fanfic ask game: 1, 5, 10, 28, 32
ahhhhh my most studious lab partner, together we have crafted such wonderful works!!
1: write a scene from [insert fic] in another character's POV
i will happily do this if you tell me which fic and which character you want 👀
5: What's something you learned while researching a fic
the joy of mainly writing fic for thai series is that i routinely have to google something really dumb and obvious but i think my favourites have to be 'does thailand have horses' and 'does thailand have mice' because you'd assume yes (they do) but i am irish which means i am allergic to taking things for granted fhdsjhfdskj
when i was writing for 'last chance to feel human' i had to do research (read: i asked my mam) as to what level of ability an eighteen month toddler would be at re: speaking and sitting/standing, which was fun bc the context is kim wondering if venice is old enough to sit up on his own yet and the reality is that venice is walking and (mostly) talking like imagine kim getting stuck babysitting expecting venice to be maybe rolling over and maybe sitting up and then venice is toddling full speed around the house hfsdkjdsk
10: Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet?
yes and no bc when i want to write for a character or ship i will immediately crack out a doc and write down the idea but most of the time i will then abandon it just as fast <3
so i think out of the wip pile possibly the one with nont and resident normal guy puen having a conversation is up there, i'd love to finish that one
i seem to be allergic to full aus but i do love this one idea i had for phoenix porsche but i can't think of an idea to go with the concept unforchies :(
28: what's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?
you already knowwwwwww - it's possibly the one with kenta and baby peanut and him covered in blood and running to pete with the baby and hhhhhhhhhhh oh it's so sad it's so awful it's so desperate it's sooooooo crunchy <333
for those that don't live in the discord between me and abe - probably the reverse hanahaki kimchay one where kim dies horribly in an effort to protect chay from himself but in the end dooms chay to die as well because once kim dies chay realises that he loves kim but now can never confess to him and is thus doomed to die as well. that one is p fun >:)
32: a character you enjoy making suffer
kim, kim and kenta - idk man it's something to do with the k names it just invites misery and suffering!
there's different kinds of suffering to subject them to, which is mwah mwah chefs kiss delightful we love a varied diet!
khimhant: the idea of being isolated from loved ones out of the belief that it is for their safety but in reality the impact of isolating yourself from human connection and struggling to breach that divide and feeling that you are inherently incapable or undeserving of connection and love - oh i love to make him miserable! and then to have someone reach out and offer that connection and bring him to the realisation that he is not, in fact, a horrible monster undeserving of forgiveness or compassion.
for him i have two fics in particular that look at this - last chance to feel human and house was almost full that day. the first one is him biting the bullet (which i almost think he'd rather do) and reaching out to vegas for help and going to vegas' home and seeing that the big bad vegas theerapanyakhul has a home and a child and a comfortable jumper - he's got a life beyond just hurting people, beyond what his father did to him. there's hope for kim.
i think that's one of the fics i'm most proud of actually? seeing kim not as khimhant or wik but just. kim. some guy. vegas' little cousin. macau's big cousin. he's someone's family and they love and care for him regardless of whether he thinks he deserves it. it's similar in how with porsche in 'house was almost full that day' porsche sees him as his kid's little brother's boyfriend and his own partners little brother. he's not thrown off by the violence kim has done, he doesn't act like kim is some woo woo boogeyman oh so scary - he's just kim. chay's boyfriend with the dumb haircut and general rich kid lack of manners. where vegas doesn't only treat him the way he does because kim is his family but because he and kim were treated the same way by their respective fathers, he knows exactly why kim is the way he is and how difficult it is to move beyond what he's been made do to others for his father's benefit etc, porsche treats him the same way he does chay because he doesn't think to do anything else.
porsche is friendly and enthusiastic and outgoing and regardless of what kim thinks, kim is little brother shaped and porsche picks up on that! he teases kim! he ruffles his hair and tells him not to be a little shit and all but calls him champ.
part of why kim sees himself as so separate from his own humanity is because people don't engage with him on a human level - there's wik the idol (+the inherent dehumanisation of idols etc etc) and there's khimhant the enforcer (+the inherent dehumanisation of being seen as a weapon) and no one thinks about kim the person. even with chay, it takes time for him to see kim less as wik the idol and more as kim the human and it's when he starts seeing him as kim the human that kim gets scared and tries to run!
porsche knows what he does for the family (and he's vaguely aware of 'oh yeah wik that's that singer chay had a crush on') but ultimately he is someone who responds to the way people act towards him, not the ideas of people he gains from others - eg. everyone tells him vegas is a snake and not to be trusted but he does trust him, he does like him, because as far as he knows vegas has only ever been nice and welcoming to him (+ even after porsche realises what vegas did to pete, he goes off of what pete (the person he cares for) wants and pete wants to talk to vegas so even though porsche is mad with vegas he settles it with a punch and a threat and then afterwards he's chill with vegas! he's not a complicated person! and that carries into his interactions with kim and it's so important for someone to treat kim as just some normal guy!
...
what was the question again
oh yeah
kenta: you know and i know that man doesn't see himself as human (perhaps a trend fhdskjf) and it's so fun to play with. as you have said before, kenta with the knife, kenta as the knife - if all he has been raised to do is be obedient and enact violence at his fathers bequest (for those who are new here hi im on the 'kenta is tony's biological son' train) (you get a tinfoil hat when you sign up), then how are you supposed to act when suddenly you are given freedom and autonomy? i find it so fascinating that a) kenta is the one to kill tony and b) he goes from being tonys dog (!!!) to being in prison - because is there even a difference at the end of the day? how does he go on to then interact with kim, who treats him as an autonomous human being because what else would he do? many such snackpack thoughts but especially about kenta being brought into a home and a family with a very young child and grappling with his past and how these people could trust him to be around their child when he has enabled the harm of so many children and it's so complicated and so messy and no wonder him and kim connect the way they do (i know you know)
kim minsu: (banging on table) kim haunted by his past! kim dealing with night terrors and aching bones from his time as a captive! he was beaten and locked in a windowless room! kim has seemingly no connection to whatever family he has back in korea! kim! kim! kim! kim!!!!!!!!!
