#about cersei

[lordramsaybolton]

Why of all ASOIAF characters would you choose Ramsay?

We didn’t choose this—alters form involuntarily. It’s not like roleplaying.

We also share a brain with Cersei if you wanna be bothered by that too lol

[lordramsaybolton]

Looking at my Cersei funko pop I used to have at my desk at my old job and then lent to the manager guy who kinda took me under his wing whom I miss. He took her off his desk and gave her back to me the day the company got bought out with no warning and we all got laid off. Weird getting wistful looking at a cersei figurine but ok

She started occupying real estate in my head around that time… (the alter not the character. The character had already been one of my problematic faves tho)

[lordramsaybolton]

Long DID rambling (Ramsay, Cersei, etc.)

it's complicated bc like...i really like cersei as a character, she's always been one of my problematic faves, but then, like Ramsay before her, she ended up in my head. As I've spoken about with my Ramsay and my Kylo (the fictional introjects--a fictive or fictional introject being a version of a fictional character that becomes an alter in a DID system), they are not the exact same as their canon counterparts.

The Cersei in my head is not as developed as Ramsay is, more of a fragment at times, and she mostly stays "inworld" or inside my head, very rarely actually fronting though lately that seems to be changing to some degree.

In any case, she fucked Ramsay "inworld" and obviously I was jealous bc Rams and I are basically "married" as the sort of mother and father figures of this whole ridiculous clan of alters. Ramsay protested that we barely spend time together a lot these days which yes, is true, and makes me sad--and it's something we've been working to correct. It's almost like his duty as "protector" of our system and more recently someone who actually engages (safely, under observation) with the littles, as a sort of parental figure (Daddy and sometimes "Mama" Ramsay lol--problematic genderfluid icon...anyway) has given him less time to spend with me.

And I can't go "inside" like the others. I can't spend time with him and seem to have two separate bodies like he can with Cersei. I still love Cersei as I try to extend love to all the alters--even ones I have had conflict with in the past, since we're all part of one unit, and sometimes the lines between us when we co-front seem more blurred than others.

Idk what my point was. Just articulating my thoughts about all this.

inb4 LARP, we've been professionally diagnosed since 2014 and talked to various experts about this phenomenon--none of it is unheard of. okay. im done now.,

but if Cersei makes a blog too don't be surprised.

My switching headaches are worsening and we're all jumbled up liike we are every Fall season.

I'm also begging my brain to not implant any House of the Dragon characters into my head. My fear upon consuming any new media. Once your brain learns to cope in a certain way, it will just...keep doing that, especially in times of abuse and stress which HEY, are sure happening to me rn. -_-

thx 4 reading if anybody did

Edit: cerseis been around here since like 2017, possibly 2016, it’s not totally new. Ramsay since 2014 for comparison.