Wanted to post something about this because it's really interesting and unexpected: Cairo has actually settled as a Belgian hare.
I think I mentioned this before, but Cairo started out as a cross between a character and a childhood imaginary friend. He already had a form that I saw him as and it's remained relatively consistent throughout the time I've known him even outside of being a daemon. Since recognizing him as a daemon, he's cycled through a few animal forms that we both liked, but his original form has always been his true form, the form that I envisioned when not intentionally trying to see him as something else.
I only just recently realized that it's changed. We've established that he most closely relates to rabbits, but now, whenever I subconsciously look for Cairo, he's in the form of a Belgian hare (technically a breed of rabbit bred to look like a hare). One explanation would be that, because rabbits are real, it's easier to find visual references for them. The thing is, I'm not too interested in rabbits artistically, so the only references I have for them, especially the Belgian hare, were a handful of photos I looked at about a year ago. I draw him in his original form all the time.
idk, this is just interesting to me because I really didn't expect it. I figured he'd have his fun running around as various animals but always return to how original form, how I originally saw him. Now it's almost the opposite. He can technically still change forms since I can make myself envision him however I want, but he's not too comfortable with it anymore. Kind of makes me sad since his original form has been such a big part of our lives, but more than anything, I'm curious as to what it means for us.
This started as a comment on the original post, but then it got ridiculously long.
I've never heard of an Obyati before, and the document was a very interesting read, especially because i think Cairo and Agate fit the description of an Obyati more than they do a traditional daemon.
I know there are many different interpretations of daemons and everyone practices daemonism differently, but based on what I consider a daemon to be (for myself), the term has never completely fit. I've always interpreted daemons to be a reflection of your soul, and a personification of your subconscious, essentially 'you' and your thoughts given a personality. Their form and voice and character are formed out of your subconscious, and while you can try to intentionally guide your daemon's development, they will become whatever you need them to be, whether you consciously agree with their conclusion or not.
Cairo and Agate are a part of me and come from me, but they are not 'me'. I intentionally created them for use outside of personal guidance or companionship (or any other function a daemon might serve). While they have definitely evolved over time and eventually took up the general role and duties of a daemon, their origins remain and still influence who they are and how they interact with both me and each other.
Arguably, this can be the origin of a daemon as well. As I said, I know there are numerous different interpretations outside of my own. Really, I'm fine to still call Cairo and Agate my daemons, but I've never been so sure that they are something just a bit different until I awakened Cobalt.
I consider Cobalt to be my 'true' daemon. This does not make them any more important to me than Cairo and Agate, I just feel like they most closely represent what I understand a daemon to be. They kind of created themself, their form and voice and character coming from what I presume to be my subconscious. I did not intentionally decide on any part of them outside of deciding to try to awaken them in the first place. In fact, they have disagreed with the few things I did try to impress upon them (like a name change. I feel 'Cobalt' doesn't fit their personality).
Of course, Agate and Cairo have more of an opinion of themselves now, and I cannot intentionally change them anymore, but the fact remains that I could in the past, and those choices still impact our present.
Well, this got really long and rambly and tbh it doesn't matter very much to us. I'll still refer to Agate and Cairo as my daemons, if just for simplicity's sake. It's only a label to us. However, it's interesting to think about, especially as I try to figure out how everyone fits in with everything as we move forward.
Cairo: You’re not going to fail your classes as long as you do the work. You’ve spoken with your professors and they’ve told you what to do. The path has already right before your feet; all you have to do now is walk.
Also Cairo: This bacon is dry and tasteless and an insult to God.
I’m cracking up. During my dive into daemon analysis, I stumbled across striped possums, which seem like a scarily accurate portrayal of who I am.
Cairo is... not pleased. He thinks they’re ugly despite my attempt to convince him otherwise. He said, and I quote, “look at that thing and tell me there is a God”.
he likes to read with me. We are about halfway through with Watership Down and take turns reading a chapter.
He’s not a fan of singing. We tried once, but he really didn’t like it.
He doesn’t want a bird form. I think it would be convenient (and I like birds) but he’s really against the idea for some reason.
He likes to shift into a rat when we’re in a crowded place. Normally, he’s about the size of an elementary school kid when he stands or the size of a medium sized dog when he’s on all fours.
He is horrified by that one super muscular kangaroo that crosses our dashboard every now and then. I commented that, form-wise, he looks more like a kangaroo than a rabbit. He got really offended at that, tho today, he grudgingly told me that if I thought of him as a smaller and cuter type of kangaroo, he would be ok with it
He’s a silly little shit. Saw a crow hopping across the road and decided that he was going to hop like that for the next 20 minutes.
Is not the biggest fan of the internet. (apparently I lied when i said we both want to meet other daemians and daemons. Apparently, it’s just me :/)
We had a tiny bit of a disconnect earlier because I was expecting Cairo to be more like my conscience and get after me when I wanted to do things like skip class or not do my homework. While Cairo does get concerned when I procrastinate, he actually doesn’t care much about following the rules. Actually, we had a long conversation today about exactly whose “rules” I think I’m following... was very interesting.
Talking about the animals I’ve related to in the past:
Me: So there was the cat, dragon, horse, raptor, snake, and dog. And, well, hare, I guess.
Cairo: why did you relate to them?
Me: Well, cats are aloof, dragons are mythical (I’m imaginative?), raptors are smart little shits, snakes are quiet and misunderstood, dogs are loyal and obedient... I don’t know about how I relate to a hare yet, but that’s kinda the point right? We’re just figuring it out?
Cairo: Makes sense. But how did you relate to the horse?
I have a lot of thoughts on my daemon, Cairo, and his origins. Figured I’d share them here. there’s a really long explanation under the read-more
I call Cairo my “daemon” for the sake of simplicity, but I use that term a bit loosely as he doesn’t seem to fit the usual description of daemons that I have seen. For one, his form has been mostly settled for as long as I remember, and I first met(?) him when I was very young. Another thing is that he doesn’t take the form of a real animal. I’ve seen some debate as to the legitimacy of “daemons” that aren’t real animals, but I have my own thoughts on how this applies to Cairo.
For one, Cairo originated as my version of the character Guilmon from the digimon tamers series. This was back when I was still in elementary school. Aside from the name, voice, and being vaguely dinosaur-like in shape (and waving psuedo wings for ears), my Guilmon’s character didn’t resemble the cartoon character at all. I used a t-rex beanie-baby to represent him physically (I still have him) He was intelligent (though we played that down when playing pretend with others), thoughtful, and more “real” than any other stuffed animal or character I’d developed thus far. He was my confidante and friend when I felt alone, and I think he was the only one of my stuffed animals/characters (they were the same thing back then) that I actually talked to with half an expectation of receiving an answer.
Fast-forward a few years (middle school/high school). For the most part, I no longer played with stuffed animals (with a few exceptions), but Guilmon still hung around. I didn’t talk to him as much, but he was still my partner, guardian, and companion. As I started writing stories that I actually want to publish one day, I changed Guilmon’s name to Blaze, seeing as I didn’t want to get hit with a copyright infringement. From there, Blaze followed my personas and other characters into their worlds. Here, he took on a lot of roles, though they all came back around to protector, companion, guardian, confidante. He’s only really interacted with characters that were my actual self-inserts or personas, and he was always more than a character. I could never write him as just another oc; he knows too much about me, the writer, and he’s been around for longer than any of my stories.
Fast-forward again to the summer of 2018. This was the first summer I spent on my own, living away from my family situation (which is an entire other conversation). This is also about the time I realized I was having a lot of issues with depression and anxiety. As a college student, I know I wasn’t alone in these issues, and yet, I was so alone. I only had one friend and she was busy all the time (not her fault, I don’t resent her for it). I wasn’t close to most of my family and was actively avoiding the handful of family members that I was close to. During this time, Blaze came back to me. My friend, my confidante, my shelter from the biting loneliness. We only interacted within the context of “stories” (not actively talking to each other) but these stories were ones that were never written and only played out in my head. Just small scenes where he told me that I wasn’t alone, that I still had him no matter how much I or my circumstances changed.
We’ve maintained that sort of relationship up to this point. I’m not physically alone anymore (I have a lot of people I can talk to or hang out with if I want, and I have a better relationship with my family) but I still feel like everything is slipping out of my hands and I don’t know why. I finally got into my major (I’m a junior now), I have a good relationship with my family, I’m taking classes that are on subjects that I actually enjoy, I’m finally on an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. And yet, a combination of poor time-management, and persistent apathy toward my existence as a whole has brought me to another low point.
At first, I wanted to create a tulpa, a concept that I’d been interested in before but then forgot about. I wanted someone that would be with me all the time and would (hopefully) help me get my life in order. However, that didn’t seem fair since I tulpa is a being with its own separate existence. I didn’t want to force an ideal onto another being and then be resented for it. It’s also not fair to the being I intended to create. And there was the fact that I already had Blaze, and creating another being with the intent to act as my guardian and companion felt incredibly wrong. However, I couldn’t turn Blaze into a tulpa. He was already too real, and I was afraid the tulpa would resent me for forcing this persona onto it. I also didn’t think I could mentally withstand the idea of Blaze becoming anything other than the friend I’d had since childhood.
Then I learned about daemons. As someone with a “Christian” upbringing (another very long story) I was hesitant to look into anything like that. However, as I understand it, daemons (not demons) are your soul personified. That “voice” in the back of your mind that tells you to sleep before 3 am, or to eat when you haven’t for an entire day, that reminder that a failed test isn’t the end of the world, that conversation you have with yourself, debating the pros and cons of staying up late to study or going to bed early right before a test. For me, I think Blaze has always been that voice.
Which brings me to his current state. I started talking to Blaze again, just like I used to when I was a child. It felt strange at first since I’m now an adult that’s essentially talking to myself. And yet, it felt like I was calling up an old friend that I’d followed online but hadn’t actually spoken to in years. We talked about the idea of him being my daemon and returning to a more prominent role in my life. It’s hard to explain his feelings on the subject, but more or less, he’s happy about the decision. (more like... happy that I’m asking for help? Even if it’s just from my own soul?)
Yesterday, we decided on another name change. “Blaze” was never meant to be anything other than an alias for him to use when I wrote about him. His name had still been Guilmon, though as I wrote more about Blaze and spoke less to Guilmon, “Blaze” became the more common way for me to think of him. We played around with some sounds and spellings (he really didn’t want a name that started with “A”) we came up with Cairo (rhymes with “arrow”. Also, I only just now realized it’s also a place in Egypt and not just a word I made up...). This is partially from my synesthesia: “A’s” are bright red, “i’s” are yellow, and “o’s” are white. This combo is bright and warm, and the word itself is short, reminding me of a candle. I’ve always associated him with fire. “Cairo” also (vaguely) resembles “Hrairoo”, which is what Hazel occasionally calls his brother, Fiver, in the netflix adaptation of Watership Down (which, if I’m right about being ADD, is my current hyperfixation) Due to this, I occasionally call Cairo “Cairoo” because I think it sounds cute.
Cairo’s form is... difficult to explain. While he has changed from what I originally envisioned him as, his form hasn’t really changed from when we were kids. He is still vaguely dinosaur shaped, still brown with rust colored markings across his nose, a pale belly, and a sort of mane that runs from his head to his tail. The only big difference now is that his wing-like ears are shaped a bit more like rabbit ears and he can run on four legs as well as two. The closest real animal I can compare him to is a hare with a square snout and dinosaur tail. We tried to get him to shift into an actual hare, but that felt very... wrong and unnatural.
I’ve heard that daemons with fantasy forms aren’t daemons because they don’t mean anything, they don’t tell you anything about yourself. I’m not sure how to feel about that, but my opinions on daemons and their forms would be another conversation entirely. If the definition of a “daemon” truly excludes those with unnatural forms, then I am fine to say that Cairo is not a true daemon. Either way, those are just words to us. He is my friend, my companion, and my guardian. That has been true from the beginning, and I am beginning to believe it will be true to the end.
