Dec 16, 2015
My love life is a constant battle between: I'm so over him like fuck i don't deserve this I'm so much better than this And Ok but What if I sucked his dick :/
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My love life is a constant battle between: I'm so over him like fuck i don't deserve this I'm so much better than this And Ok but What if I sucked his dick :/
I literally could be in the worst fucking mood ever and babies make it all better like they don’t even have to do anything special. I could be pissed af, handed a baby and have it throw up on me and suddenly I’m just :) oh :) this tiny human is precious and pure and therefore life is worth it :)
Update
So I kind of feel the need to just, I don’t know, let everyone know how I’m doing? And maybe this little summary of most recent activities is more for me than anyone else, but I’d like to share it with the Tumblr community nonetheless since there are so many people on here that have been very loving and supportive.
I haven’t been on Tumblr much at all lately, and for those who’ve been following me for awhile, you know it’s because I needed to take a step back in order to really focus on my health.
My ex-boyfriend passed away some months ago, and it really took a toll on me. It was as though all the abuse I had dealt with from him was suddenly begging to be acknowledged now that I was officially safe from it. Which, naturally, resulted in my hospitalization and a diagnosis of PTSD. I was a mess. I was hopeless and suicidal and came the closest I ever had to killing myself.
I was released from the hospital and withdrew from the semester. I moved back home. I was but in an intensive outpatient program from PTSD recovery - for the next few months I was averaging 10 hours of therapy a week, and it felt like hell.
But you know what? I feel amazing. Approximately 4-5 months later:
- my treatment has moved down to only an hour of therapy per week. - I’m sleeping, eating, and exercising regularly again. - I’ve lost a total of 22lbs and love the way I look. - I finally managed to sublet my apartment. - I just recently got hired for a job I really wanted. - I’m able to accept that it’s okay to grieve for and miss the man I was in love with despite the fact he hurt me.
I’m not perfect, but I’m happy. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a very long time and I just want everyone out there to know that not giving up is always worth it. You’re too important to this world and the people in it, and you deserve way too much to deprive yourself of anything.
You’re all wonderful - and I love and appreciate every last one of you. I’m still very much trying to focus on myself, so I’m not always available to offer the best support, but I will tell you that my inbox is always open, and I always read my messages. I may not always respond, but I’m here. And I’m listening. And I care. Trust me.
Ok but tbh, someone asks me about Jason Todd and I'm like "WWUD8289nsjd8e29 SIT DOWN FOR EIGHT CENTURIES AS I TELL YOU EVERY EXCRUCIATING DETAIL ABOUT HIM!" But then someone asks me about Hal Jordan and I'm just "lol don't worry about it"
But the real question is who DON’T I ship Eddie with? I’m worse with him than I am with Bruce, tbh.
Me: *doesn’t want to watch iZombie because I know I’ll be grossed out by it*
Me: *keeps seeing gifsets of this hot Ravi guy and desperately wants to watch it anyways*
Ok but tbh if there was a show called “The Adventures of Eddie Thawne,” I wouldn’t even be watching Flash anymore.
Me: *sees post saying John Stewart is a better man than Hal Jordan*
Me: “lol tru.”