’t try to break the silence as we approached his own place. I could only imagine how beaten I must have looked, my eyes sunken from the lack of sleep and the amount of crying I had done. It felt good, however. It had helped to bring me back to the surface, if only for a little bit.
As he opened the door to the house I thought I would never see again, I was greeted with the scream of my own name and a running child who quickly jumped in my arms. Jack.
I hugged the little guy as strongly as I could without actually hurting him. I could barely understand his excitement as he explained how he wasn’t expecting to see me since his father had said I wouldn’t be coming around for a while.
If I was more like myself, I would have snorted, but as it were, I could simply smile softly at him.
“Well, Y/N’s going to be staying with us for a while now, Jack. So you don’t have to worry about her leaving any time soon.” I felt Aaron’s hand in my shoulder as he gently pushed me further inside the house, before suggesting his son took me to play with his Marvel action figures. “I’ll unpack your things in the guest bedroom,” he said, looking me in the eyes, and I understood that was his way of warning me he would do a full sweep of everything that I could possibly use to hurt myself.
I let Jack guide me into his room and by the time Aaron came to tell us the pizza had arrived, I had a genuine smile on my face for the first time in a while. Only this little guy could make me start to crawl back up from the well I had hidden so quickly.
I started to realize how smart Aaron was. I mean, I knew he was intelligent and an amazing agent, I worked with him, but it was only when Jack asked if I wasn’t going to eat my pizza that I caught a glimpse of how brilliant his mind truly was.
Of course I couldn’t not eat. Not when Jack was looking up at me with expectant eyes, and not when I knew he wouldn’t want to eat himself if I didn’t eat at least one slice. So I smiled and took a bite off of my pizza. “I’m eating, kiddo. I was just spacing out for a bit, sorry.” He gave me such a bright smile that I felt myself feeling a bit better again, better enough to give Aaron an angry look when Jack wasn’t looking, to which he simply responded with a tight-lipped smile and a look so soft in his eyes that I couldn’t quite understand, but took my breath away nonetheless.
“Why does she get to eat with her hands, dad?” Jack interrupted whatever the hell was going on, and I had to blink twice before understanding what he meant.
“I don’t know, buddy, ask her why she eats it like that!”
Aaron’s P.O.V.
Seeing her even briefly looking like she usually was warmed my heart in a way I never expected it to. I always loved seeing her interact with Jack, but knowing that her connection to him was so strong that it pulled her from wherever the hell she had hidden inside herself made me feel like I was stupid to think I could ignore our own bond.
She wiped her hands on the napkin that was on her lap before answering. “Actually, it is bad table manners to eat pizza with a fork and knife,” she explained, and instantly I knew what was coming.
“Oh, no, son, keep using your utensil,” I warned him, but I was already chuckling.
“But you’re always telling me I have to follow the proper manner, especially while eating,” I nodded, conceding to him that.
“But we don’t know for a fact that what Y/N is saying is the right way to do it,” I argued, only to be interrupted by the culprit herself.
“Actually, as the only person at this table who has actually gone to Italy, my argument is much stronger than any of yours, right now,” she reminded us, to which I finally shrugged, after smiling down at her.
“Okay, let’s try this,” I picked up my own slice before jokingly toasting it with Jack’s.
I watched as she softly read Jack’s night time story, my heart clenching at the sight of her leaning down to kiss his forehead after he fell asleep. She quietly left the room, closing the door beside her as she stood in front of me, nervously pushing the curls that were in front of her face out of her vision.
“Okay, I got it. I can go now if you want. I swear I’m better.” I cocked my head to the side, analyzing her. That she was better than she was when she had gotten in this house, that much was obvious, but I couldn’t let her go before I actually knew she was 100% back to normal.
“Let me show you to the guest room,” I took her hand in mine once more, terrified by how cold her fingers felt as I held them, but she didn’t make any movement to separate us or reinforce her desire to go to her own place. I opened the door for her, letting her go in and look around. “If you need anything, I’m right down the hallway, okay? Try to get some sleep.” She nodded, her eyes focused on the edge of her blouse once more. I felt the need to cross the distance between us and kiss her on the forehead, but I refrained. “Good night, Y/N,” I softly whispered before retreating back to my own room.
The morning came quickly and I was excited to spend Saturday with my son and Y/N, hopefully helping her come back to normal quickly, so I could finally have a heart to heart and apologize for what I had said. When I got into the kitchen, she was already there, a full-on feast waiting on the table as she finished flipping pancakes.
“Did you even sleep?” I joked, but worry quickly clouded my mind as she glanced up at me with a guilty look on her face.
Y/N’s P.O.V.
I was saved from further inquiry as Jack quickly made his way in the kitchen and into his father’s arms, undoubtedly having heard him coming down the stairs. He excitedly shouted about pancakes and activities planned for the day and I took up the opportunity to finish the pancakes, motioning them to sit on the table as I followed suit.
We ate leisurely, comforted by the knowledge that we had the whole day ahead of us, and I made the effort to actually be present in the conversation, behaving in the way I would normally do. I could see that the act, paired with the enormous amount of concealer I had used to hide my eye bags, had actually managed to fool Aaron.
A part of me felt guilty, knowing that he was putting so much effort into helping me and I wasn’t being completely honest with him, but I knew this is what I needed to do. I had to get out of there, so he wouldn’t have to feel burdened by his responsibility towards me, as team leader, anymore.
I was just finishing my cup of coffee when Aaron’s phone resonated through the room, abruptly interrupting the conversation as he sent Jack a guilty smile before standing up to answer it. I tried to distract the kid, but he was already too smart for his own age. Having grown up in the Hotchner household, he knew by now what it meant when his dad’s phone rang on a Saturday.
I didn’t listen to his conversation but when he came back down, he was already dressed to work. Before I could say anything, he explained that there weren’t any cases that needed the team’s attention, but he had been called into a meeting with other team leaders. “I’m sorry, son, I know you were looking forward to spending the day with me.” He leaned down to deposit a kiss on Jack’s forehead before turning to me. “I might be gone through most of the day, these things tend to run far into the evening… Are you sure you can handle everything around here?” I knew what he meant. He wanted to know if he could trust me to be alone. I nodded before assuring him that I would spend the day with Jack and we could do something together later in the evening when he came back, or tomorrow. That seemed to reanimate the little guy while also tranquilizing his father, who nodded at me once, a thankful smile on his face, before turning around and leaving.
I spent most of the day busy trying to be busy. I wanted to occupy Jack so he wouldn’t notice something was off, but I also needed to distract myself, not only from my own dark thoughts but also from the fact that I could very well fall asleep at any time. I was deadly tired, but even after I had put him in bed for an afternoon nap, I couldn’t allow myself to go to sleep. This is what I deserved. I had to deal with these voices, reminding me I didn’t deserve any kindness these people offered me. Especially not Hotch’s, since it was simply him doing what he needed to do, in order to fulfill his duty as a team leader who had been burdened with the responsibility of dealing with an agent’s suicidal past.
That’s what was going through my mind as I stood in the middle of the kitchen, not even noticing how I slowly balanced myself from one leg to the other, my eyes slowly dropping. I didn’t even realize what was happening, only that I suddenly felt much lighter than I previously was, and suddenly, my mind went blank.
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between us - aaron hotchner smut mini-series masterlist
The one where Aaron hurts you, but he knows just how to heal you.
STATUS: COMPLETED
When Hotch comes home one day and takes out his frustrations on you, you’re sent spiraling into a depressive state that you were all too familiarized with. But as your boss and closest friend, he’s the only one who knows how to take care of you during a relapse. His efforts to fix the situation end up awakening a different side of him, a side that might just be precisely what you’ve been missing in a time like that.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V (the end)
Warnings: angst, depression, self-harm thoughts and discussions, smut, bdsm dynamics, daddy kink, spankings, and I think that’s about it.
THIS STORY WAS WRITTEN BY BUCKYOWNSMYLIFE AND IF YOU SEE IT POSTED BY ANYONE ELSE, IT HAS BEEN STOLEN. PLEASE LET ME KNOW ON TUMBLR, AO3 OR WATTPAD AND REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY. LEGAL ACTION WILL BE PURSUED AGAINST PLAGIARISTS SO THINK TWICE BEFORE STEALING IT.
A/N: Okay, so this fic is really self-serving because I just got out of another depression slump and my husband had to pretty much figure out by himself that the kind of dynamic we have in the bedroom helps me keep my mind straight when applied to my emotional relapses - particularly when I’m feeling dettached from everything and everyone. I hope some of you identify with this, because honestly, it’d make me feel a hell of a lot better about myself 😂
If you enjoy my writing, please consider gifting me a coffee! 🩷
